Shupple
I couldn't help but cry after I told Lux. I haven't broken down like this in a long time... but I couldn't help it. The note, the paints, everything. Why did he...? I didn't understand. Why leave of all times? I felt like my own heart was breaking and everything else was crumbling. Why did Gijinkas always get the crap? Damn it...
I covered up my eyes with my hands as Lux said something but I didn't hear him. Sure, I knew I was crying in front of him, but I didn't care. I just had to get it out... I hadn't done so for the past few days, ever since Lux tried to commit suicide and Mear broke up with me that day. Everything always ended in sorrow and pain... Somebody was always lost somehow...
That's when I heard the bed creak a little and a hand rest on my cheek with my head being lifted out of my hands. Lux looked at me with a small smile as tears poured down my cheeks.
“Shupple, I know nothing I can say right now can take away your hurt, but I want you to know that it’s okay to cry, it makes you gijinka.” Gijinka? Never considered I guess it to be something really important. “They say when one door closes another opens right? It may not be much, but Mear…well it’s his lose, you are a fine woman and will find someone new, you really are beautiful Shupple, and now that your door with him has closed, maybe its for the best. I mean, look here, a new door has opened for a new friendship between you and me.” I chuckled for a moment and smiled and looked her in the eyes. “You are my best friend Shupple, and you mean a lot to me, honestly, I love you very much Shupple.” My heart almost stopped. I hadn't heard those words in many years... and it made me realize that Lux... I loved him too.
He leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek but that didn't help much as I continued crying, put my arms around Lux's neck, and just cried into his chest as I collapsed onto the bed. I didn't know why, really, but I just felt so... broken. So much wretched away from my chest...
Lux picked me up and set me on his lap as he held me to him and let me cry. If I was hurting his chest, I wasn't meaning to, but he didn't seem to mind. His heart was actually really calm as I heard the steady beats. Lux started to hum a bit and I recognized the tune, even though I never listened to it much, but it slowly calmed as Lux actually began to sing.
“Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side too...”
His soft voice... It made me relax more than I realized and stop crying. What did Lux really think sometimes when he was with friends? Whatever it was, it made me feel softer and calmer on the inside. I rested my head on his shoulder and slowly felt my eyes starting to drop.
“When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothin' you confess, could make me love you less
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you...”
I didn't even know that I felt asleep until I felt my mind drift into darkness. I needed to tell Lux though... that I loved him too...
My mind drifted into dreams and I was soon watching an old memory of mine, when I was actually playing with Shift when I was five and he was eight, playing hopscotch. Tanner was soon taken with his family by the same people who took my parents, so I still had my big brother... kind of.
Shift, at the time, was a Nuzleaf, about to evolve into a Shiftray. He got bored easily and just wanted to relax in the trees and not give a care to what people thought of him or of other people. He didn't realize how far he drifted away from me, losing himself to the hunters and their power. His crazy, spread-out hair was white, his pupils being yellow slits and the rest of his eyes being black. He had on a brown vest, light green fingerless gloves, a white undershirt, black pants, and he was barefoot. It was what he always looked like when he didn't have his Team Rocket jacket on...
I watched as we played hopscotch, using a rock to count how much along we needed to get. He then teased me about winning and I being upset that I didn't win and then he letting me win the next game. How I would love to go back to that time where everything was freelance and there were no worries about what species we were. Why I hoped to get along with humans so much... and then there was Lux.
He was always so cocky whenever I saw him passing in the hallways in the mansion, hanging out with Hoom or kidding around with Lupe. I never knew how much were were so similar, our pasts being same in a different way. He never got the attention he wanted and even though I did, I felt lonely at times. It seemed like Lux never sought what he wanted to. He was overprotective, but lovable. Same for Xio, but in a completely different way, I suppose.
Lux just seemed like a big lovable bear that would be my best friend for a while... That would be nice.... What he said though... it meant a lot... I had closed my door to Mear now, and he could never open the locked door, no matter if he tried to break it down. I had to let other people in, let other people get to know me. Have an open heart and rid of Mear... Put him on the shelf of memories and make it disappear into dust... and I was already starting to feel better. Just open up another door...
~About hours later...~
I awoke softly to the room being dimmed down, the light outside being dark with rain clouds. I noticed I was on Lux's bed, covered with his blankets, but he wasn't in the bed at all. Instead, I noticed in the dark of all things, Lux was sleeping on the couch with Raine, her head on his shoulder. Seems like she finally trusted him... The thought made me smile.
I sat up a little and stretched a little and then looked at Lux, who seemed to be healing fine with a small smile on his face.
"Love you, Lux..." I whispered quietly as I got up and moved quietly over to the small sitting area that was right before the window and sat down on it and looked at the window that was getting small drops of rain on it and the people down below walking the rain. It was at least mid-morning...
I moved the window open a little and let in the light breeze as I heard Lux shift a bit on the couch. I was forgetting about Mear now and it was making me feel better somewhat...
When I looked out the window again, I swore I saw yellow eyes looking up at me, but I blinked and then it was gone. Maybe I was imagining things... but nothing was imaginary anymore.
I sighed and smiled. I should forget about the past if I had to... Maybe I would have a better time in the future... It's just an open door after all.
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Hope that was okay :D Shift, basically described :D Love the song, btw <3
Featured in post: Lux, Raine, Shupple, and mentions of Mear and Xio
Time: Hours later after Lux comforted Shupple
~Anime-chan
