I STILL HAVEN'T SLEPT... THAT MAKES IT 3 DAYS AND IF I DON'T SLEEP TODAY, THEN IT'S GOING TO BE FOUR DAYS!!!

Yesterday was a very fun day. Me and friends had our party here in my house. We ate lots of foods and got our tummies big. Preparing all those stuff was very tiring. I then continued to do my projects...

Earlier, I was watching a show that featured Paquito Diaz. He is a veteran actor known for portraying a bad-ass antagonist in many movies. The show had clips of his last interview on television. And I can say that I really did not recognize him. His trademark mustache was gone, his hair was almost white and his body became thin. He died last March 3.

My grandparents were sleeping and I looked on their faces. I suddenly felt my tears falling and as I'm typing this post, I'm almost crying. I became sentimental. My fear of losing them (just as I mentioned in this post) came back. I became crazy thinking on stuffs like what will I do if they're not beside me anymore. I can't imagine what I would do if that happens.

I know that it may be because I'm too stressed and haven't slept in days so I'm crazy thinking like this. But its reality, that's why I still can't move on. I can't shift to the positive things even if I wanted to. The more memories I remember, the more sentimental I get and my fear of losing them hurts me so much...

I can't say things anymore, I'm too depressed and I'm crying right now...
:'(