I've changed... terribly :(

As suggested by the government, we remain indoor until 16 because of North Korea's rocket launch. It's good that there are no missiles, just a giant rocket. I'm just hoping the debris falling from that will not land in our place nor will land where there are people.

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BTW, I'm ridiculously in love with the ridiculously photogenic guy

Somehow, I just realized a huge number of changes within me... and I'm not happy with it. Seriously.

  • My friendly side is fading. I'm only stuck with about 4 close friends and I feel terribly awkward towards my other classmates. But I'm not really like this. Even if I have my own circle of friends, I'm always bubbly and cheerful even with others and I don't feel the awkwardness. What the hell is happening to me?
  • I'm having trouble with my course. I wonder if Fine Arts is actually meant for me. I don't feel the artistic creativity thing when doing artworks anymore. I wasn't like this during first semester. Even under pressure and a lot of things to do, I'm still giving my best efforts. But now, I feel that every brushstroke/lines that I draw are so wrong. I'm not satisfied with the outcome either. I feel I'm such an underdog and I don't deserve to be an artist. I don't know why I'm affected but majority of the people in my section (including my 4 close friends) got their paintings on the exhibit. I hated that exhibit and I hated myself for not doing well. Somehow, I feel I'm such a shame. My paintings are graded low (at least not fail). I can't believe I'm getting depressed over a simple freshmen painting exhibit.
  • I suddenly lost my inspiration for making anime edit stuff. Maybe because our professors are forcing us into realistic stuff. I'm starting to observe realistic stuff as well and learn every bit of detail (especially since we still have Figure Drawing this year). I noticed that I'm no longer comfortable with drawing anime and I can't believe I'm feeling apeshit. I never came to a conclusion that one day, I will feel uncomfortable with anime. Even my otaku side is fading as well. I've lost motivation of making cards and wallpapers. I'm no longer the excited-to-make-a-card-slash-wallpaper Josephine I used to be. I'm thinking maybe I should just go on hiatus or deactivate my account here. But I don't want to go without saying anything. And I love theO. It's not that easy for me to simply leave you guys.
  • And since I've mentioned that I'm quite not into anime edits anymore, I'm becoming more senseless and I take my time and effort to make senseless GIFs on Tumblr. See the one below. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME TUMBLR?????
  • I've been lurking in Tumblr actually. Despite the stressful work, it never fails to give me a smile. Do you have Tumblr guys too?

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I'm turned into something that I'm not.... oh my goodness, I'm having the Peeta Mellark syndrome

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