A lot has happened within 5 weeks, a lot of distressing things, that for privacy I won't divulge here, and I've had the support of family and friends and for the most part I've been coping well, but every time I've been alone I've been at war with myself. I even started having chest pains, which confused me because I've been getting healthier ever since January losing weight and all that. Then, today after such a horrible day yesterday it finally happened I cried. I finally cried and I feel so much better now. Why didn't I cry? All trying to look happy all the time did was give me chest pains, why didn't I cry earlier? From now on, I won't bottle my emotions up anymore. I should have cried earlier...