Then what did all of this teach me?
Pain is the best teacher.
EXAMPLE
When I was younger, my mom used to tell me not to touch pots that were sitting on the stove.
Kids generally don't listen to parents. I was no exception.
Of course they were hot, and I burnt myself pretty bad.
But I never did it again.
Pain = bad
If something hurts us, we as humans will tend to stray away.
Ect.
Back on topic.
The whole ordeal that has been going on the past few months has hurt so much
Like I can't even count how many times I ended up crying myself to sleep
The fact that she betrayed me hurts the most.
Promises were broken, trust shattered.
She hit me in the worst possible spots...
Why?
Because she could.
And she KNEW she could.
I told her just about EVERYTHING. All of my secrets. All of my weaknesses...
I've known her since I was 6.
11 years. 11 FUCKING YEARS!
She was my first friend, and she got to be like my sister.
We would spend weeks over each others houses even though we went to different schools...
We made petty promises that at the time were taken so lightly...
But seeing them break in front of my face... It's the worst feeling imaginable...
Okay Riska. Stay on topic here >.>;
This whole ordeal was painful. Extremely so.
But what did it teach me?
I've been thinking about it for a while now.
The only thing I can get out of it is that I shouldn't trust people anymore.
She was the only fucking person I've ever let in. Ever.
She's seen me cry.
She's seen me at my worst.
She was there when my dad died, and when I wanted to kill myself.
She was my lifeboat.
We just were always together...
I'm the insane one who does stupid shit, and she's the one who does it with me, not always because she wanted to, but because she wasn't going to let me do it alone...
I thought we were happy.
Honestly I did.
So if the lesson was to never trust anyone again..
Well lesson learned.
I refuse to go trough with anything like this ever again.
Won't do it.
Can't do it.
Fuck that.
~Riska
