I continued to sketch down all the Gijika as the came and announced themselves. Suddenly one girl seemed to express an extreme unnerved form and rushed off to the bathroom. I honestly couldn’t blame her for running. Standing in front of people was nerve racking as it was. My eye traced where she had disappeared to and found that someone was already heading to help her. This slightly surprised me seeing as how everyone seemed more than willing to help. Indeed, they all did seem to express a kind side that I couldn’t help but admire. As a traveler, one often finds himself in the company of a few before heading on to look and examines other things of the world. However, it is indeed something that stirs with a double edged sword. On the one hand, I was free to go where I chose, and on the other, this freedom also limited me to the people I could interact with. Weighing the two was something that I had done often enough, and yet as I began to weight them there, I found that the scales were at odds with one another on the matter in my mind at that moment. Usually there was a clear choice of wanting to move on, and yet there was something strange here, that I could not put my brush on.
Looking back at the picture I had started, I flipped to a different page and drew a quick sketch of the scene that had just occurred. It finally stuck in my mind that I did not draw Gijika often, and the way the forms had come out was somewhat twisted in comparison with the way I had seen them. Sighing, I flipped to a different page before looking back at the picture I had started and then started again. After a moment, I caught myself still trying to redraw the scene as though there was some connection that I could not quite describe. Shaking my head, I folded back my sketchbook to a new page.
My eye moved towards the window and away from the meeting once again, and I had the sudden wish to leave once again. The scale in my mind was tipping, and I wished to see something more that I could place onto paper… or maybe one day canvas. Canvas…. Sighing to myself, my mind was forced back to the idea that had caused me to leave in the first place. As was stated before, many smeargle left to pursue their want of seeing and copying onto two dimensions. This was almost set into every mindset of ever smeargle. The medium of choice varies between smeargle. However, one thing that seemed to hold true, we all liked to draw on large canvas or something large. My eye shifted down to how big my sketchbook was, small indeed in comparison to some. However, for ease of carrying, I had made do with it.
Looking back up the walls I had only drawn up a few hours ago, I realized how bare I had left them. Indeed they seemed to display nothing more than white elegance reflecting in the light that moved in. However, a part of me wished to disrupt the white and paint it with images. Shaking my head a moment, I almost laughed at myself.
My eyes more down the wall and then back to the introductions that seemed to progress even as the fearful one had left. Slowly a question came to mind that I did want answered. Just how many were there? How many of us were here in this house? I had seen many, but I had never thought to count. Well… then again… I had made as many rooms as I believed necessary which encompassed more than a hundred or so. Why had I made so many? Indeed there were many people here. Breathing out, I realized I was only venturing into too long of an internal monologue. Breaking from it once again, I looked around the room.
I found that my teeth had methodically found their way into the top of my pen once again and that I continued to stare forwards almost into nothing it seemed. Relaxing my shoulders and then turning my head, I noticed that Poochy still looking at my sketchbook, looked down at the picture I had drawn.
“I think I’ll go outside,” I said after a moment as I started edging my way down the wall and away from those that seemed still intent on explaining themselves. As I moved back and out of the room, I managed to edge out of the house and out to the back. Looking into the backyard, I sighed and the moved out to the gazebo that I had added as somewhat of an afterthought.
Sitting down and placing my sketchbook before me, I started looking back through the pages I had just drawn. Several of them had twists and turns giving strange shapes and figures on the page. I hadn’t even realized I had been drawing through my internal thought.
My eyes shifted out to the rest of the yard and the natural scene I had tried to construct as best I could. Indeed, it had a different look to it than I had imagined, and yet I found that I liked it that way most assuredly.
As I looked out farther into the back yard, I noticed that Lupe was standing out by a fence alone. She had run off after giving her own explanation of things, and now I saw where she had gone. Setting up my paper, I started to draw again. I still needed work drawing Gijika… and why not? It was quiet out here, and she was just standing a bit far off. Carefully, I started drawing once again.
The sound of my pencil on paper seemed to echo in the almost silent yard, and before I could look up again, I found that Lupe had turned and was looking straight at me. For one reason or another, I felt my face turn red for a moment, and with that, I quickly averted my eyes and moved them out somewhere else as if I had not even seen her. However, this did not stop her from walking over anyways.
“I thought you left,” she said almost sharply.
I gave a half nod and wasn’t sure exactly what to say. Flipping the sketchbook down and placing a hand on it, I looked back at her.
“After your ‘scene’ I decided to stay,” I answered keeping my voice level and relaxed.
This only seemed to make her mad, and she turned her head sideways and crossed her arms. For a moment it looked as if she were about to apologize, but then that second disappeared and was replaced with a ‘hmph’. I blinked unsure of exactly what she expected me to say. When it was finally assumed that I was supposed to be the one to say sorry, I sighed and shook my head refusing to say anything either.
I picked up my sketchbook and then stood up again as if I were going to leave. Lupe didn’t protest this, but after I had turned and was away from her eye… well at least my face was away from her eye… I stopped.
“Sorry for that,” I finally appealed. There was no real reason for this besides the fact that I knew this was not the way I wanted to keep things. It would be far more peaceful in the long run, and I knew this for a fact. “People make me nervous,” I continued but then broke off into silence again. “And I am not used to crowds. It was nothing personal.”
“I…” Lupe seemed to try but didn’t seem ready to return the gesture. I shrugged my shoulders and started to move again. “Sorry about that too….” Lupe said suddenly. A part of me resisted the urge to smile. I turned around and held my sketchbook with both arms.
I gave a nod and then looked back at her. Not sure of whether or not to continue this conversation or let things fall into a strange awkward silence, I decided it was best to avoid the latter if I could help it.
“The mansion will stay for a long time,” I commented more or less to keep conversation flowing.
“Thanks for that…” Lupe answered.
Unsure of what to say to continue this, I looked down to my sketchbook. It was apparent that Lupe had followed this eye movement as well for when I looked up again, she appeared to be about to say something.
“What were you drawing just now?” she asked.
“Nothing….” I answered somewhat embarrassed that I had drawn her just standing out there. I wouldn’t let her see the picture even if it killed me.
“Come on let me see it,” Lupe said as she reached for it and succeeded in taking it from me yet again. I nearly lunged straight at her to try and take it back. However, my attempts were in vain and she had already started looking through the sketchbook again. As if she had nothing else to do today! I lunged forwards again in a last ditch effort to keep her from looking at it, but by the time this full transaction had occurred, I found that she had found the page and was staring at the picture I had drawn.
I felt instantly squeamish and unable to do anything but let my eyes dart from her face to the picture and back again. Trying to force something up in my throat to say, I found that I was cut off and unable to even make any motion what so ever. My hand twitched and reached for the metal holding the sketchbook together. As my fingers closed around the binding, the book was instantly pulled from my grasp again.
“Is this me?” Lupe asked still looking at the picture. I mentally smacked myself unsure of what to do.
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^_^ ah there we go back to my long posts lol. It took me a while to write this actually hah. Anyways, if you wouldn't mind continuing or something hah.
Mear
and
KC
