You’ve met a terrible fate haven’t you? Your curiosity got the better of you back in Pokemon Red. It was a gift to visit that mysterious field to the west of Pallet Town, and you overstayed your welcome. The mysterious trainer’s wrath was your reward, and now, you’ve been cursed. Every pokemon you’ve tried to trade has disappeared for good, your red version is now an island, standing alone, isolated forever.
Or is it?
One the very off-chance that you also chose Charmander as your starter and named it Miki, or more likely after restarting your game you did this as a joke, you may have come across an apparent loophole in your curse.
Your charizard dubbed “Miki” can indeed be traded to Silver version! Oh happy day, at least some reprieve! Though then again, nothing in life is ever free, you never just poof away your punishment. No no no, the mysterious trainer is not done with you.
Upon receiving your charizard, you’ll notice it is holding an item, strange huh? Item holding wasn’t introduced until the second generation. Not only that, this is no ordinary item either, it is simply labeled “NOTE”. Taking the item from you pokemon will result simply in a text box.
“Door’s open…”
What door? Where? Who sent this to you? What does this mean? Don’t worry your pretty little head, go of on your adventure, you have quite a quest ahead of you if you want to be a pokemon master!
What’s wrong? Curiosity got the best of you? Well then, I guess I shall divulge, being the only one to have figured it out it seem. After defeating every single gym leader and you’re rival, go back all the way to Bellsprout Tower.
Why Bellsprout Tower? Oh my you do have a short attention span. Remember that room at the top where you received HM05 Flash? Behind the man is a bell sprout image the size of a single square tile. You know, the size of a door. As long as the NOTE is in your inventory, the door will open for you, you can’t drop it anyway so no worries there.
When you enter the room, you find yourself on a single path, walking towards a small platform, all around it pure black. In the center of the platform is a trainer’s sprite, walk up and talk to him, buckle up, you’re in for a fight.
“Do you have her?”
You are given the YES/NO choice, but its not like you have a choice, the NO option is quite visibly absent. Next you will see another series of text.
The boy searches your pokemon, coming across your Charizard.
…
…
…
…
LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAR!
Then before you can blink, you will be thrown into a battle, the them of the final battle against your rival in red/blue meeting your delicate ears. However, it is not your childhood rival you see…
PokeMANIAC S!3v3n wants to battle!
This Pokemaniac is no geek dressed as a Pikachu, not some overzealous fan boy like the type you’re used to.
Maniac is too soft a term for this.
The sprite before you is a boy, standing straight up with unnatural posture, his long brown bangs obscuring most of his face, deep emerald eyes gazing through the amber locks at your trainer. The sprite will stay staring at you for a moment before finally tossing out his first pokemon, which will make up jump.
PokeMANIAC sent out M@#%!
You will be greeted by what appears to be a match made in hell. Before you stands the unholy mix of a Charizard and a MissingNo, its body covered in obscure markings, only half of its face is even there. It’s battle cry is that of the Hypnosis sound effect, it’s Level 100, afflicted with a status condition “DED”
“In a world that cheated me…why should I play fair?”
Be brave, send out your first pokemon and be ready for the slaughter. Unlike in Red version, your pokemon is not too busy crying to battle, though be choosey with your attacks, otherwise you will see the message “The attack went right through!”. The abomination of a pokemon that is your foe will retaliate with simple Scratch, which to your dismay, will KO your choice no matter how strong they are. If you’re lucky, you may witness this beast’s “HeLlFiRe” attack, which appears to be a mix of Hyper Beam, Flamethrower, Firespin, and Hypnosis animations all at once, unfortunately, your pokemon KO’d by this move will never be seen again…
That’s not to say this battle is hopeless, you simply need to know what to do. The instant the battle begins, be sure your starting pokemon knows the move Fire Blast. Select it and PRAY to attack first, and that it hits. Should you succeed, M@#% will faint in a single attack.
PokeMANIAC S!3v3n sent out @I#$
I hope you had a light lunch, because the next Charizard you face is even more distorted and pained than the previous one. Same procedure as before, but this time, make sure you land a Mega Kick. The atrocity will faint
…
PokeMANIAC St3v3n sent out !@K%
Hit it with Fly
You…
PokeMANIAC Stev3n sent out #@%I
End it with Toxic
…………………………………………………………
PokeMANIAC Steven defeated!
The trainer’s sprite will have changed, now looking down, as if struck with deep sorrow. The battle will end, and you will return to the tower. Steven will leave you with some rather disturbing parting words.
“I swear on my SOUL I will kill you….twothousandninehundredminuseighthundredninety…”
Steven will disappear, leaving an item in his wake. The item has no name, but giving it to a pokemon will make them nigh invincible…if you can stomach turning your beloved friends into…that. Also, do yourself a favor and purchase HeartGold when you plan to continue your pokemon adventures.
This is all assuming you happen to WIN the battle. What happens should you’re pokemon not be equipped for the battle, or if lady luck tells you to piss off and you miss all your attacks? Oh my, the end result is far less…pleasant.
S!3v3n knows when you’re screwed, should your victory be impossible, with each faint of your pokemon you will be treated with a disquieting promise.
“It will all end soon….I promise it will hurt.”
“Piece by piece you will fall…”
“I will bury your name…”
“You will be forgotten…”
And then finally on your last pokemon.
“DiEdiEDiEdIedieDIEDIEDIEDYING!”
When the battle ends, you will not black out, S!3v3n’s sprite returns to the screen, this time, those eyes are turned on you. The screen will return to that platform in Bellsprout Tower, although now, the path leading away has been swallowed by the abyss.
“Goodbye forever …”
The floor beneath your trainer sprite will suddenly disappear, and you will be treated to the Escape Rope animation, only you will descend instead of ascend. When the screen returns, you will be in a room you’ve never seen before in the tower, the pillar will not be moving, and there will be no music.
All you will have for pokemon is five Unowns and one very injured Cyndaquil…
