dbsk fighting!!kyaa!
Volume I of Love me always
I Love you..thats all i wanted to say, all i wanted to tell him was that i loved him, but..well..i couldn't. There is only one word to describe me, a coward..a stupid lonely coward, why can't i just confess!!?
JaeJoong..gosh, even his name sends chills down my spine, how long has it been that i have liked him?..a too long 6 years, wow..6 years of liking a perfect person..All i want to do is hold him close in my arms, and tell him i love him..tell him that he means the whole world to me. But now..theres no hope left...
Chapter 1 : Smile
Im lying here, about to die, the blood is slowly running from my wrist..I start crying, These are my last tears I loved him too much, I loved jae too much, I never really thought of slitting my wrists before, but my heart was already in enough pain to really care.
Chapter 2: I love..
Jaejoong, Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin enter the apartment that they all share, exhausted from the days work of dance rehearsal. Yunho had said that he wasnt feeling well and had stayed behind. Changmin plonked onto the couch and started muchingon a pack of lollies, while Yoochun and Junsu snuggled up to eachother on the other couch. Junsu closed his eyes and fell asleep on Yoochuns chest while Yoochun and changmin talked quietly so they wouldnt wake him up...All leaving Jaejoong..alone, so he went up and decided to go see Yunho, afterall, he hadnt seen him all day. Jaejoong opened the door and the light from the hallway poured into the Yunhos room, the he saw something..on the floor, Yunho-
Chapter 3: hurt
"Yunho ah!!!" Jaejoong shouted as he ran to the figure on the floor.-
Yunhos body lay beside the window, the moonlight shone over him, There was blood all over the floor, all over his clothes, and deep cuts in his wrist. "Yunho ah!..please! Wake up!!" Jaejoong felt the tears pour don his cheeks, pulling Yunho closer to him. Footsteps..Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin ran into the room."Oh my god!" Junsu cried, The three of them frozen at the doorway, Junsu clung to Yoochun, changmin quietly sobbing. "CALL AN AMBULANCE" Jaejoong shouted. Yoochun sprinted down the stairs into the living room, his hands fumbling for the phone..Changmin starts crying harder, And junsu hugs him. The thoughts swirled inside Jaejoongs head..Why did Yunho do this to himself?
Chapter 4: In my arms, in my heart
I was in Jaes arms."Jaejoongah.." my voice was weak, as i opened my eyes a little. " Jaejoong..smile for me." i choked out..Jaejoong hesisitated, then smiled behind a curtain of tears. "Yunho ah..why did you do this to yourself??"
-"Jae..you will never understand..I..love you." I slowly closed my eyes, the sound of sirens echoed down the street. "YUNHO!!"..Junsu pulled Jae away from me limp body. "YUNHO.."..Jaejoong buried his face into Junsus shoulder and started crying hysterically, when Yoochun and three other people walked in. I was rushed into ER, Jaejoong with me everystep of the way.
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I was lying on a hospital bed, someone was leaning on my left arm, i slightly opened my eyes, and saw Jaejoong. His hand was tightly gripped with mine, I smiled..He looked so beautiful..peaceful..I looked down at our tightly linked hands..i squeezed his gently, Jaejoong opened his eyes almost immediately," Yun!!!" Jae grinned and flung himslef into my arms, I laughed and he sat back in his chair. I looked at him, and my eyes wouldn't tear away from him.."What..?" Jaejoong smiled.-"You're so cute when you wake up, like a little baby." I teased.."HEY!! Changmins the baby!" Jae pouted. I sat up, trying not to put pressure on my wrist, jae got up to help me. Then there was a silence, and jae looked at me..I knew what he was thinking and i didnt blame him."Yunho..what happened..Why did you hurt yoursel like this? Its not like you." He looked at me, looking for an answer. I was silent, I was lost for words. Jae took my hand and held it tenderly. "I couldn't survive anymore.." Jaejoong looked at me curiously, as i tried to avoid his gaze. "Jae..I've had a secret for a few years, its the deepest secret ive ever had in my life, Last night i couldnt take it anmore, I'd had enough..All i thought abut was..you." Jaejoong still looked lost, as if i hadn't made it clear enough. "me?..Yunho..if i've done anything wrong..im really sorry. But i dont get wha.."- " Jae, you havent done anything wrong" I quickly corrected. " Remember what i told you last night?" Jaejoong thought back to the night before, the sight of Yunho on the floor, bloodstained clothes, cuts in his wrists, ambulance..then what yunho said..Jaejoong remembered.."You..said that you loved me." He said in a quiet voice. "I said i loved you, and i would say it over and over again, I've loved you for a long six years. Im such a coward, I couldn't confess..Im an idiot. Kim Jaejoong..you dont know how madly in love i am with you, You mean the world to me..Thats why i did wat i did, i couldnt face the pain of your rejection, id rather die." A stream of tears formed instantly, and Jae pulled me close into his arms. "yunho! please don't cry! Dont say such silly thing! Do you know how much pain i would have been if you had gone?..when i saw you on the floor my heart stopped, I was scared Yunho! Dont do that to me ever again. Please!" Jae started to cry too, he pulled me even closer.." I love you Yunho..goddamit..i love you..dont scare me like that again.".. I pulled back from our embrace..what did he just say??"jae..?"
-" Yunho, im being dead serious..im in love with you." I looked down at my wrist and then looked back at him..I would never have done this, if i knew how much pain it would have caused him..never-
Chapter 5: True love
A singletear ran down Jae joongs face, I couldnt help but brush it away. I put my hand behind his neck, he pulled me coser, our lips met..now..my love was returned.. We kissed passionately, and then pulled apart for a breath, our eyes locked and we held eachothers hands tightly..I put my forhead to his.." Smile for me." I whispered.. Jae chuckled.."thats it!"i grinned. I pulled back the bed covers and patted the spot next to me. " Jae got out of his chair and snuggled up to me in the once vacant spot. I wrapped my arms around him. "What time is it?" Jae asked, I reaced for my phone in my back pocket." It is....6 oclock" I announced. "In the morning!?" Jae groaned "Its still dark too!"-
"yeah". Jae laid his head on my chest. I smiled softly and kissed him on the forehead.."Sleep tight Jae.."..A few minutes went by and I was fast asleep too..The sun rising over the city of Seoul, shining its sparkling rays over the sleeping jae, tight in my arms.
-END OF PART 1-
