This week has been pretty shitty so far. For the past two days I was home sick because my period decided to be a real bitch this time around, and I had horrible cramps and a backache nonstop for those two days. All I did was sleep pretty much (I had some odd dreams, but let me get to those later), and watch this kind of dumb movie my mom checked out from the library, because there was nothing else to do. I dunno if any of you have seen it, but it's called Fireproof and it's about this dude who's trying to save his marriage through random acts of kindness and GAWD. (Don't get me wrong, I respect those of you who believe, but it's really not for me and when it's all up in your face like that, especially in media, I think it's either really really cheesy or really pisses me off, depending on what standpoint they're coming from. Anyway.) The only thing that redeemed it in my book is that I'm pretty sure my favorite character, the main dude Caleb's friend, was named Simmons. At least, that's as much as I could figure out from the credits, because throughout the whole movie I had no idea what the dude's name was. XD;
Anyway, so yesterday, I was allowed to go online for only about 30 minutes because my parents don't let me go online when I'm sick (stupid rule, I really don't know what they think they're accomplishing with it). Alex and I started talking a little, and she asks me my opinion on something, so I give it to her, and she gets all pissy at me saying stuff like "I know that already, try to be a little more helpful." So then I replied with something like, "You wanted my opinion, and you got it." And then she says (god this sounds like a stupid teenage drama being relayed on... which I guess it is, but still) "I'm only asking you so you feel like you have input, not because you actually do." So then I go off on her about how she's always so insensitive, and she's really selfish and controlling and such, because she is, and she just LAUGHED at me (obviously I couldn't hear her actually laughing through the computer, but I know her well enough to read as much through what she was typing -- I think I'm pretty good at reading people's emotions online anyway. Mari can attest to it XD;).
So today I'm completely ignoring her until she apologizes, which at this point looks pretty pointless. She's been ignoring me back. And she was acting like she had something really funny in front of her in Algebra, which I know was just a ruse to get me to look at her/figure out what it was/ask what it was, most likely so she could just snub me herself. I didn't fall for it.
I'm not giving in this time, though, because every time we ever have a fight, I'm always the one who apologizes first. EVERY TIME. There has not been a single time in our friendship of 8 years that she's been the first to try to mend anything. It makes me wonder if she really does value our friendship, or if I'm just someone she can control, and that's the only reason she's kept me around. I just want to know that she cares about our friendship.
Hopefully she won't be too obtuse to realize that all I want is a heartfelt apology. Pff, she might even be too stubborn to offer one. If that's the case... then she'll just have to be alone for as long as it takes her to suck it up and say she's sorry.
And another thing... lately, ever since I told her my feelings for her, it seems like we've had more problems, almost like she's been trying to push me away. :C I don't even know what to say to that, except if she was, then it's worked.
Fwehhhhhhhhhhh =o=; Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get that out there.
Anyway. Odd dream time.
I dreamed that I met Mariel and Rachel and their baby sister Alex and their mom in the little kid playground at the elementary school. It was all set up like a bazaar, and apparently they were staying in a really really really tiny trailer right in the middle of the market place. It was like the size of a twin bed, I'm serious, but then when you got inside it was about the size of a normal RV. Except that there were like 5 people staying there, because somehow I knew their dad was there too, even though I never saw him in the dream.
Anyway, it was really odd, because they were all dressed up like they were Muslim, and I was like "OH FUCK" in the dream because I thought being dressed like normal would insult them. I don't really know. XD; But then I was like "screw it" and glomped Mari from behind, yelling "MARY-UHL!" but then she looked at me funny so I was like "Oops sorry Mahriul." (FUCK MARI I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE YOUR NAME oAo;)
And then out of nowhere was this skateboard, and I was skateboarding for a while, and then Mari just turns into this cg anime person that was supposed to be her, and supposedly that she drew, but it was not in her style at all or anything, it was more like... it could have been a mixture of Lucky Star and The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. I have no idea. XD; But then she was like "HAHA I DRAW BETTER THAN YOU SEE" and striking poses to show off her drawing skills, because she drew herself, and I was kind of a little mad and responded, "We just draw differently, that's all."
And then I was in North Carolina (where I've never been before. XD;) next to this huuuuge glass building, that was like an office complex and a museum. But I went inside, and it became my school, and then I was going through the lunchline and I got these nachos with cheese and broccoli bits in it. And then Alex appeared (my friend, not the baby xD) and she was like "EW THERES NO WAY IM EATING THAT unless it has more fruit in it :D" but I was like "Too late, the lunch line is closed." So I was sort of eating some, but I didn't want any more because the broccoli tasted really gross, so I threw it away. And then I went back outside, and it was North Carolina again, and I was walking along this street with this really pretty divider along it that was all covered with trees and stuff, and then it wasn't North Carolina anymore, it was Europe. And then I bought a hotdog from a random vender dude and just as I was about to take a bite out of it I woke up. It looked so good, too, like covered with mustard and relish, even though I don't like relish, and tomatoes and stuff. :C
Oh yeah, and I had this other dream that I was Simmons, and I found out Grif was a wolfman (not a werewolf, just like he could transform into a wolf if he wanted to) because I caught him in the shower. And then we were both wolfmen and we were playing in the shower (It wasn't as dirty as that sounds, we were just acting like puppies and stuff XDD;)
But yeah, that's about it.
THE END.
*EDIT* - All that crap and I even forgot to mention that we're not doing Solace magazine anymore, because there weren't enough good submissions. So about 9 hours of work on the cover, along with like 2 more taking pictures of artwork for it and 1 more on top of that submitting my own stuff DOWN THE DRAIN. D;
