Every time i talk to her, i feel like I'm always going on circles; tracing the
same steps over and over again, never reaching the endpoint. Well, I
don't know where that endpoint is anyways.
I just keep on walking. Keep on walking until the time I find her. When that time comes, even though we're not walking on the same track, i could still walk beside her. With that, I don't care how many times i go around that circle of mine. I am alone but not really alone. I have her.
++++++++++++
On the spring of my second year, I met her. Uhh, it's not particularly met since I've seen her few times before in the hallways and cafeteria. It's like the distance between the two of us just shortened a bit. After all we're on the same class for that whole year. Besides that, she was just on the seat at my back.
For the first few months, I spent my time with my best friend Sora. We would take the afternoon to skate at the park, eat Sea Salt ice cream or just play video games ‘til late night. When we get tired of that routine, we would go fishing or call the other boys for a soccer match. We never cared about our grades. Everything we did was all about having fun. For us, it was a carefree and easy life and life made itself that way for our sake.
We were the happy-go-lucky spikies. Well, you could say the happy-go-lucky hotties too.
Until..
It all went smoothly until that day came, the very first time I was able to talk to her. Well, it's not like that I approached her out of the blue and started a sweet talk. It was some sort of accident. It just happened that we were assigned on the same group together with another two girls for a report.
Our group, however, wasn't just an ordinary group or maybe that other two girls weren't as ordinary as we were. The first one was Olette, the president of the school council. Though she was just a sophomore, she got the majority of the vote last school election and won the throne. She's funny, knows how to interact with others but serious at the same time. She has a great sense of responsibility and leadership. Olette was not my classmate until that second year. On the other hand, Kairi, was my classmate since third year junior high and was considered the most popular girl in the school with her shoulder length red hair and stunning beauty. I used to have a crush on her, really, but when I noticed that she got her eyes on Sora (who's completely oblivious of it), I stopped that feeling from growing into a more serious one. She's already off-limits, I reminded myself.
Finally, my eyes stopped and landed on her. That one who made me feel like I'm the dumbest person on Earth, the one who never once failed to make me go on circles with her out-of-the-world replies. She was Naminé. A girl with light blonde hair which she always keeps on the right side. A girl with red colored frame eyeglasses that hides her calming cerulean eyes. But what makes her stands out is her pale skin, making her look like some anemic girl. Thinking of how I could still remember every bit of Naminé, I felt like some stupid stalker.
Surrounded by those three girls, I didn't know what to do. Each of them was emitting strong but completely different auras. "Time's ticking.." I told myself.
"Uhh--"
"I wonder what topic is good enough to talk about.." Olette put in, looking from me to Naminé in a way as if she's examining us.
"Well---" I was cut off again. Sheesh.
She turned to Kairi. "What do you think?"
The auburn girl smiled to herself before answering. "Well, what about the latest fashion trends?" I flashed a grin at her. The usual Kairi..
"I knew you would say that.." Olette sighed. "But what we need is a more interesting one Kai.."
"It IS interesting, you know?" Kairi pouted. "The clothes, different accessories..."
"Whatever.."
"Olette!!"
I watched the two continued to argue but then remembered that there was still another group member. When I turned to her, I was surprised to see her gaze fixed on me with a stoic look. Startled, I looked away. However, I still felt her eyes on me so I peeked. This time, she was smiling widely at me. Was it just my imagination? I shook my head. But when I opened my eyes, I found her close to tears. W-What's with this girl? She's brainsick!!!
"Naminé, isn't it?" Thank God that Kairi was still there or else I would have turned mad.
"Yeah.." she retorted, her expression was back to normal. "That's the name.."
"So.. What topic do you think is good?"
"Uhm.." I stared at her as the look on her face turned dreamy with the question. Was she really thinking? Or was she just making a face once again?
"I want.. to be asked by Hiraki." Naminé said then turned to me. She looked serious, really.
"Huh? Hiraki?" Kairi and Olette exchanged surprised looks.
"Yeah.. Hiraki.."
For once, I felt quite insulted but at the same time, I wanted to laugh too. Now, I want to tell her how cute her expression was at that moment why calling me by that name. Hiraki, eh?
"You mean Hikari?" Olette asked. "It's Hikari, not Hiraki. Am I wrong Roxas?"
"Hikari. Roxas Hikari." I told Naminé. Her face screamed at me she didn't mind if she got my surname wrong though.
"I want you to ask me.." That was so straight of her. But because of that, cherries fell down from the sky and colored my cheeks. Damn.
With that, the two girls giggled quietly on the side. I threw them a look that might shut them up though as expected, I was not successful.
"Uhmm.. Naminé, if you don't mind me asking..." Kairi caught her attention and she turned to the red-haired girl's direction.
"What?"
"Do you like.. Roxas?"
"Kairi!!! What's with that question?" I shot at her but she continued to giggle in return. More cherries fell down. It's like a rain of them. They all hit my face.
"Aw.. You look cute Roxas.." Olette teased. I didn't know what to do anymore. I couldn't even bring my face up at Naminé's level. And why I was feeling such way?
It's the very first time I got teased. I got teased to a girl. And I got teased to a weird, sick girl named Naminé.
"No.."
The three of us stopped and whirled our heads at her. "Huh?"
"I said no, " Naminé repeated and that calmed me down. "It's just that he really wanted to talk but he couldn't so I’m giving him a chance to be able to ask someone.."
"EHH?" my jaws dropped with her answer. Good thing our teacher wasn't in the room that time. "I-It's not really like that--"
"It's not really like that but it really is," she interrupted. "Even without this eyeglass you're easy to read. Your face gives too much expressions.."
That was true. Everything she said was true. I even thought she's a seer that time.
"Now that you mentioned it, Roxas is like that!" Kairi agreed.
"Always overreacting. Haha.." Olette added.
"HEY!! Thank you so much for such a good compliment.." I pouted, crossing my arms.
"Oi! Rox! Don't get too star struck with the girls on your group!! Hehe.." Sora shouted from the corner.
"Shut up!!"
"Aren't you... asking me?" There's something in Naminé's voice that made me turned to her at once. It's as if she really wanted me to ask her rather than just volunteering herself. Or was it just me?
"Roxas.." Kairi disrupted my thoughts.
"Uhh.. yeah.." I nodded. Naminé was looking straight at me when I faced her. I never felt so much unconfident in my whole life. SHE made me feel that way. "So.. What topic.. should we... discuss for the report?"
"What topic should we discuss for the report?" she repeated and threw the question back to me.
"E-Eh?" I didn't know what's going inside that head of hers. I knew, too, that my facial expression at that moment was-- clueless. Totally clueless. She had read it.
"I'll only answer if you answer first.." she explained. I looked at Kairi and Olette desperately but they only shrugged their shoulders. Damn, damn. This girl is too demanding.
"Time's ticking.." she smiled at me, pointing at the wall clock.
"Uhh.." I paused to think. I paused just to feel more pressured. " I think.. we should have.. you know.. a topic that would be interesting like Olette said. A topic that anyone can relate to.."
I raised a brow when I saw her nodding. "That's what I think too.."
"E-Eh? Eh?" I muttered hopelessly. I didn't know what to say, to do, to act anymore. She was far, far way to be understand by a normal person. I'm just a normal one.
"We have an answer," I saw her turned and said to the other two girls. "You heard it?"
"Yeah.." Olette replied. "A topic that's interesting enough and which anyone can relate to, right?"
"Uh-huh.."
"Then why don't we just talk about politics and government?"
Kairi and I exchanged desperate looks. "BOORRIING!!"
"Good enough.." I heard Naminé whispered, small smile playing on her lips.
"It's decided then.." Olette grinned, grabbing some pen and paper from under her desk.
++++++++++++++
I remembered all of this in an instant. Looking from a distance, I noticed that her face, too, gave too many expressions. Yet, I wasn't able neither to read what she was thinking nor to know what she was really feeling. Maybe that's one major difference of boys from girls. Our brains are not just destined to think like that. But I want to understand her. I want to understand more of her. More, more, and more. Time didn't let me though.
Time is my enemy but it is not. If you'll treat it as an enemy, then it will be. If you'll treat it not, it doesn't really mean it is your friend. Time is my enemy..
Time was. Time is.
