I'm so tired. . . I hate sounding whiny, but everyday is so exhausting, that I feel like I'm aging. I look in the mirror and see this ugly person who still hasn't gotten a degree, can't please my girlfriend in the right ways, and struggles that I have to spend 90% of my free time working at the hospital for no money. I think it'd just be so easy sleeping and never waking up but life isn't that gracious.
I feel mentally broken, I wish I could forget many things. I wish the other students didnt cheat so I wouldn't look like the only one who fails a comp. they have so many undocumented ones.
And I don't even know if I like radiography. I just want to see people happy- so my favorite thing to do is give patients warm blankets. Maybe that's the customer satisfaction side of me from dominos '_' I got cussed out the other day from a patient, and just eugh it's frustrating. It's one thing to forget their marinara sauce- completely another to move them in a position that hurts them. I do love reading the radiographs right after. I adore knowing every aspect of the bones. I can feel my shoulder and know what each bump is. That little bump under the acromial end of the clavicle medial to the humeral head? The coracoid process of the scapula. My favorite thing to look for on patients for a shoulder view. :D
But I need this job so I can save up for a baby. To have my girlfriends baby would make me the happiest person, and to provide for them without her working offshore would be amazing. To get this degree- I'd cry because I've shed so many tears and hardships already.
I'm so sorry I hardly have time for art. My anime evolution mascot entry made executives choice, so I'm happy about that, but I don't think ill even get to go cause clinicals. I won an art table so I hope that can still go to someone else :C and the gold pass. If anyone going to there is interested hit me up and ill send the pass to ya.
So ready for my two week vacation coming up |D~ spending it on making my lady happy!