COSPLAYS/CONVENTIONS OF 2011:
January FYEcon - Casual!Zatsune
U-con@Uconn 2011 - Miku Zatsune from Vocaloid, Luki from Dogs, Sync!Rin from Vocaloid.
April FYEcon - Matryoshka!Teto
Anime Boston 2011 - Zatsune from Vocaloid, Matryoshka!Teto, Trap!Ciel from Kuroshitsuji, Panda Hero!Miku, Ball Gown!Miku, Youji from Loveless
Connecticon 2011 - Luki from Dogs(remaking the hat and tail),SURPRISE COSPLAY <3, Youji from Loveless (will have a new wig)
May Cosplay Picnic- School Girl!Ciel
AAC 2011- SECRET COSPLAY AGAIN. Not sure of what else
I'm just SO fed up with 4chan.
As not many of you may know, I was posted and bashed like whoa a few weeks ago.
It brought me to tears.
It wasn't even really what they were saying.. It was more of the face that the pictures they got of me and some of the things they said were things that were facebook private. Meaning I had them added on my facebook account. Otherwise they wouldnt have access to that information. It was a betrayal. I cried over it for days, and it made me want to stop cosplaying, and delete all of my accounts. I felt like I couldn't trust anyone. It made me literally sick enough that my friends started to worry about me.
I still don't know why someone would start a thread about me. I'm not a mean person. I know for a FACT I'm not mean. I hate seeing people sad, and I love everyone even if they aren't too fond of me. I don't make enemies easily. When I see someone upset, the first thing I want to do is make it better. But I know that if I was in their position, I probably wouldn't want someone I barely know trying to help... So I don't jump in and try helping. Although I try my best to let people know if they ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here.
Anyway, I'm veering from what I wanted to say originally.
Now me being posted is in the past. Other than the betrayal factor, their only insults involved my weight, and how my cosplays aren't PERFECT. Like my Grell wig was too dark. Which for my face, it looked better darker. Others were that my Matt wig was too red. I wasn't wearing contacts for Ciel. Then they made fun of my Zatsune cosplay. Because I added a red vest to she shirt. Which I only did because the cosplay was incomplete. I ran out of material, and the top of the shirt wasn't done. It was just a small cosplay gathering so I thought what the hell xD
~~
NEXT TOPIC THING
I don't know how to use 4chan. I tried using it a long time ago... and I was lost as hell... I suck with internet crap, and it took me forever just to figure out facebook...
I hate the site for the sole reason that people gather just to bash other people.
I never asked for their opinions. Why should they have the right to make others feel like crap?
~~
So two people were recently posted on their. Which is understandable because they have a pretty big fan base where I live. There was a little criticism about how they use too much photoshop on their cosplays, and petty things like that. One of the people who was being bashed went ape shit. He told all of his followers that this was happening. Which created a pretty bad shit storm >.>
Then people dug deeper and found little things to post about. Like the girl has someone who she dislikes. Don't we all? Then someone screen shotted how she posted on her facebook status that she doesnt like someone. So what? It's facebook, she can say whatever she likes.
Anyway. Their fans tried to whiteknight their heros, and ended up making things worse...
I feel terrible about all of this. Even though I have no reason to. This has been going on for almost a week supposedly. It's just so stupid....
And on another note, I'm pretty sure they think I did it...
There was an issue between us (which was a misunderstanding btw) and I'm pretty sure they hate me. Which even though I don't like it, I can accept that they have their right to feel however they like. But just because they hate me, doesnt mean I dislike them. I respect them because they are more experienced at cosplaying, and they're older than me. I hate drama. it causes nothing but trouble, and someone always ends up hurt.
(Now even though I know they would never end up reading this, I still want to say it...)
Dear ______ and _____,
I wish I could help you guys get through this. I know how it feels, and I'm so sorry. I would never wish what happened on anyone. Stay strong. We all have secrets in our past, and things we regret doing. Just because you made some mistakes, it doesnt make you a bad person. You still have your friends. Don't give up just yet. You're stronger than I think you know. This will all blow over, just give it time.
Alright. I'm done for today.... It's been a long and stressful day. Too much crap going on, and not enough time to deal with it.
I just hope these two know I really didn't do it....
Oh well.. Not important I guess... I just really hope they get through this alright...
~Riska
ps- I leave those of you still reading this with an amazing video
It's insane how much I have in common with this girl...
Maybe one day I'll talk about it xD
I got a white dove for Valentines day today xD
Best. Gift. Ever.
But I need the help of you guys to think of a name!
He/she's a real sweetie :]
Doesn't bite, and she was cooing on my shoulder earlier <3
She looks like this:
Thanks guys :]
~Riska
(and sorry if you got the wrong impression by the title, but I really /do/ need your help xD AND sorry about crappy phone quality)
This really has nothing to do with anything...
I Just wanted to say that I miss my long hair
In 8th grade it was down to my butt. No joke. It was. AND it was super curly all the time because that was before I learned how to straighten it xD
Then I cut it like the first week of 9th grade (High school) because I wanted a change. I didn't take a whole lot off, just like 5-6 inches. It was still wayy past my boobs and crap though.
Then I learned how to straighten it.
After I started straightening it everyday, I started having to trim the tips once a month (my hair grows really fast lol)
Then I dyed my hair like CRAZYYYY
It went from blonde(Natural) to blue, green, pink, orange, white, black, rainbow, basically any color you can think of. And never just one color either. I always had at least 3 at one time. Like I would have pink on the top, black bangs, then white streaks. That was just my thing xD
Then I started cutting my own hair because I was getting tired of dying and styling it when it was so long.
So first I got myself side bangs. Then normal bangs.
Then I got layers. Then I cut it all up to my boobs.
Then a little lower than my shoulders, but with a lot of layers
Then finally it was cut so it didn't touch my shoulders.
Then I wanted it shorter still...
I went to an 'emo' stylist, and he gave me the signature spiky on top, lopsided bangs, and flippy sided hair xD
it was short as hell
then I cut the back more
then I finally went to the salon and they shaved the back and the sides... I had a flipping Mohawk xD
ANYWAY
That all happened within like... a year and a half xD
I was literally obsessed with cutting my hair... I would trim pieces off at least once a week.
Everyone thought I was high maintenance as hell xD
Everyday my hair was perfectly cut, makeup on, contacts in, and I would dress immaculately...
It would take me almost 2 hours to get ready for school in the morning.
Thats freaking mental.
So after I finally cut it this last time, I thought enough is enough....
It was an actual addiction. One I knew I had to quit.
People thought I was making things up when I told them it was hard for me to not cut or dye my hair.... But I'm not kidding.
Yesterday was the first time I've dyed my hair in the last almost 5 months :]
I'm very proud.
It was white and pink before, and it has been growing out lately.... So yesterday I bought some black hair dye and just put it to a plain normalish color.
Right now my hair is almost to my shoulders, and my once straight across bangs are past my nose :]
When I originally shaved my hair it was because I didn't think I deserved such nice hair when I was so ugly and not worth it...
I stopped trying to look pretty, stopped wearing makeup, and stopped trying all together. That's also when I quit school and became extremely depressed. I tried killing myself a few times. Not like those stupid paper cuts on your wrists type either. I tried to kill myself via pills (as in I took every single pill in the medicine cabinet, which believe me there were a lot) I've tried getting hit by a car, I've tried making huge gashed on my wrist and holding them under running water(That one was close. Someone found me and brought me to the hospital when I passed out from blood loss)
BACK ON TOPIC >.>
Now I'm starting to realize that I just might be worth trying to look pretty. I've started putting on a little makeup in the morning, and I do my hair sometimes. I've even started cosplaying girls again rather than always crossplaying guys.... I wear my long wigs in public in place of my hair, and I took my nose, tongue, and eye brow piercings out :]
Now I just have my snake bites xD
But I like those
Question- Why can't I ever stay on topic when I write journals? xD
Answer- Because no one reads these anywayyyy xD
Yeah.. So I'm done here....
Just basically wanted people to know that I miss my hair, and I'm slowly letting it grow back out :]
That is my card-y thing xD
It's also going to be in my introductions section. I just thought it should have a little feature/post of its own^^
So far I have only one host, but that's okay!
I asked like... 2-3 other people.. But they haven't responded yet...
That's fine
I can wait :]
This should be fun~
(sn)Dear Lelouch, I hope you don't regret allowing me to be one of your fans....
Also, as I reread this, I realize I sound pretty stupid xD Excuse the derp, I've been up late the past week working on cosplays, and managing school...
