Bonus: RadioPlay of Episode 1 {with differentiations from the script due to the fact it is for audio and also I have revised the story since making this RadioPlay.} Cast & Credits
Episode 1 : Reunion
[Kuwabara runs to a spot in a park near some trees carrying a basket, blanket, and other random objects.]
Kuwabara: YUKINA!!! I found the perfect spot!
[He bustles about setting things up while mumbling to himself.]
Kuwabara: Lets see here…have the blanket positioned like so…and a little more in the shade so Yukina won’t be burned by the sunlight…and the food can rest in the center…oh yum, these sandwiches are my favorite! …oh and I should probably set out the plates and forks…and for the salad…
[Hiei drops out of a tree silently behind Kuwabara, very annoyed with him.]
Hiei: Could you even NOW keep that incessant chatter to yourself?
Kuwabara: [jumps] Dah! Where did you come from Shorty?
Hiei: Hn, none of your business.
[Yukina walks up to them.]
Yukina: Oh hello Hiei.
Hiei: …Hello Yukina.
Kuwabara: [enthusiastically] Guess what my sweet? This section of the picnic blanket is on extra-soft grass and under the shade of the tree just for you!
Yukina: Oh thank you Kazuma. I just saw Yusuke and Kayko drive up, they should join us shortly.
Kuwabara: That’s great! This is going to be a perfect reunion of friends! Now if you want to make yourself comfortable…
[Kuwabara leads Yukina to sit on the blanket and sits besides her. He tries to start filling a plate with food.]
Yukina: Now Kazuma, we should wait for everyone else first!
Kuwabara: Oh of course [puts plate down and laughs] I just wanted to prepare your plate while we waited.
[Botan appears behind Kuwabara and covers his eyes.]
Botan: Guess who?!
Kuwabara: [screams] Who turned out the lights?
Yukina: [facing Botan with smile and closed eyes] Hello Botan!
Botan: [swing hands up] Bingo! Bingo! You win the prize!
Kuwabara: Ahem. [gloating] Of course I knew it was Botan the whole time, I just wanted to give Yukina a chance!
[Yusuke and Kayko, carrying a baby, come through the park and join the others.]
Yusuke: Ah! This is so much better than that stupid nature hike up to the temple! Hey guys! What’s up? Whoa, Hiei, I didn’t think you’d be able to make it!
Hiei: Hn.
Yusuke: Fine if you don’t want to drop the tough-guy act, but you’re missing out!
Hiei: Whatever.
[Hiei walks over to a tree, sits against it and closes his eyes.]
Botan: Oh don’t mind him. I think he just got up on the wrong side of the bed! [sits by Yukina]
[Kayko sits on the blanket with the child and Kuwabara points to it.]
Kuwabara: Who’s the little rug rat?
Yusuke: [sitting by Kayko] Oh Kazuki? He’s my little boy!
Kayko: You mean OUR little boy!
Yusuke: [sweatdrop] …uh…heh…right…
Kuwabara: HAHA! Are you joking? YOU a DADDY?!
[Kuwabara imagines Yusuke taking care of a baby: Yusuke rocking in a chair holding the baby, who starts crying so Yusuke starts rocking faster till the chair falls forward; Yusuke puts hot tap water and formula in a bottle and shoves it in baby’s mouth without shaking it, baby refuses to eat so Yusuke forcefully pushes bottle into baby’s throat; Yusuke tries to change a diaper, baby squirms, cloud covers struggle then clears to reveal Yusuke smiling proudly while baby sits with diaper over head.]
Yusuke: Yeah, ok, you can stop laughing now.
Kuwabara: [stifling laughter] Sorry. Hey, why didn’t you send out announcements or something?
Hiei: [eyes still closed, sneering] Oh I can think of a reason or two.
[Kuwabara starts to fume. Kurama approaches everyone, hands in pockets]
Botan: [waving] Hi Kurama! We’re over here!
Kurama: Good afternoon everyone.
Yusuke: Hey Kurama! Pull up a seat, there’s plenty of food!
Kuwabara: Welcome Kurama! Its good to see you again!
Kurama: [sitting] Thank you. Yes, it is good to see all of you too.
Yusuke: So where’s the old hag’s pipsqueak?
Kayko: [fuming] YUSUKE! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT NAME CALLING?
Yusuke: Sorry Kayko, I didn’t mean any harm.
Kurama: Midori couldn’t come, she is working right now.
Hiei: That is unfortunate; I had hoped to meet the person who stole the heart of The Makai’s greatest thief.
Kurama: I’m sorry; I forgot you were not at Genkai’s funeral. If you plan to stay long, perhaps you can come and visit…
Kuwabara: Hey I’m starved! We’re all here now, so can we dish up already?
Yukina: Very well Kazuma.
Kuwabara: Oh boy! And what would you like on your plate, my sweet?
Kurama: IS everyone here? It seems a few familiar faces are lacking in our company.
Kuwabara: Well Shizuru had an important job interview today, [hands Yukina a plate of food] she couldn’t miss it! [Starts to prepare own plate]
Yusuke: Are you sure? Or did you just forget to tell her?
Kuwabara: Uh…
Botan: Koenma is currently preoccupied sorting out some cases.
Yusuke: And I thought ol’ Pacifier-Breath was being held up for a diaper change!
Kayko: [warningly] Yusuke?
Yusuke: [sweatdrop] hehheh, sorry.
Kurama: Not only is Koenma busy in Spirit World, but since your discharge as Spirit Detective, he is not to interact with us.
Yusuke: Yeah, I know. The next time I see him is when my time comes. [looks slyly towards Botan] Which doesn’t explain why a little curious kitten came…
Botan: [sweatdrop then meows] Because you guys are so much fun and I haven’t had a vacation in over 100 years.
Kurama: It’s good that you could come still. Midori will be sad to know she missed you.
Yusuke: Well if she wanted to see us so badly she could have called in sick or something. I mean, doesn’t she like us anymore?
Kurama: She does, however, she can’t afford anymore time off since she will be quitting soon.
Yusuke: That doesn’t make any sense. Why would she be quitting and not take an extra day off?
Kurama: Well…we’re going to have a baby. blushes
Kuwabara: [food in mouth] What? You too?
[Kuwabara starts to imagine Kurama taking care of a baby: Kurama sitting with baby in rocking chair, looking very motherly, when baby cries, Kurama uses Rose Whip to grab an already prepared bottle of formula; thorns from the whip shatters the bottle, spilling milk all over Kurama and the baby, Kurama looks soaked and unhappy while baby points, cooing.]
Yusuke: [throws arm over Kurama’s shoulders] You old fox, why didn’t you send announcements or something?
Kurama: [still blushing] We only recently found out.
Kayko: Still, congratulations nonetheless.
Yukina: Yes that is wonderful news.
Hiei: As charming as this get-together is, [He rises from where he sat under the tree, stretches briefly and starts to walk away] I’m departing now.
Yusuke: You sure? We haven’t even started on the dessert yet.
Hiei: [pauses] All the better for me then. [walks off into the nearby forest]
Yusuke: Huh, doesn’t look like he’s changed much.
***COMMERCIAL BREAK***
[The gang is done eating and now relaxing. Close up on Kazuki, Kayko is holding him up encouraging him to walk.]
Yusuke: Come on Short-stuff! Come to papa!
Kuwabara: Nah! Don’t listen to your mean old daddy, you want to come to Uncle Bar-ey, right?
Yusuke: Uncle Bar-ey??? What kind of name is that?
Kuwabara: One that he can pronounce!
Kazuki: Bababa!
Kuwabara: See?
Kurama: He seems to be developing quite healthily.
Kayko: Yes, he’ll probably be just like his father for better or for worse.
Yusuke: Hey! I resent that remark!
Kuwabara: Don’t you mean resemble?
Kurama: [chuckles] And how has Genkai’s temple been, Yukina?
Yukina: Very nice. The flower garden just started to bloom.
Kurama: That’s magnificent! Midori will be glad to hear it.
Yusuke: So Botan? Does Koenma got you running with spirit detectives or pulling the grim reaper gig still?
Botan: As much as I liked that job, my position got filled so I’m complete assistant now.
[Suddenly Kurama’s eyes narrow, so does Kuwabara’s and Yusuke’s. They stand up and face the forest.]
Yusuke: You guys feel that?
Kuwabara: The strong energy? Yeah, its making my head spin.
Kurama: Something foul is underfoot.
[Birds fly towards them from the trees.]
Yusuke: More like something fowl is overhead…
Kayko: You guys don’t suppose Hiei could be up to something? He did go that way.
Kuwabara: I wouldn’t put it past the half-pint, but I don’t think so.
Yusuke: Kayko, I want you, Yukina, and Botan to go to the car.
Kayko: Okay, please be careful.
[Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama run into the forest. They dart through the trees and see a clearing up ahead. The ground shakes them to their knees, but they get up and keep heading towards the source. They again stumble as the ground shakes. Finally they reach the clearing and see standing in the center a young woman with straggly hair.]
Yusuke: Hey what gives?
Woman: [turns to face them] Oh don’t mind me, I was only having a little bit of fun.
Yusuke: Yeah well, news flash lady, you’re disturbing the peace!
Woman: I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize… [exerts energy into a stomp that shakes the ground] …you find that bothersome? [smirks]
Kurama: Yes, will you please stop?
Woman: scoffs And what if I don’t?
Yusuke: Then I’m gonna hafta rearrange that smug face of yours!
Woman: You dare hit a lady? [shakes ground again]
Yusuke: Trust me, I find no problem in that!
[The woman stomps with both feet, ground shakes hard enough to lay Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama flat.]
Woman: I’d like to see you try.
[Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama stand up.]
Yusuke: [smug] You obviously are not a normal human. Guess what, I’ll let you in on a little secret…
[The woman stomps again, but this time they all are able to stand firm.]
Yusuke: …neither are we!
Woman: [looks in shock then smiles half heartedly] Oh my! The three little pigs have come to pick on the big bad wolf! What’s a girl to do?
Yusuke: I suggest stop your huffing and puffing and start running weeweewee all the way home!
Kurama: Careful Yusuke, we are still unsure of all her capabilities.
Yusuke: [turns to look at Kurama] Oh like she can really be that…
[Slurping noise as rustic substance emerges from ground and envelops the woman like a tulip. Yusuke turns head in shock as the substance returns to the ground.]
Yusuke: [voice cracks] …tough? [Faces Kurama again] KURAMA! You didn’t even let me punch once!
Kuwabara: I’ve seen you pop out some pretty nasty plants Kurama, but this one takes the cake!
Kurama: [shocked] But…it wasn’t me.
Woman’s voice: Now you’ve sparked my interest, perhaps I’ll stay after all…
[Woman’s voice echoes from all sides. The rustic substance that surrounded the woman slips back into the ground. Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama stand prepared in the center of the clearing, backs towards each other.]
Yusuke: Glad you could stay for the party, I wasn’t expecting you to really run when I told you too.
Woman’s voice: tsk tsk, You shouldn’t say things you don’t mean, it’s rude!
Yusuke: Well excuse me, I suppose I shouldn’t be asking your age and weight either.
Kuwabara: Hey! If you’re going to stick around, how about showing yourself?
Woman’s voice: But this way is sooo much more amusi… [swoosh] …ugh!
Yusuke: What the?
[Following a kicking sound effect, a tall, plump, oozy-brown monster flies out from a tree, crashing in front of Yusuke. Hiei gracefully drops from the same tree and walks towards everyone.]
Hiei: Here is your ‘lady.’
Yusuke: I suppose we should be grateful for that.
Hiei: She has been causing many disturbances in the human world. I’ll take her back to Demon World now. [approaches the monster]
Monster: Not so fast! [slowly gets up] I still have business here.
Hiei: pulls out Katana and holds it to her throat Well, I’ll finish it for you quickly.
Yusuke: [places hand on Hiei’s shoulder] Allow me Hiei, I could use a good fight.
Hiei: [sheaths katana and backs up] Very well.
Kuwabara: That’s unusually generous of you.
Hiei: On the contrary, I know little more about her than you. [slight shrug] If Yusuke wants to run headlong into the unknown without thinking he can be my guest.
Monster: But he’s not the one I wish to fight!
Yusuke: Well too bad for you then! You stuck around so I’m the one you’re gonna fight. [takes fighting stance]
Monster: I do not wish to waste my time on you, pest!
Yusuke: Tell ya what, [gestures for her to come fight him] if you can get through me, I’ll let you take it up with them!
Monster: [sarcastically] Oh you’re sooooo generous.
[Yusuke starts to power up and the monster takes a fighting stance. Both have determined looks on their faces. Freeze frame to end episode.]
“Hey everyone! It’s Yusuke back and ready for action! Life has been getting kind of boring the past few years so I hope this muddy demon lady is worth my time. And what do you know? She does have a good move up her sleeve…literally! Apparently she’s the reason Hiei came to visit but why is she here in the first place? I mean if she doesn’t want to fight me then who else could she be looking for here? Find out next time on YuYu Hakusho Beyond!”
