“If he starts getting dizzy make him sit down.” The nurse instructed before leaving the room as though she would prefer to be out of the conversation that was about to start up. Nino looked and watched for a minute as she disappeared and then closed the door before looking at Ryuu again. There was a deadness within Nino that would all but be expressed on his visage and features.
“How is Matsu doing?” Ryuu asked causing the dark haired man to blink and look away not saying anythning more. What was there to say? Matsu was in bed asleep and dreaming with one eye missing... and there had been nothing that the dark haired man could do about it but feel the pain with him. The sound of Ryuu sighing hit Nino's ears yet the dark haired man did not look forwards or even at Ryuu anymore.
“I want to see him.” Ryuu said aloud, and as Nino turned his head, the dark haired man found that Ryuu was making his way or rather trying to make his way out of the room. The dark haired man made no motion to move. He didn't want to go back just yet. He didn't want to go back and see the face of things that had reflected back too long ago to a time he refused to ever see again. It was something buried in his being, yet he had no idea how to dig it out.
“Come on you’re the only one that knows where his room is and I don’t feel like getting yelled at by the nurses.” Ryuu forced a laugh from himself as though trying to bring humor into the conversation, yet it made no effect on the dark haired man who only managed to resurrect a different sort of pain from the word choice. Nino felt the scrutinizing eye of Ryuu looking him over, yet he made no motion to make it stop. The dark haired man was willing to be judged at that point. He wanted someone to be angry with him... someone to tell him that it was his fault.... yet....
“It’s not your fault; no one knew that this was going to happen…” Ryuu's words all but shattered Nino's mind like glass. Feeling a hand wrap around hi shirt collar and drag him of, Nino was forced to walk with Ryuu out of the room. Nino's eyes averted and he said nothing while being dragged down the hallway. Ryuu kept talking on. You don't even understand..... Nino found himself thinking these words but did not say them out loud.
“You’re acting like a child; this isn’t like you at all.” Ryuu continued before finally stopping and turning around to stare at the dark haired man. "What ever happened in the past between you two to make you act like this now is stupid. The past is the past so build a bridge and get over it. By the Matsu follows you around he obviously forgave you for what ever happened and I’m sure he will again.” Something stirred in Nino. A twisted feeling he wasn't sure how to describe. Am I so damn obvious to read??? Dark blue eyes stared at Ryuu. However the slate haired boy was looking at thew all instead. You don't understand anything.... Nino's eyes narrowed even more.
“In fact Matsu seems to be his happiest when he’s around you don’t you ever notice?” Ryuu asked causing the dark haired man to stop and stare in confusion.
Ryuu continued walking and was going towards what appeared to be the nurse's station. Nino had stopped walking, but the slate haired boy had continued on. He's.... the happiest... when he's around me..... Nino shook his head and turned straight down the hall all but running. Damn it Matsu! How can you..... Damn it Ryuu! You don't understand anything! Anything! Running down the hallway, Nino made a sharp left. I promised I'd never let anything else hurt him.... never again..... and... Suddenly Nino found himself stopped and seizing a wall. His stomach had twisted up again in irritation and confusion. Damn it Ryuu....... Nino breathed out and looked up at his surroundings, and his eyes caught for a second. He was back... once again... in front of Matsu's room.
The dark haired man stared at the door that led into Matsu's room but made no motion to enter. He should hate me....he should hate me for what I did.... what I failed to do....'he's happiest when he's around you'....Ryuu doesn't even..... Walking inwards, Nino breathed in the smell of hospitalization again... it was something that had been burned into him too often and too much.... Standing once again in the corner he had remained frozen in for the hours previous, the dark haired man said nothing. However, soon enough the sounds of feet hit the dark haired man's ears. Turning his head, he found Ryuu standing in the doorway of the room.
Ryuu appeared to look at Nino a moment before looking at Matsu and walking over towards him. The dark haired man simply stared feeling himself broken to do anything even if Ryuu chose to do something.
“He’s tense…he must be having a nightmare.” Ryuu's voice was loud, yet his voice only barely registered to the dark haired man. “The mind is a realm of twilight. I can access it and see what people are thinking, dreaming... Remember when we first met and I heard your thoughts? I didn’t know what was going on. My father explained to me what happened.” Ryuu continued, and suddenly Nino seemed to snap back into the past that Ryuu had brought back up. The dark haired man's eyes narrowed and stared at the slate haired boy's as if challenging him.
"He needs someone to comfort him Nino and you’re the best one to do it. By accessing a dream I have limits up to 2 hours before being thrown out…I’ll try and restrain Doki from surfacing while you’re in there…that is if you want to.” Ryuu said this aloud, yet all Nino could do was keep the glare on his face. “And look at it this way one you can never be trapped in a dream and two you and Matsu will have time to just talk you know like friends should.” Ryuu laughed a bit to himself, but all Nino did was sigh.
"Caught between the darkness and the light, the mind tries desperately to chose which to find," Nino breathed outwards the words that had all but been beaten into him as a child. They were shamanistic quotes that had never meant much to the dark haired man until then.
"Uh.... ya hah..." Ryuu laughed sheepishly for a minute. "So is that a yes then?"
Nino looked at Matsu's sleeping body and said nothing for a moment. 'He's happiest when he's around you'.... the thought was back, and it settled like a thousand needles resting on Nino's very being. The dark haired man closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "Fine," he answered aloud unsure if he really meant this or not.
Suddenly feeling a strange power run through him, Nino resisted the urge to recoil. However, Doki did not surface, and soon enough, Nino found himself in a different place all together. Opening his eyes, the dark haired man took a sudden step back in shock as the images of death and war took into his sight. Skulls laughed loudly and storm clouds raged over head. Nino's head turned in every direction for a moment until his eye found what was obscure in the picture. Matsujun was laying with his body completely curled up in the center of it all... in the center of the chaos and misery. Nino froze for a moment.
"This place...." Nino said aloud looking around.
"Is this really what Matsu dreams about?" Ryuu's voice caused the dark haired man to look over and find the form of the slate haired boy looking around as well. Nino said nothing for a minute until Ryuu looked over at him. "It's...." he tried but then broke of. "I'll... wait here..." Ryuu said appearing to sit down where he had once stood. Nino stared for a minute but turned his head back and started towards the white haired man in the fetal position in the center of the chaos and confusion.
"I don't... I don't want to be alone...." Matsu's voice caught Nino off guard and caused the dark haired man to step back a split second before stopping again. Nino stared unable to move forwards or back. "Sho... why am I alone.... Where is Nino... where is Aiba... where is anyone why am I alone?" Matsu continued to mutter loud enough that it all but vibrated in the air. "I'm scared... I'm sacred..... why am I alone.... please... someone be there... please..... I don't want to be alone..."
Nino's eyes grew as the realization hit him. He... Nino thought to himself yet was unable to fully process the thought. All this time... I just..... Nino breathed outwards as if unable to do do anything. I made him do work... he didn't have to come with me... he could have stayed... but....
"Nin-kun.... I don't want to be alone...." Matsu's voice pleaded causing Nino's eyes to grow again.
Because.... because... why.... why would he not just find someone else.. he's easily happy why doesn't he just.... Nino found himself trying to take a step forwards but freezing again out of his own doubt.
"I don't want to be alone!" Matsu shouted, and suddenly Nino found himself running straight towards the white haired boy. Suddenly bending downwards and finding that Matsu had formed himself as a small child... easily picked up... Nino held him.....
"You're not alone... Matsu...." Nino breathed out. "I'm here...."
The surroundings changed slowly in the next hour from the bones and storms to something more peaceful... a past that both men had lived through. Ryuu had disappeared during some part of this time, yet Nino had remained holding the white haired child and sitting down with his head on the child's shoulder. I'm sorry... Matsu..... Nino breathed outwards but did not say the words aloud. He did not say the words aloud for one reason and one reason only... because the child had all but become asleep in his arms... in the strange dream world around them.....minutes passed like hours.... or rather... maybe time was standing still.....
"You were my first friend... Nino..." Matsu's voice caused the dark haired man to look down and find he was no longer holding a child but the full body of Matsu. "I didn't want... you to leave...." he said the words quietly as if to himself. "Even when... Aoi died... I didn't want to be alone with that.... I didn't... I... She... I....I... I knew I wouldn't be like Aoi was to you...." Matsu was looking down now, and his voice had grown weaker. "I just didn't want you to leave...I.. didn't want you to go....."
"I'm sorry... Matsu," Nino sighed aloud. "For everything I put you through....."
"Jun Nin!" a childish Aoi stood not far off with a smile on her face. She grinned outwards and all but tackled the dark haired boy in front of her. "Let's be friends forever! Ok? You gotta promise! You gotta promise all three of us will be! Ok? Nino! Are you listening?"
"Ya ya ya...." a dark haired boy with calm eyes sighed back. "We'll be friends...."
"Always," a white haired boy smiled.
"NO!" Aoi's face puffed up in frustration at the two boys. "We gotta make a promise! Like this!" The girl seized each boy's hand and took them in her own. "Now... we'll stay friends forever, right?"
"Right."
"Right."
The memory ended, and Nino found himself as though he had been watching a movie. Matsu breathed out to himself with a strangely tired look on his face. "Is Emiko... Aoi, to you, Nino?" Matsu asked in a quiet voice. Nino said nothing but looked down at him. "I know what you said at the apartment... but...."
"All three of us... are friends...." Nino answered back darkly sighing to himself. "But... we also have more friends.... now..." Matsu looked up at the dark haired man with a strange calm understanding. The word had expanded... more friends..... more people in the world that could hold things out... Matsu nodded to himself quietly.
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Ah weird love here, no? *is shot*
