After a small dose of writer’s block I’m back with a really juicy top ten, in fact I have a double feature this time with the top ten best & worst dub voice acting.
Before I begin these top ten lists are a judgement of voice acting & scripting not the full dub itself so I cannot use cuts & edits as an argument for poor dubbing nor can I use the excuse of the anime being bad. One of my dishonorable mentions will sum it up better. So now I start with the list of the ten worst dub voice acting.
Our voices shatter your speakers
Dishonorable Mentions
One Piece (4Kids): As bad as the dub was, most of the criticism aimed at the 4Kids One Piece dub was to do with the horrific cuts & editing, when your left without cuts the actors aren’t that bad at voicing the characters, and I’m probably the only person in the world who thinks a Brooklyn accent suits Sanji.
The Wallflower: This series doesn’t have a volume button, everyone shouts louder than a Dora the Explorer episode, but a great script managed to save it.
Virtua Fighter: Dub acting was pretty bad but then again so was the anime and I cannot use bad anime as an excuse.
10. Wedding Peach
Wedding Peach needed some tender loving care and it never got it, one decent lead voice but the other two leads don’t back it up well, especially Angel Daisy where she is a tough bruiser type girl with the voice of Velma on laughing gas; the script isn’t any better with inserted Americanisms that so plagued early ADV dubs.
9. Yumeria
A series where one word is mentioned so many times that the impact is lost before the series even begins. The trailer for Yumeria never helped them to begin with, it was like Love Hina but Keitaro is being punched every minute of the series rather than every ten minutes.
8. Sister Princess
The voices of the numerous female characters are creepy and in a series where it is such a big plot point to have an extended harem, I don’t feel comfortable watching it.
7. Disgaea
The anime had some of the most irritating voices I’ve ever heard. Now I don’t know how significant the verbal tic “Dood” is supposed to be in the franchise but I do know that I don’t want to hear it ever again.
6. Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal
I only watched two episodes of this series and I wanted to rip out my ears. Was the fallout with 4Kids so bad that they felt the need to punish us with such a horrible dub of Zexal? Seriously I used to give the 4Kids voices free passes because despite working for a company that destroys the integrity of anime, it was never the fault of the voice actors, they were just doing their job but even they must of thought that the acting they were doing in Zexal was terrible.
5. Jubei-Chan
I believe I mentioned this one in my review; Jubei-Chan has some of the most emotionless voice acting I’ve ever heard, the amount of scenes I went through which needed some emotion was many and only once did they get it right. It also felt as though all the actors were exhausting themselves with the long winded explanations they had to give.
4. Goldenboy
This is one of my favorite anime of all time but the dub is one big mistake, a character eager to learn in every job he does, who is also very intelligent, a bit of a pervert as well, but big-hearted and yet they give him the stupidest voice in dubbing history. To further emphasize this, his original voice in the Japanese is brilliant.
3. Street Fighter II Victory
This anime had two dub attempts to get it right and failed them both. The scripting is a mess, both voice casts were two dimensional in their performances and even those who did get it right never stayed any longer than one episode. I’ll say again, two attempts!
2. Any Anime ADR Directed or ADR Written by Gary Dehan
ADR stands for Automated Dialogue Replacement, and it’s up to the ADR Director to make sure the dubbing goes smoothly without any problems. Gary Dehan worked in the early ADV Films era and he lent his talents to a number of their earliest dubs.
But his list of work is the likes of the Tekken Movie, the Sonic Movie, Sakura Wars TV, Sakura Diaries, Legend of Crystania, City Hunter, Shuten Doji, Maps, Variable Geo & Ninja Resurrection and a few low grade anime; all of which are quite bad dubs and some are notoriously bad anime as well but even better shows like Queen Emeraldas & 801 T.T.S Airbats didn’t really do very well either. The problem is the casting wasn’t particularly good, the voice acting in many of them were either two dimensional or emotionless. ADV Films were lucky, they had strong links to Evangelion to keep them afloat but poor runs with low grade anime came back to bite them when they went down.
1. Needless
But Needless is the worst dub I’ve ever had the displeasure of listening to, the script writing was awful, the dialogue was vomit inducing and these are well known professional dub actors as well, with a full list of decent credits among them, a lot of them were also ADVFilm veterans around at their prime and many of the others are current first choice Funimation employees. There are only three decent voices in the whole series. Adam Blade was good, Disc was very well done & Kuchinashi who is a mute and only says two words in the entire series. It comes to something when a mute is the best character in the dub; the rest are either lazy, try too hard, don’t try enough, utterly irritating or plagued by a horrible script.
Not even some of the worst anime in existence can claim to have a worst dub than Needless.
Today it was announced that Tokyo will host the Olympic Summer games in 2020, but as with any host of these games, you need a mascot to promote it, so here are ten of the most popular characters in anime culture, we'll be seeing their pros, cons & odds and at the end you can either give your opinion on which one you would like to see or recommend one I haven't mentioned, so let us begin.
This is not a top 10 rather just a pick from 10 characters.
1. Doraemon
The time traveling robot cat is Japan's national cartoon and has more images in Japan than any other character and was already Tokyo's Olympic ambassador for the bid.
While he does have appeal in some countries it may shock you that Doraemon has never ever been translated into English and likely never will, taking away a sizable chuck out of it's international appeal.
Odds: 5-1
2. Totoro
Of all of Miyazaki's creations, Totoro is the most well known, with plenty of heritage behind the story, and a very appealing design.
But how do you adapt Totoro to sport? I can't see it personally.
Odds: 20-1
3. Anpanman
Another long running character in Japanese anime, Anpanman translates as Breadman, a superhero designed to fight off evil bacteria and always there to feed people his head when they need it the most.
While he promotes healthy eating and the importance of staying healthy he has practically no international appeal having gone no further than the Arab nations, India and the other oriental nations in it's international release.
Odds: 20-1
4. Pretty Cure
The long running magical girl series could easily adapt the colorful Olympic rings for a new series and give us a sports theme for it's series.
As much as people would disagree, Pretty Cure is still a girls anime and there's no guarantee that it will still be running in 2020.
Odds: 70-1
5. Son Goku
Son Goku of Dragonballz fame is no stranger to being in the spotlight and has been an ambassador for other things in Japan, and being a physically active hero has appeal.
But you have to wonder how much longer Akira Toriyama will be persuaded to keep lending out Goku for more adventures and in my opinion using him is a massive cliche.
Odds: 40-1
6. Monkey D Luffy
Vast becoming Goku's replacement as the head honcho of Shonen Jump, Monkey D Luffy has already got theme parks and restaurants in his anime's name and will likely still be around in 2020.
But there is a 100% guarantee you'll never hear the end of the flame wars if he gets in especially with Naruto & Goku as other Shonen Jump characters.
Odds: 70-1
7. Sazae-San
Sazae-San just recently became the world record holder for longest running animated series spanning a massive 45 years with the character itself being around for nearly 60 years, old enough to be around for Tokyo's last Olympic games.
Sazae-San is a Japan only product with no international appeal and while it does promote great family values, it has no other appeal to speak of and certainly not for an Olympic games, besides the mid 20s Sazae-San character looks like a Japanese Olive Oil from Popeye.
Odds: 45-1
8. Konata Izumi
Lucky Star's favorite Otaku Konata Izumi is a natural athlete in Lucky Star, making her the most qualified and with portable shrines to Lucky Star in Japan, there's no worry of not having enough appeal.
But is it really enough? With no new series of Lucky Star to work with and other candidates on this list having better heritage, it maybe too much of an outside bet.
Odds: 100-1
9. Pikachu
The electric yellow mouse has been a staple of the Pokemon universe since day one and has massive international appeal, more so than Japan's most popular animated characters.
But the big question remains, do we only use Pikachu or do we bring in the other Pokemon as well?
Odds: 10-1
10. Hatsune Miku
Olympic Miku has a nice ring to it, having already promoted motor racing teams, it would be the easiest transition to make for the virtual idol and is already fast gaining international appeal.
But Miku has never had her own show, whether that will change in the seven years between now and the games we'll just have to see.
Odds: 10-1
Bonus: Original character designed for the games.
It's the easiest thing to do for the creative Japanese, but with so many well made characters it would be a waste not to use them.
Odds: 2-1
Back a bit earlier than anticipated mainly because this review was done quicker than expected. Enjoy the Jubei-Chan review.
300 years ago Yagyu Jubei defeated his rival Taiko Dayu and become the best swordsman in the land, on his deathbed Jubei gives his servant Koinosuke a heart shaped “lovely” eyepatch to give to a successor, his last few words were something in the line of Bonnie Boom Boom. 300 years later we meet Jiyu a normal girl who lives with her father Sai who is starting at a new school which apparently has a convenient bamboo forest on the route where characters frequently get lost. Jiyu meets Shiro, another attendee of the school and quite proud of his Kendo achievements, we also meet a trio of delinquents who refer to themselves as the unrefined; they are Bantarou and his monkey like sidekicks Oozaru & Kozaru who sprout nothing but exposition throughout the series.
Koinosuke finds Jiyu and thinks she is the successor to Yagyu Jubei, thinking that the last words of his master referred to a large breasted girl, in fact Jiyu’s breasts seem to attract everyone in this series but by anime standards they are normal size.
Understandably Jiyu refuses and spends over half the series getting rid of the eyepatch until an assassin from a clan called the Ryuujouji attacks everyone forcing Jiyu to become Yagyu Jubei II, or as I call her, Jiyu’s scary samurai form, where she receives all of Jubei’s skills and swordplay in some of the most impressive sword battles I’ve seen for a long time, remember this predates Bleach by a long time. The formula stays the same for ten episodes until the climax in the last three episodes, but I won’t spoil anything today.
It promotes itself as an action comedy but the comedy falls flat quite frequently, with poor comic timing and serious scenes where there really doesn’t need someone making a joke at the moment. Another gag is the constant shifts in art styles to emphasize how important or how unimportant certain characters are which really isn’t needed.
My other issue with the series is the dubbing, the English dub is emotionless and lousy, out of the whole cast only four & a half actors actually tried, the unrefined trio, Ninja lady Mikage and Scary Samurai Jiyu actually put any effort in, I say half because Scary Jiyu & normal Jiyu are the same actress, it’s like when she transforms, the actor suddenly gets better as well which isn’t exactly professional is it? The script isn’t exactly stellar either as the dub cast constantly exhaust their vocal cords saying “lovely eyepatch” & “Ryuujouji” about five times an episode.
The action does redeem some of the bad qualities and the actual story is pretty good but so many things let it down that it’s a shame, there’s even a satisfying conclusion as well, or it would be if not for the Second Season release.
But there is one element of this series, where it cannot be easily beaten and that’s music; if you think it sounds like Naruto then you’d be right as composer Toshio Masuda was the composer for the first part of Naruto and Jubei-Chan was one of his first works.
Final Verdict: It’s a decent action series, with great music & story but is let down by poor comedy and emotionless dub acting. It’s worth brushing over if only to prepare yourself for the serious quality upgrade of season 2, and if you enjoy Shonen Jump battles, then you haven’t seen anything until you witness some of the battles in Jubei-Chan 2.
Here are the latest on current projects in all three Worlds.
Retro Retrospective
Anime Reviews
Rune Soldier: Working on
Creamy Mami: Working on
Jubei-Chan: Will be done at the weekend
Tiger & Bunny: Coming soon
Irresponsible Captain Tylor: Coming soon
Cartoon Vault
Shuriken School: Coming soon
Xiaolin Showdown: Coming soon
Galaxy High: Coming soon
Winx Club: Working on
Specials
Dirty Pair Week: Delayed due to extensive editing, will be posted sometime in the autumn
Nicktoons Month: In planning stages
Sailor Moon Week: May coincide with the release of the remake
Pokemon Week: Posted on the same week as X&Ys release
Top Tens
Top Ten Best & Worst Pokemon: Planned
Top Ten Best Sailor Moon Characters: Planned
Other Top Ten Lists: I usually come up with most of them last minute so don’t expect anymore planned ones.
Retiring
Big Bang Feature: Not enough time to write them and are better suited to specials
Urban Legends: Same problem, better suited for specials
Walk of Fame
Trope Killers: Will finish by the end of the week
International: All cartoons in Japan are classed as Anime so the next theme is International Greats.
Special Weeks: Pokemon & Sailor Moon weeks will have five entries each
Victory Script
Behind the Anime Pokemon: More chapters will appear the closer we get to Pokemon Week; one chapter is in editing at the moment.
Ballard of Goldena Moonlight: Act 1 is complete as of today and will take a break.
Anime Ads: I may have to scrap this idea, it seemed okay in hindsight.
Brand New for this Autumn & Winter
Short Stories Season
Replacing Ballard of Goldena Moonlight for a couple of months will be short stories, based on the many new characters within the extended universe, if any turn out to be popular I shall write full stories for them, the first one is already out.
Cartridge Diaries
The promised video game review segment will start with Sonic the Hedgehog.
Walk of Fame Requests
Walk of Fame requests are open, either comment in this entry or PM me and I’ll see what I can do, this will be active until the end of the year.
Saved from Scrap
This feature challenges me to try and save the world’s worst cartoons & anime in existence from the scrap heap, like the Walk of Fame requests, either comment on this entry or PM me with ideas you’d like me to do, you can even try and challenge me to save something I really hate.
And Now for Some Rest
I’m a little overworked right now so I’ll be taking the next couple of days off, but I’ll be back at the weekend, as usual in this situation I’ll answer any posts and messages in the meantime.
As a result of a comment in the last top ten, I now present to you the Cartoon Vault entry Kung-Fu Dino Posse, sadly made by we British.
Now let me tell you how British Cartoon Channels work; we borrow Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon & Disney along with the remnants that used to be Fox Kids and we take the content from them into three of our main channels.
Most of our homegrown stuff is put into our pre-school shows like Peppa Pig which I believe is now airing in America, but when it comes to main stream cartoon making, selling to our main channels is non existent and our best works like Amazing World of Gumball get sold to Cartoon Network.
What we have left are attempts like this.
This is the biggest most shameless ripoff of the Ninja Turtles I've ever seen. We have four dinosaurs in Kung-Fu gear; Kane the T-Rex, Lucy the Triceratops, Jet the Pteranodon & Chow the Stegosaurus. The idiot human in the picture is Edgar, a reluctant human helper character 15 years out of his comfort zone who conveniently designed all the weapons at the best possible time.
The villains this time are two raptors named Skor & Skrap, one is obviously confident the other is plain stupid.
Unlike the Turtles who can disguise themselves with trench coats the Dino Posse make no effort to hide their appearance as the best they can come up with are old school rap clothing from the 90s.
The whole plot revolves around mystic gems that when shot by a device the villain somehow has can turn the nearest object or person into a giant rampaging Dinosaur, and this is where it gets silly. Here is a list of some of the dinosaurs we see.
A Granny Dinosaur
A Rapstar Dinosaur
A Pickle Dinosaur
A Beauty Queen Dinosaur
A Skater Dinosaur
A Clown Dinosaur
You get the idea, it's utterly stupid. When things get out of hand the four main characters fuse into a giant dinosaur made of qualities of each species, so they ripoff Power Rangers as well, why not. After the Dino of the week is beaten they turn the big dino into a fossil and end the episode.
Production values seem to be a bit mixed, you can tell which episodes had someone off sick in the production team. There are parts where the episode slows down for no reason, some sounds seem to be missing and Kane's voice actor goes in and out of colds a little too frequently, plus some of the stock footage seems to randomly appear, other than that when they make the effort you can see the effort and for a series made on such shameless values that's not a bad achievement.
What do I think? It's not terrible, and with 60 episodes under it's belt has lasted longer than expected, it's a little out of date to try ripping off Ninja Turtles now but the benefits of doing it means that no one else is stupid enough to try it so you have no competition and being British made means it still gets an audience in it's country of origin, that's how Winx Club can keep making shows in it's native Italy despite not nearly getting the same treatment Stateside.
Episodes of Kung-Fu Dino Posse are easy to find on Youtube, see for yourself the power of crappy British cartoons.
