Guys, I am in some deep shit.
I'm attracted to the lady who I'm going to be working with for the rest of the summer. =o=;
I'd estimate she's about 20 or 21, which isn't so much older than me, but still. I pretty much walked in, saw her, and went "FUCK GODDAMMIT" because she's like, exactly my type. :O She's got really short blonde hair (which may be bleached, I'm not sure), glasses, these weird cool earrings, and she's got a tattoo on her wrist, and she's really nice, and good-naturedly sarcastic, and AWEFHASDFHASDFASDF WHY. This is exactly something that I DIDN'T need right now. Oh, and did I mention she's a vegetarian, too? She shared some pita crackers and artichoke and spinach dip with me. ;A;
HALP.
Oh yeah I also forgot to mention that when we were driving back home THE WEIRDEST song came on the radio (I'm not even joking, and I've heard some pretty weird songs) which was called....
...wait for it....
.....Wait for it.......
....Detachable Penis.
Yeah, you heard me right. o_O;
I'll post the lyrics because they're too hilarious to pass up:
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.
[background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
a while, then out]
So, how was your day? :/
