Hey guys, what's up? I'm just sitting here. Exciting.
Okay, so that's enough idle chit chat. Let's get back to the important subject: Me. Just kidding. I can only wish I was that conceited. But, then again, maybe I am...
Well, I was thinking once again yesterday about why I can't do good school work. And I think it's because I am, like, grieving over what's happened in my life. And because of this I want to not do anything or go anywhere. So I have to stop grieving to stop procrastinating in life. Which means I have to gain enough confidence and motivation to move on. And that is how I will get good grades and succeed in school. Hooray? Hooray.
Uh. Hm... I was looking back on how I got things done before, like in losing weight all those years ago, and I think I just have to buckle down and start doing things. There's not really much thought involved, just doing. But this is a bit different than a physical change, as it is a mental one. So... Well, I don't know. There's a lot of other factors. Like... my fear of being inadequate. My fear of people. My anger issues.
Yeah, did you know that I have anger issues? I am very quick to anger, and over the dumbest things. Which is usually why I wish that I didn't have emotions because I ruin everything for myself by pitching a hissy fit over literally every damn thing. I guess I should learn how to deal with and express my anger in a healthy way. Maybe not even express. Just... deal with it.
Maybe I'm so angry all of the time because I just let stuff build up. Because I've been through so much shit and I'm so angry about it all, so when one little thing goes wrong I just flip out. Yeah, that's probably how it goes. I should learn how to deal with all of my feelings about what has happened in my life, then. Which will probably let me gain some confidence about things and gain some insight on my life and yadda yadda.
Meaning I should go think about all that junk. UGH.