Hi I'm Dranzerstorm
You may remember me as a regular contestant on the caption battle contest.
Welcome to Retro Retrospective, my world dedicated to the old guard of the Otaku world; expect some reviews of the old & obscure, and in-depth geeky knowledge with the occasional top ten and I now have a logo.
Little info about me
Well I'm British and I'm in to all things animated and nostalgia.
I've grown up with every cartoon going and have watched hundreds of anime.
Oh and to answer a question I was asked once, no I don't wear glasses in real life, I would wear Loke's sunglasses though.
Back a bit earlier than anticipated mainly because this review was done quicker than expected. Enjoy the Jubei-Chan review.
300 years ago Yagyu Jubei defeated his rival Taiko Dayu and become the best swordsman in the land, on his deathbed Jubei gives his servant Koinosuke a heart shaped “lovely” eyepatch to give to a successor, his last few words were something in the line of Bonnie Boom Boom. 300 years later we meet Jiyu a normal girl who lives with her father Sai who is starting at a new school which apparently has a convenient bamboo forest on the route where characters frequently get lost. Jiyu meets Shiro, another attendee of the school and quite proud of his Kendo achievements, we also meet a trio of delinquents who refer to themselves as the unrefined; they are Bantarou and his monkey like sidekicks Oozaru & Kozaru who sprout nothing but exposition throughout the series.
Koinosuke finds Jiyu and thinks she is the successor to Yagyu Jubei, thinking that the last words of his master referred to a large breasted girl, in fact Jiyu’s breasts seem to attract everyone in this series but by anime standards they are normal size.
Understandably Jiyu refuses and spends over half the series getting rid of the eyepatch until an assassin from a clan called the Ryuujouji attacks everyone forcing Jiyu to become Yagyu Jubei II, or as I call her, Jiyu’s scary samurai form, where she receives all of Jubei’s skills and swordplay in some of the most impressive sword battles I’ve seen for a long time, remember this predates Bleach by a long time. The formula stays the same for ten episodes until the climax in the last three episodes, but I won’t spoil anything today.
It promotes itself as an action comedy but the comedy falls flat quite frequently, with poor comic timing and serious scenes where there really doesn’t need someone making a joke at the moment. Another gag is the constant shifts in art styles to emphasize how important or how unimportant certain characters are which really isn’t needed.
My other issue with the series is the dubbing, the English dub is emotionless and lousy, out of the whole cast only four & a half actors actually tried, the unrefined trio, Ninja lady Mikage and Scary Samurai Jiyu actually put any effort in, I say half because Scary Jiyu & normal Jiyu are the same actress, it’s like when she transforms, the actor suddenly gets better as well which isn’t exactly professional is it? The script isn’t exactly stellar either as the dub cast constantly exhaust their vocal cords saying “lovely eyepatch” & “Ryuujouji” about five times an episode.
The action does redeem some of the bad qualities and the actual story is pretty good but so many things let it down that it’s a shame, there’s even a satisfying conclusion as well, or it would be if not for the Second Season release.
But there is one element of this series, where it cannot be easily beaten and that’s music; if you think it sounds like Naruto then you’d be right as composer Toshio Masuda was the composer for the first part of Naruto and Jubei-Chan was one of his first works.
Final Verdict: It’s a decent action series, with great music & story but is let down by poor comedy and emotionless dub acting. It’s worth brushing over if only to prepare yourself for the serious quality upgrade of season 2, and if you enjoy Shonen Jump battles, then you haven’t seen anything until you witness some of the battles in Jubei-Chan 2.
Here are the latest on current projects in all three Worlds.
Retro Retrospective Anime Reviews
Rune Soldier: Working on
Creamy Mami: Working on
Jubei-Chan: Will be done at the weekend
Tiger & Bunny: Coming soon
Irresponsible Captain Tylor: Coming soon
Cartoon Vault
Shuriken School: Coming soon
Xiaolin Showdown: Coming soon
Galaxy High: Coming soon
Winx Club: Working on
Specials
Dirty Pair Week: Delayed due to extensive editing, will be posted sometime in the autumn
Nicktoons Month: In planning stages
Sailor Moon Week: May coincide with the release of the remake
Pokemon Week: Posted on the same week as X&Ys release
Top Tens
Top Ten Best & Worst Pokemon: Planned
Top Ten Best Sailor Moon Characters: Planned
Other Top Ten Lists: I usually come up with most of them last minute so don’t expect anymore planned ones.
Retiring
Big Bang Feature: Not enough time to write them and are better suited to specials
Urban Legends: Same problem, better suited for specials
Walk of Fame
Trope Killers: Will finish by the end of the week
International: All cartoons in Japan are classed as Anime so the next theme is International Greats.
Special Weeks: Pokemon & Sailor Moon weeks will have five entries each
Victory Script
Behind the Anime Pokemon: More chapters will appear the closer we get to Pokemon Week; one chapter is in editing at the moment.
Ballard of Goldena Moonlight: Act 1 is complete as of today and will take a break.
Anime Ads: I may have to scrap this idea, it seemed okay in hindsight.
Brand New for this Autumn & Winter Short Stories Season
Replacing Ballard of Goldena Moonlight for a couple of months will be short stories, based on the many new characters within the extended universe, if any turn out to be popular I shall write full stories for them, the first one is already out. Cartridge Diaries
The promised video game review segment will start with Sonic the Hedgehog. Walk of Fame Requests
Walk of Fame requests are open, either comment in this entry or PM me and I’ll see what I can do, this will be active until the end of the year. Saved from Scrap
This feature challenges me to try and save the world’s worst cartoons & anime in existence from the scrap heap, like the Walk of Fame requests, either comment on this entry or PM me with ideas you’d like me to do, you can even try and challenge me to save something I really hate.
And Now for Some Rest
I’m a little overworked right now so I’ll be taking the next couple of days off, but I’ll be back at the weekend, as usual in this situation I’ll answer any posts and messages in the meantime.
As a result of a comment in the last top ten, I now present to you the Cartoon Vault entry Kung-Fu Dino Posse, sadly made by we British.
Now let me tell you how British Cartoon Channels work; we borrow Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon & Disney along with the remnants that used to be Fox Kids and we take the content from them into three of our main channels.
Most of our homegrown stuff is put into our pre-school shows like Peppa Pig which I believe is now airing in America, but when it comes to main stream cartoon making, selling to our main channels is non existent and our best works like Amazing World of Gumball get sold to Cartoon Network.
What we have left are attempts like this.
This is the biggest most shameless ripoff of the Ninja Turtles I've ever seen. We have four dinosaurs in Kung-Fu gear; Kane the T-Rex, Lucy the Triceratops, Jet the Pteranodon & Chow the Stegosaurus. The idiot human in the picture is Edgar, a reluctant human helper character 15 years out of his comfort zone who conveniently designed all the weapons at the best possible time.
The villains this time are two raptors named Skor & Skrap, one is obviously confident the other is plain stupid.
Unlike the Turtles who can disguise themselves with trench coats the Dino Posse make no effort to hide their appearance as the best they can come up with are old school rap clothing from the 90s.
The whole plot revolves around mystic gems that when shot by a device the villain somehow has can turn the nearest object or person into a giant rampaging Dinosaur, and this is where it gets silly. Here is a list of some of the dinosaurs we see.
A Granny Dinosaur
A Rapstar Dinosaur
A Pickle Dinosaur
A Beauty Queen Dinosaur
A Skater Dinosaur
A Clown Dinosaur
You get the idea, it's utterly stupid. When things get out of hand the four main characters fuse into a giant dinosaur made of qualities of each species, so they ripoff Power Rangers as well, why not. After the Dino of the week is beaten they turn the big dino into a fossil and end the episode.
Production values seem to be a bit mixed, you can tell which episodes had someone off sick in the production team. There are parts where the episode slows down for no reason, some sounds seem to be missing and Kane's voice actor goes in and out of colds a little too frequently, plus some of the stock footage seems to randomly appear, other than that when they make the effort you can see the effort and for a series made on such shameless values that's not a bad achievement.
What do I think? It's not terrible, and with 60 episodes under it's belt has lasted longer than expected, it's a little out of date to try ripping off Ninja Turtles now but the benefits of doing it means that no one else is stupid enough to try it so you have no competition and being British made means it still gets an audience in it's country of origin, that's how Winx Club can keep making shows in it's native Italy despite not nearly getting the same treatment Stateside.
Episodes of Kung-Fu Dino Posse are easy to find on Youtube, see for yourself the power of crappy British cartoons.
Ever since the creation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in 1984, there have been challengers to the crown ever since in every attempt to try and win with the very same formula they created, here are the ten most shameless attempts. The rules are any animation counts, anthropomorphic animal shows only and they must follow the same formula as TMNT; I'll also be listing the year of each entry, So lets begin.
Honorable Mention: Butt Ugly Martians - 2001
This one only missed the list because of the animal rule but is still a shameless ripoff nonetheless. It's a CGI cartoon about aliens who fight with power suits, despite the title, I can't really call the martians butt ugly, the attempt was to capitalize on the popular space trend that came briefly with the new millennium hype but came far too late for it to eat up any popularity.
10. Road Rovers - 1996
A group of dogs transformed into anthro canine superheroes to fight evil, it's kind of a Justice League for dogs as each canine is a world leader's pet. The team is one big 90s cliche and doesn't evolve beyond that.
9. Wild West COWboys of Moo Mesa - 1992
By divine powers of a convenient meteor, a bunch of cattle in late 19th century west become anthro cows and start playing the Wild West, apart from the fact that it plays on every cow related word possible, it was decent enough to watch and was early enough to still be fashionable for the period.
8. Loonatics Unleashed - 2005
I've mentioned this one before and I don't think highly of it, it's the only one on this list to have multiple animals rather than just one, but despite having a Looney Tunes label there are no Looney Tunes to be found, a misguided attempt by Warner Bros to try the pseudo anime craze and realizing that you need more than just the art style to succeed.
7. Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go - 2004
A very ambitious project about a team of cyborg monkeys and their human friend fighting the evil Skeleton King. It was a lot better than a number of other attempts and the villain truly looks frightening but the series is ruined by the fact that it has the Worlds Worst designed Robot ever, seriously they had the Japanese on board for this one and that's the best robot they can come up with.
6. Battletoads - 1992
This is the only direct challenger the Ninja Turtles ever got, better known for their ridiculously hard video games but largely outclassed in every field within the genre with the exception of maybe a better villain, okay not much better but at least they tried something different with that one.
5. Mighty Ducks - 1996
Disney formed an ice hockey team in 1993 and tried to make a cartoon out of it's mascot which is about an intergalactic team of ducks who just happen to play Ice Hockey. Funny thing is that the real life team didn't win the Stanley Cup until after Disney sold it. Disney are normally good with ducks but not this time around.
4. Biker Mice From Mars - 1993 & 2006
The only Ninja Turtle clone who managed a remake and the only series to be reasonably popular and the only series to keep it's original voice cast in it's remake. But still shameless nonetheless, these days the Biker Mice are slash fiction worthy.
3. Street Sharks - 1994
This series didn't even try to be subtle, it's whole intent was to make a franchise that could compete with the Ninja Turtles but with not much to go on other than sharp teeth it never really caught on.
2. Samurai Pizza Cats - 1990
To be fair, the popularity this series had wasn't their fault. In Japan it was a straight up animal anime about Samurai Cats, a few gags here and there but nothing that passes for a spoof. When it was dubbed however, there was lack of proper translations, and what they had to work with was far less than anticipated so they played it as a Ninja Turtles spoof with writing similar to the Animaniacs and ended up becoming more popular as a spoof than the original going as far as the original creators admitting it worked better as a spoof.
1. Kung-Fu Dino Posse - 2009
But we British have done it again, we actually successfully made something so shameless to the Ninja Turtles that it's hard to believe it even exists. There were more Dinosaur related shows like this one such as Extreme Dinosaurs & Dinosaucers but this series is the ultimate in shameless entertainment, if you wish for me to place this one in the cartoon vault if only to know what the hell this series is, then please comment.
I’ve not done this feature for a while, mainly because research for these either take a long time or there isn’t enough material for a full feature, today we review all the small legends that won’t be making full features but should be spoken about.
Toy Story Legends
Concept designs for CGI cowboy Woody originally depict him as being selfish and a complete jerkass, it never made it beyond that.
In another legend before the actual Toy Story 3 came out, the original storyline would’ve been Buzz Lightyear being recalled by the company that made him and the other toys retrieving him from the factory.
Japan Did It First
Staying with Pixar, they can’t take credit for first ever use of CGI, that honor goes to Japanese anime classic Golgo 13: the Professional dated 1983 before Pixar released its first ever short films.
Johnny Bravo & The Twin Towers
An infamous still shot in a Johnny Bravo cartoon aired five months before 9/11 depicts a movie poster with the words “Coming Soon” written above a skyscraper on fire.
Conspiracy theorists believe it to be a deadly premonition but I think it’s only a coincidence; a movie called “Towering Inferno” about a skyscraper on fire is often referenced in American cartoons, sitcoms and comedies, also I don’t give the creator that much credit, after all saying that a cartoon about a dumb blonde strongman who speaks like Elvis predicted a major terrorist attack is like saying a Breakfast Cereal predicted the Rapture.
Creator’s Rights Win
During the production of Sci-Fi Cartoon Oban Star Racers, executives & promoters pushed the creator to create a male protagonist instead of using a female one. The creator was not impressed and not only did he keep his original design, he even created his own company to make sure no one interfered. This became an in-house joke with original pilot Rick Thunderbolt being replaced by Molly very early on and being written out of the show completely.
Batman Can Sing
WB Kids have some funny ways of advertising it’s shows, a promotional shot for Pokemon involved Batman singing the Jigglypuff Lullaby Song, made even funnier as he tries to maintain his serious face throughout, seriously check it out.
Story of Little Black Sambo & Mr Popo
As racist as Mr Popo looks, his design actually has an origin from a late 19th Century Children’s book called Little Black Sambo. It’s a strange story about a South Indian child who gives up his colorful clothes to tigers to avoid being eaten, the tigers argued & chased each other until they ended up as pools of butter, which Sambo’s mother decides to use to make pancakes, yes it’s that bizarre. Sambo’s design is of a black child with huge red lips similar to the way Mr Popo is designed, so Popo isn’t racist he’s paying homage to a storybook character & Little Black Sambo is ridiculously popular in Japan, plus he gets bonus points for at least trying to look Indian. Also worth noting is the Pokemon Jynx who also pays homage but unconfirmed by its creators.
Subaru Makes an Anime
I’ve got one more Urban Legend to give but this one does need a post all to its self, and yes I am referring to the car company Subaru.
