Hi I'm Dranzerstorm
You may remember me as a regular contestant on the caption battle contest.
Welcome to Retro Retrospective, my world dedicated to the old guard of the Otaku world; expect some reviews of the old & obscure, and in-depth geeky knowledge with the occasional top ten and I now have a logo.
Little info about me
Well I'm British and I'm in to all things animated and nostalgia.
I've grown up with every cartoon going and have watched hundreds of anime.
Oh and to answer a question I was asked once, no I don't wear glasses in real life, I would wear Loke's sunglasses though.
Ever since the creation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in 1984, there have been challengers to the crown ever since in every attempt to try and win with the very same formula they created, here are the ten most shameless attempts. The rules are any animation counts, anthropomorphic animal shows only and they must follow the same formula as TMNT; I'll also be listing the year of each entry, So lets begin.
Honorable Mention: Butt Ugly Martians - 2001
This one only missed the list because of the animal rule but is still a shameless ripoff nonetheless. It's a CGI cartoon about aliens who fight with power suits, despite the title, I can't really call the martians butt ugly, the attempt was to capitalize on the popular space trend that came briefly with the new millennium hype but came far too late for it to eat up any popularity.
10. Road Rovers - 1996
A group of dogs transformed into anthro canine superheroes to fight evil, it's kind of a Justice League for dogs as each canine is a world leader's pet. The team is one big 90s cliche and doesn't evolve beyond that.
9. Wild West COWboys of Moo Mesa - 1992
By divine powers of a convenient meteor, a bunch of cattle in late 19th century west become anthro cows and start playing the Wild West, apart from the fact that it plays on every cow related word possible, it was decent enough to watch and was early enough to still be fashionable for the period.
8. Loonatics Unleashed - 2005
I've mentioned this one before and I don't think highly of it, it's the only one on this list to have multiple animals rather than just one, but despite having a Looney Tunes label there are no Looney Tunes to be found, a misguided attempt by Warner Bros to try the pseudo anime craze and realizing that you need more than just the art style to succeed.
7. Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go - 2004
A very ambitious project about a team of cyborg monkeys and their human friend fighting the evil Skeleton King. It was a lot better than a number of other attempts and the villain truly looks frightening but the series is ruined by the fact that it has the Worlds Worst designed Robot ever, seriously they had the Japanese on board for this one and that's the best robot they can come up with.
6. Battletoads - 1992
This is the only direct challenger the Ninja Turtles ever got, better known for their ridiculously hard video games but largely outclassed in every field within the genre with the exception of maybe a better villain, okay not much better but at least they tried something different with that one.
5. Mighty Ducks - 1996
Disney formed an ice hockey team in 1993 and tried to make a cartoon out of it's mascot which is about an intergalactic team of ducks who just happen to play Ice Hockey. Funny thing is that the real life team didn't win the Stanley Cup until after Disney sold it. Disney are normally good with ducks but not this time around.
4. Biker Mice From Mars - 1993 & 2006
The only Ninja Turtle clone who managed a remake and the only series to be reasonably popular and the only series to keep it's original voice cast in it's remake. But still shameless nonetheless, these days the Biker Mice are slash fiction worthy.
3. Street Sharks - 1994
This series didn't even try to be subtle, it's whole intent was to make a franchise that could compete with the Ninja Turtles but with not much to go on other than sharp teeth it never really caught on.
2. Samurai Pizza Cats - 1990
To be fair, the popularity this series had wasn't their fault. In Japan it was a straight up animal anime about Samurai Cats, a few gags here and there but nothing that passes for a spoof. When it was dubbed however, there was lack of proper translations, and what they had to work with was far less than anticipated so they played it as a Ninja Turtles spoof with writing similar to the Animaniacs and ended up becoming more popular as a spoof than the original going as far as the original creators admitting it worked better as a spoof.
1. Kung-Fu Dino Posse - 2009
But we British have done it again, we actually successfully made something so shameless to the Ninja Turtles that it's hard to believe it even exists. There were more Dinosaur related shows like this one such as Extreme Dinosaurs & Dinosaucers but this series is the ultimate in shameless entertainment, if you wish for me to place this one in the cartoon vault if only to know what the hell this series is, then please comment.
I’ve not done this feature for a while, mainly because research for these either take a long time or there isn’t enough material for a full feature, today we review all the small legends that won’t be making full features but should be spoken about.
Toy Story Legends
Concept designs for CGI cowboy Woody originally depict him as being selfish and a complete jerkass, it never made it beyond that.
In another legend before the actual Toy Story 3 came out, the original storyline would’ve been Buzz Lightyear being recalled by the company that made him and the other toys retrieving him from the factory.
Japan Did It First
Staying with Pixar, they can’t take credit for first ever use of CGI, that honor goes to Japanese anime classic Golgo 13: the Professional dated 1983 before Pixar released its first ever short films.
Johnny Bravo & The Twin Towers
An infamous still shot in a Johnny Bravo cartoon aired five months before 9/11 depicts a movie poster with the words “Coming Soon” written above a skyscraper on fire.
Conspiracy theorists believe it to be a deadly premonition but I think it’s only a coincidence; a movie called “Towering Inferno” about a skyscraper on fire is often referenced in American cartoons, sitcoms and comedies, also I don’t give the creator that much credit, after all saying that a cartoon about a dumb blonde strongman who speaks like Elvis predicted a major terrorist attack is like saying a Breakfast Cereal predicted the Rapture.
Creator’s Rights Win
During the production of Sci-Fi Cartoon Oban Star Racers, executives & promoters pushed the creator to create a male protagonist instead of using a female one. The creator was not impressed and not only did he keep his original design, he even created his own company to make sure no one interfered. This became an in-house joke with original pilot Rick Thunderbolt being replaced by Molly very early on and being written out of the show completely.
Batman Can Sing
WB Kids have some funny ways of advertising it’s shows, a promotional shot for Pokemon involved Batman singing the Jigglypuff Lullaby Song, made even funnier as he tries to maintain his serious face throughout, seriously check it out.
Story of Little Black Sambo & Mr Popo
As racist as Mr Popo looks, his design actually has an origin from a late 19th Century Children’s book called Little Black Sambo. It’s a strange story about a South Indian child who gives up his colorful clothes to tigers to avoid being eaten, the tigers argued & chased each other until they ended up as pools of butter, which Sambo’s mother decides to use to make pancakes, yes it’s that bizarre. Sambo’s design is of a black child with huge red lips similar to the way Mr Popo is designed, so Popo isn’t racist he’s paying homage to a storybook character & Little Black Sambo is ridiculously popular in Japan, plus he gets bonus points for at least trying to look Indian. Also worth noting is the Pokemon Jynx who also pays homage but unconfirmed by its creators.
Subaru Makes an Anime
I’ve got one more Urban Legend to give but this one does need a post all to its self, and yes I am referring to the car company Subaru.
Okami-San and her Seven Companions is a comedy romance anime by the makers of Toradora, which is immediately obvious as both lead females look and act the same give or take height and clothing.
The story revolves around a society dedicated to helping people but asking for favors in return, sort of like the lowest, cleanest form of banking & loans, so it’s no surprise that the society is known as the Otogi Bank. The cast of characters is made up of a group of students with fairy tale motifs behind them from Western & Japanese stories; Main character Taiga I mean Ryoko is based on the Big Bad Wolf, while other leads Ringo & Ryoshi are Little Red Riding Hood & the Huntsman respectively and so on.
Episodes generally focus on jobs which are sometimes more violent in nature when faced with an enemy school, while other episodes focus on most of the characters deep & sometimes dark origin stories; there are also light hearted episodes which play on fairy tale themes such as Cinderella & Snow White; so we have a decent mixture of tones throughout the short series but because it’s such a short series there isn’t enough time to cover everything leaving the whole thing unfinished, also making the final fight with psycho villain Shiro an anti-climax, in fact the last three episodes are just one big confusing mess all together. A character who were supposed to know comes out of nowhere to train Ryoshi, while a plot to separate & destroy the Otogi Bank fails miserably, with the whole plot leaving more holes than Swiss cheese, and then we finish on a half-hearted love confession from Ryoko; it’s a poor way to finish and I hope for a 2nd season to fix this.
The characters are pretty decent as well, I find it strange that it’s called Okami-San and her seven companions when there are clearly eight, but I’m just nit-picking now.
Okami-san or Ryoko if you prefer is a classic tsundere but justified given that her backstory is rather unpleasant, she also wears the cutest ever boxing gloves known as the Kitty Knuckles. Ryoshi is a stupidly shy boy who could pass for Hinata Hyuuga’s twin brother, who is a dead hand shot with a slingshot and pachinko balls.
Ringo is the nice, yet devious one, Liszt is the president of the Otogi Bank who always has a hidden agenda and enjoys cross-dressing; his cousin Alice is comically serious all the time.
Otsu likes dressing up as a maid and always returns favors in a heavy OCD way. Majolica is just the mad scientist who sadly doesn’t get a backstory which is a shame considering her design is really good.
Finally we have Taro & Otohime who function as the world’s cutest couple, Taro flirts with any girl but will always be there for Otohime, Otohime herself used to be chubby and quite often bullied for it but a few nice words from Taro and not only has she got a lover for life but she turns out beautiful. It’s always hilarious watching Taro & Otohime on screen as Otohime’s way of bringing Taro inline is heavily implied to be good sex, as the narrator points out. Speaking of the narrator, while it’s funny hearing her snarky commentary in each episode it does however interrupt a lot of dialogue, this is the same for the subbed version which makes it even worst because you don’t always know if what your reading is the narrator or the characters.
Final Verdict: Okami-San is a very mixed bag when it comes to everything, the characters are good but use a few too many cliches and cookie cutter personalities, while the story starts off well it ends too quickly for it to make any sense. Finally the large shifts in tone between episodes are a bit of a distraction, not helped when the narrator is still being snarky. I’d still give this series a try, even if you don’t gain much from watching it.
My current run of reviews is on hold but to fill the gap here is my review of Mayo Chiki.
Mayo Chiki is a harem series and that probably gives you a fair idea what to expect but every series in this genre has a gimmick and this week’s gimmick is that lead male Kinjiro Sakamichi has Gynophobia which is the fear of women, either causing his nose to bleed uncontrollably or pass out, apparently this was developed because his mother is a pro wrestler who practises her moves on him as does his younger sister Kureha, nothing traumatic just overly affectionate family.
We then meet Konoe Subaru who is a butler to a rich girl named Kanade Suzutsuki, Konoe is apparently the superstar of the school, really attractive, good at school, good at sports, freakishly strong and totally devoted to his master; only one problem, Konoe is actually a girl who is found out by accident by Kinjiro.
I’ve seen enough Harem series to know what’s going on, he has to keep a secret about the gender thing, Kanade uses that to blackmail him, other girls join in on the fun and Konoe ends up madly in love with Kinjiro. Yeah that’s pretty much it.
Well that’s the story out the way let’s look at the characters.
Kinjiro who is nicknamed Chicken due to the translations in his full name is a typical guy with nothing to work from personality wise other than the chronic fear of women.
Konoe is a highly devoted butler who loves sheep plushies. Funny enough in the anime, no one ever finds out that Konoe is a girl other than Kinjiro despite the numerous times she’s dressed as one in plain sight of everyone and has an obvious bust when not wrapped in bandages, she even leans several times towards being a girl while dressed in butler uniform, at least Ouran’s Haruhi was a convincing male.
Konoe’s master Kanade is just a straight up sadist who uses every form of blackmail to play with poor Kinjiro, and likes to pretend to be his lover, it’s difficult to know when she can be taken seriously as she does this in every single episode.
Kureha is a straight up little sister character whose unique talent is pro wrestling the older brother, nothing special.
Usami is a straight up tsundere nothing special there either.
Nakuru at least tries to be different, by being a supporter of slash fan fiction and supporting the relationship between Konoe & Kinjiro, and yes she thinks Konoe is male. She also has an unhealthy obsession with glasses and for some reason has cat ears, she’s probably the only interesting character in this show.
Finally we have Konoe’s father Nagare whose part of the over protective daddy crowd but it’s hard to sympathize with him when he forged a kidnapping and drew a knife on his own daughter, even if he had no intention of using the weapon and even if the intentions were good, that’s still a dick move to pull.
You may have worked out by the selective language that I found this series disappointing, a real chance was there to pull off a unique story but falls for every single Harem trap and doesn’t leave enough time to recover, ending abruptly at 13 episodes before we resolve any of the plotholes. I’m glad there’s no dub, as it wouldn’t be a very good one even with well-established dub actors.
Final Verdict: It’s not a good series, it opens up to great possibilities but goes for tired clichés instead which leaves the overall experience dull.
A long time ago I did a list on both the best & worst modern cartoons, since then four new entries have appeared and one entry from the last list that's had a rethink, so to save me on extensive editing I shall list these five entries here.
Rethink Avengers Earth's Mightiest Heroes
Season 2's Skrull Invasion took over the story and became difficult to follow when most of the heroes became disguised Skrulls. The plot was too over complicated when all that was needed was a villain bad enough to be a threat but not too over complex that trying to follow his/her plan gives me chronic headaches.
Worst Monsuno
What the hell is this show about? Monsuno is a Japanese/American hybrid series like Transformers & like that show is also a promotion heavy toy series. I'm afraid like Redakai, it has the same problem. You don't give a ridiculous name and silly mystic back story to a TOY!!! In fact to quote a certain Cowboy doll.
"YOU ARE A TOY!!!!!" "YOU ARE A CHILD'S PLAYTHING!!!"
Huntik: Secrets & Seekers
At least this show doesn't make it obvious that it was made from a Children's Card Game, but doesn't stop it being utter crap, another mystic show which tries too hard. A sad problem with today's cartoons is that any attempt to copy the Yu-Gi-Oh formula, has resulted in a lot of shows like this one; being completely redundant in content. It doesn't help that I was born in the advertisement heavy cartoons of the 80s & grew up with the still toy heavy but "were trying to give you good messages" 90s so I'm not affected by this anymore.
Gormiti Nature Unleashed
I gave Gormiti a free ride because it wasn't bad enough to warrant a worst mark but only charming enough to just miss the best list, then they made this.
Quite possible the worst CGI show ever made, how the bloody hell does a modern show mess up CGI! Reboot is better than this, CGI Ripoffs of popular films are better than this, heck even amateurs on Youtube are better than this. Italy you are now the worst country for cartoons.
You can't make CGI and you can't make decent cartoons.
Best Gravity Falls
Disney have done their homework, they realize it's a waste of time trying to compete on the big screen with 2D animation but can't always make CGI last on the small screen without a well known name promoting it, so that's why small screen Disney Cartoons are still 2D. They also know that Phineas & Ferb are nearing their end so lets see what's popular.
"Hey Cartoon Network are doing well with surreal shows, why not do that?"
"That's a great idea lets hire a former employee who worked with JG Quintel"
After a hiccup with Fish Hooks we have Gravity Falls, a show that combines surreal mysteries without looking like they're ripping off Regular Show and plenty of good writing to last a few seasons.
It also makes a change for the female lead not to be the nagging voice of "I told you so" and finally being a crazy free spirit.
So not much has changed but at least Disney is still doing what it does best.
