**Things I Will Not Do In Hueco Mundo**
I will not assist Lilinette in waking up Stark.
I will not tell blonde jokes to Halibel
I will not call Ulquiorra "Ukelala," "Ulqui-chan," or anything but Ulquiorra or Ulquiorra-sama. Or maybe Ulquiorra-kun or -dono if he doesn't seem to be in a killing mood. X3
I will not call Grimmjow "Kittycar" unless I feel like getting killed
I will not ask Gin if he's a sadist.
I will not give Aizen a Death Note.
I will not give Gin a Death Note.
I will not give Ulquiorra a Death Note because he's emo
I will not insist that Grimmjow is jealous of Ulquiorra's passionate female fanbase, pretty hair, gorgeous green eyes, and... we know the rest.
I will not tell blind jokes to Kaname
I will not call Nnoitra "Zaraki."
I will not call Grim an understudy.
I will not give Wonderwice a foil hat - even if he looks adorable in it.
I will not put happy pills in Nnoitra's food. Or Ulquiorra's. ;3
I will not walk past Ulquiorra and sing, "TRASH! Ah-ah!"
I will not call Grimmjow a cat
I will not insist Nnoitra's spoon is too big.
I will not tell everyone that D-Roy's last name is Jenkins.
I will not point and yell "KITTY!" in a high-pitched voice whenever I see Grimmjow or Ulquiorra.
I will not put Tesla into Luppi's clothing or Luppi into Tesla's just so that I can call him Spiderpig.
If Tesla is injured in a fight, I will not stand over him saying, "WHYYYY? WHY, MY PIGGY?!" or "That'll do, pig. That'll do." Both are Nnoitra's job. ;3
I will not steal anyone's zanpaku-to and pretend to release it while yelling, "I have the POWERRR!"
I will not call the Grantz brothers Fred and George. At least until I decide which is which.
Also, Grimmjow is not Harry and Luppi is not Draco.
I will also not call either Ilfort or Tesla Cedric. Again, at least until I pick one.
It's atrociously evil to fill Szayel's shampoo with black dye.
Whenever Grimmjow and Ulquiorra argue, I will resist the urge to yell, "CATFIGHT!"
I will not hum the Jaws theme whenever D-Roy comes near.
I will not walk past Grim or his posse and sing anything from Grease.
I will not start rhythmically snapping my fingers whenever I see Grim and his posse.
I will not force Grimmjow into shinigami robes and call him the Grim Reaper.
I will not refer to "lions and jaguars/tigers and boars, oh my!"
I will never ask Kaname to "look at this!"
I will not yell "zap!" every time a cero blast goes off.
I will not yell "Trash!" every time Ulquiorra kills someone
I will not jump on Ilfort from behind and see how long I can stay on his back without being thrown off. Especially if I throw one hand in the air and yell, "WHEE!"
I will not invite over Ichigo Kurosaki and say he wanted to join the Hollow forces... actually, that might help us.
I will not play Grimmjow's video games. I can steal them, if I want to die.
I will not pet Grim.
I will not pet Ulquiorra.
I will not pet Gin.
I will not sneak up behind Aaroniero in the middle of the night and and sing, "The sun'll come out tomorrow!"
Nor will I offer to follow him around with a parasol.
Nnoitra is not two midgets in a costume.
I will also not force Ulquiorra to sing caramell dancen song AND dance to it
I will not give Nnoitra the lyrics to Short People.
I will not call Zommari "pumpkin."
I will not force Aaron-sama into a beauty contest, regardless of his face-shifting abilities.
In the middle of a very serious meeting, I will not jump up and yell, "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"
I will not refer to Nnoitra as a masochist.
Making any references to Mayuri Kurotsuchi around Szayel is just wrong.
For that matter, it's also wrong to mention Kenpachi Zaraki around Nnoitra and/or Tesla.
I will not say that Wonderwice is retarded.
I will not interrupt practice fights involving Nnoitra and/or Tesla saying, "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye - and some of us can't afford that!"
Grimmjow's zanpaku-to command is not hilarious.
I will not steal Grimmjow's zanpaku-to and hold it to my ear hoping to hear some Southern metal.
I will not hold up a picture of a fox over Gin's head.
Neither will I ask him if he'd like "a Gin and tonic".
I will not give Ulquiorra yarn for a present, unless I would like to find myself tied to some inanimate object, or a large person.
I will not give Grimmjow yarn either, unless I like having my face horribly mutilated.
I will not sprinkle catnip around Las Noches. The results would be disastrous.
I will not follow Loly around singing, "Lollipop, lollipop, oh lolly, lolly, lolly, lollipop..."
For that matter, I will not follow Loly around claming she's "going about it all wrong" or ask her what style she is. Just because her name corresponds does not means she is.
I will not give Lilinette Pixie Stix.
There is no Mamma Mia-esque situation going around in Las Noches, there never was, and there never will be.
I will not force Ilfort into a black jacket, a red jacket over that, and a silver angular-swirl-shaped pendant and tell him to rock out with me.
I will not make fun of anyone carrying a plushie.
I will not try to convince anyone that Ulquiorra's actually a vampire and preys on unsuspecting arrancar.
I will not try to convince Szayel that Mayuri is the Joker.
I will not hover over Szayel's shoulder while he does whatever it is he happens to be doing in his lab while interjecting "Dr. Grantz.../Doctor.../Um, Doctor?/DOCTOR!" every now and then.
I will not piece together a slideshow featuring all the Espada dancing to the Macarena and somehow cause it to play for all to see at a massive meeting.
if you got most of these,congrads.i hope this post cheers anybody up who needs it and provides a laugh for everybody else these are jokes from bleach manga itself,pop culture,music etc. 
