From then on I stuck with Kyouya. Being a VIP member, I often hung out with the club long after it had closed for the day. We would play commoner games, work on homework, and just talk about life. I also noticed more and more how much Tamaki loved Haruhi.
One day, I was thinking about the assignment from my father, and how hopeless it was looking. A thought occured to me as I walked into the Host Club.Why don't I tell Kyouya! I thought very hard about it, and came to the conclusion that I couldn't tell him everything, but I would give a small, blank warning.
So I told him that I wanted to talk to him away from everyone else. We walked down to one of the gardens, which was full of fall blossoms.
"You probably already know my fathers business, correct?" I asked. He pushed back his glasses with two fingers.
"Of course," he replied bluntly.
"Well, as you probably also know, I am the middle child, with an older and younger brother. Obviously, I'm not noticed often, and not just because of the family business. My older brother is destined to inherit the family business, and my younger brother is told to work harder, so that he may out shine my older brother. I am not speacial in anyway to my father. I would do anything to be noticed." My eyes stung as I held back tears.
"I'm sure that's not true, for you must be smarter than your younger brother," he told me.
"I am only smarter because I was born earlier. That means nothing to my father."
"You are special to me,"
"That means nothing!" I almost yelled at him, "I want to be different! I want to stand out..." At that moment, something in my brain clicked. I wasn't different. If anything, I was becoming less different. I was in love with a man who would probably never love me back. The whole Host Club flirted with girls to make money.
"What am I doing?" I asked my self quietly, "What have I been thinking these last few weeks? This is the stupidest thing I have ever done. " I stopped walking, and after a few steps, he did, too.
"I went against my father's wishes. I became another screeming fan girl who fell in love with a man who probably will never love me back. I'm only VIP because I know Haruhi's big secret! I've lost sight of my goals and dreams. And now I realize, after I thought that I actually wasn't alone in the world, that I really am. Now that old pain just hurts worse."
So I ran. I didn't care about my stuff, still back in the third music room. I wanted to go home, where the apartment waited, quietly stating the horrible truth. No one truely noticed me. All I am in my fathers eyes is nothing, and when my father finds out how horribly I failed my assignment, I'll be worse than nothing. I'll be scum.
