First off, thanks to those who commented here. I don't really deserve much comments anymore do I? ^^; Well, I just want to update about what's going on now. Well, my grandmother is doing much better today I'm certain she will be able to leave the nursing home and therapy soon. Also I'm getting a kitten! It's this cute little black fluffy kitty and... she's so playful! I think I'll take pictures of her when I get her. On the outside I'm perfectly fine nothing bad is really going on even with my grandmother things are going well. But inside I feel so much confusion and... it's like a storm inside. Besides two disturbing dreams the second one featuring a person I thought that I moved on over, even after I found her sister on facebook last year I felt I could put everything to rest. But then I find her MOTHER, >< now everything comes flooding back and I'm so confused and I feel so much anxiety and everything is cloudy. It sure seems that the girl is doing fine I guess, don't know if she is in college herself but she is fine. I feel so anxious because I already talked to her sister and I don't know if also talking to her mother would make me look like a stalker. I want to forget her but I don't know what that would do to my psyche if I do, every time she is either in or symbolized in my nightmares and if I forget her I'm afraid that if I have a nightmare or even a good dream and she's in or symbolized in it, I won't know who that person is or who it's symbolizing and I may feel more pain. What do I do I'm in no physical duress but the psychological pain I'm in is so big. By the way it would make SO much more sense if I explain it, I'm not obsessed over her! Or at least I'm not obsessed in THAT way and not randomly so, if I explain it it would make sense I promise.