Well it's pretty long so I'll just get to it.... The only thing that made this epic conversation any better was that my Pandora played Surfin' Bird near the end and I practically died. TODAY=BEST DAY EVER.

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You: It's kinda messed up isn't it?
Stranger: Knee grow.
You: Ya got me
You: I'm out
Stranger: Show your boobies please.
You: Hmm This reminds me of a puzzle
Stranger: How so? I need answers.
You: Questions Questions everywhere
Stranger: What's a good birthday present for a relitive who just turned 12?
Stranger: It's a male.
You: Life
You: It's fun for the whole family
Stranger: True.
Stranger: I got him a mario brothers tshirt that has all the characters on it, and a james brown cd.
You: The "I feel good" guy?
You: Noice
Stranger: By any chance are you celebrating Cinco de Mayo today?
You: Nah
You: I hate the letter 5
Stranger: Yeah, that guy, but he does alot of other entertaining little jigs too.
Stranger: Why?
You: It mocks me
Stranger: How often?
You: All the time
You: I prefer imaginary numbers
Stranger: Like what?
You: i
Stranger: Would you care for a cigarette?
You: No
Stranger: Why not?
You: They are bad
Stranger: How about some tequila?
You: nah
Stranger: You shouldn't resist.
You: I should
You: D.A.R.E. told me too
Stranger: How many backflips can you do in a row?
You: All of them
Stranger: WOWWWWWWWWWW!
Stranger: Are you an acrobat?
You: Nope
Stranger: Are you a rabbit?
You: No
You: Rabbits can't type
Stranger: Yes they can.
You: No they can't
Stranger: Are you a water bottle?
You: If they type they die
You: No
Stranger: Would you consider yourself a turkey & roast beef sandwich on wheat bread, no mayo?
You: Hmmm... I don't think so
Stranger: How about a racecar?
You: I wish
Stranger: A plastic bag?
Stranger: A shoe?
You: Nah
You: no
Stranger: 5 tomatos?
You: Is that a fat joke?
Stranger: Yes.
You: You're 5 tomatoes
Stranger: No I am not.
You: You are too
You: At least 5
Stranger: Prove it.
Stranger: NO I'M NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: Yeah-huh
Stranger: Can you please fix the rash that currently occupies my armpit?
You: I'm not a doctor
Stranger: You are now.
Stranger: Fix it.
You: Fix'd
Stranger: I think that I am allergic to this soap.
You: Now you're not
Stranger: You did not fix the armpit situation thoroughly.
Stranger: Buy me everything.
You: I did, you just didn't respond to procedure properly
You: No
Stranger: Yes.
You: no
Stranger: Yes.
You: no
Stranger: Please?
You: No
Stranger: Why not?
You: I don't know where to get it
Stranger: Everywhere. Start in the towel section of the store.
You: I don't think you can get everything in the towel section
Stranger: Do you ever stomp ketchup packets to shoot them at people?
You: nope
You: I hate ketchup
You: And refuse to promote it's use in any way shape or form
Stranger: They grind the flies and stuff into it.
Stranger: How do you feel about barbeque sauce?
You: It's not very good
You: But I don't hate it
Stranger: What is your opinion about mayonnaise?
You: Disgusting
You: Unless in deviled eggs
You: or Egg Salad
Stranger: I agree.
Stranger: Not even in deviled eggs.
Stranger: I use sour cream.
You: Gross
You: Sour cream is gross all the time
Stranger: You are incorrect.
You: *supercorrect
Stranger: *superincorrect
You: *supersupercorrect
Stranger: *superduperincorrect
You: *superdupersupercorrect
Stranger: *superduperduperduper incorrect
You: *superduperduperdupersupercorrect
Stranger: Would you consider yourself a canadian?
You: No
Stranger: Why not?
You: I'm not french
You: Or weird
Stranger: You are weird
Stranger: And french.
You: You're weird
You: And french
Stranger: And that does not make you canadian.
You: But I'm not
Stranger: Do you ever sit back and wonder how your life wouldve turned out if you were canadian?
You: All the time
Stranger: Are you chinese?
You: No
Stranger: A chinese superhero of sorts?
You: SHHH no
Stranger: What would you do right now if you got earthquaked?
You: Shake
Stranger: then what? how would you keep yourself from getting crushed?
You: I wouldn't
You: I'd just get squished
Stranger: I'd be fucking pissed if there was an earthquake right now.
You: I don't know how to handle earthquakes
Stranger: I have a soda can that has cigarette butts and water.
Stranger: If the earthquake knocked it over & spilled on me I'd be pissed.
You: then isn't it a cigarette butts and water can
You: ?
Stranger: You are absolutely right.
Stranger: The container has soda branding on it, so it can be misleading.
You: Understandable
You: Hopefully it's a good soda brand
You: And not like A&W Rootbeer
Stranger: It's alright, Sprite.
You: That makes a Melon Ball bounce
Stranger: I prefer Sunkist orange when I drink soda.
You: It is quite delicious
You: I prefer grape Crush
Stranger: I usually drink water though.
You: Or Canada Dry Ginger Ale
You: Water is for fishes
Stranger: Grape crush is pretty good.
Stranger: Your face is for fishes.
You: Your fish are faces
Stranger: Canada dry is good in the morning if you have a hangover.
You: That would be scary....
You: Canada Dry is good all the time
Stranger: If my fish was a face, could my ear double as the tailfin?
You: No the tailfin would double as an ear
You: Or just be an ear
You: and not double as anything
Stranger: Would that technically mean that the fish would be able to hear from its asshole?
You: Face-fishes are scary
You: And there hasn't been enough information gathered on them to determine if this is true
Stranger: Do you like eating fish?
You: no
You: They taste fishy...
You: Both literally and figuratively
Stranger: I agree. Fish is disgusting.
Stranger: What is your stance on shrimp?
You: Delicious if battered and deep fried
Stranger: Would you feel silly if someone loaded a battered and deep fried shimp into a slingshot and hit you in the forehead with it?
You: no, but I hope the other person would
Stranger: How mad would you be in that scenario?
You: Also they should be deeply ashamed wasting food like that
You: Not mad just disappointed
You: Such a waste
Stranger: What if it was just the tail?
You: Then probably just irritated
Stranger: If it happened at a resturaunt, would you get up & hunt the culprit down?
You: No.... I'd throw it at someone else
You: Start a food fight
Stranger: What if it got stuck in your forehead?
You: I'd go to a hospital
You: And sue the restaurant
Stranger: You would be somewhat of a fish tail unicorn.
Stranger: ooooooops, shrimp tail unicorn.
You: Like a reverse mermaid
Stranger: Indeed.
You: reverse shrimp-maid... that doesn't really need to be changed
You: I could be a super hero
You: I would use my new shrimp powers for evil though
You: so a super villian
Stranger: Would the money you get by suing be worth giving up your new found superpower?
You: No, I'm beyond suing them now
Stranger: You could use facepaint for designs around it...
You: I've moved on to world domination
Stranger: Perfect.
Stranger: It would be intimidating.
Stranger: And since you'd already have the initial implant into your skull, you could build onto it.
You: Morphing myself into JUMBO-SHRIMP
You: The most vile of all marine villians
Stranger: Holy shit, you could build onto it, so it'd be like a bush of shrimp tail...
Stranger: and they could all move independently.
You: That would be perfect.
You: No one would fight someone with independently moving shrimp tails in their head
Stranger: You could go underwater, and it would double as a coral reef.
You: A Perfect Disguise!
Stranger: You could have poisionus coral allies grow onto the shrimp tail, only strengthening your hold on world domination.
You: Indeed
You: I bet the person who slung the shrimp tail into my forehead is regretting it now
Stranger: Perhaps they knew what they were doing...
You: I don't know whether to make them my enemy for deforming me, or to thank them for spurring my desire for world domination
Stranger: I'd imagine you'd look at them as a father figure.
You: Feared but respected
You: All I ever really wanted was their love...
Stranger: Exactly...
Stranger: So who would really be the head honcho in this operation, you or him?
Stranger: He probally has all kinds of discarded seafood byproducts at his disposal.
Stranger: Clam shells, lobster shells...
You: It was only a matter of time until a seafood based villan popped up
Stranger: I think he would be the one to lead the way.
Stranger: An entire league of them.
You: I'm nothing special, one of millions.
You: I think it's time I went renegade
You: Start fighting against this Fishy Army
You: I won't be like them, I won't let them control me
You: or my Shrimp Tails forehead!
Stranger: He probally has the seafood market of villanry cornered...
You: I'll start a group of super heroes. But I'll expand. I won't use just seafood freaks.
Stranger: If I were in your situation, I'd try to see what land animal side products i could muster...
You: Any type of meal by-products will me allowed
Stranger: rib bones?
You: *be
You: Yes
You: Pigs feet
Stranger: the bone in the middle of ham
You: Everything
You: Apple core
Stranger: the bread crust of childrens sandwiches
You: All those pieces of food no one gives second thought to
Stranger: The belly button on the top of tomatoes.
Stranger: Onion paper.
You: We will rise up against our seafood brethren, fight them, show them they error of their ways
You: And in the end, we will destroy whoever started this
Stranger: You'd need your own magical slingshot...
You: I'll have to go on an adventure to find it
Stranger: How the fuck do you plan on obtaining one to get your operation started?
You: I'll climb to the top of Everest and ask the monk who lives there
Stranger: Perfect plan, you have to go to the very top of the world to get to the bottom of these mysteries of the deep.
You: Yes, but he won't have the answers I'm looking for
You: He'll send me on some journey
You: And in the end I'll realize I was the magical slingshot all along
Stranger: *has no idea how to follow that without ruining 1000 internets to you*
You: *IKR I'm at a loss too*
Stranger: perfect ending.
You: Indeed
Stranger: i started cracking up at 'in the end I'll realize I was the magical slingshot all along'
You: Yeah that line just came to me. It had to be written.
Stranger: There would be some shitty sequels to it.
You: Yeah, a maybe some crappy video games
Stranger: It'd be on SciFi, straight to TV.
Stranger: 'but the original was great'
You: eventually it would fade off into pop culture obscurity
You: Perhaps appearing in the daily double of Jeopardy
Stranger: Maybe throw in some self cannibalism scences during the everest climbing scene...
You: Yeah, just for some added drama
Stranger: Hipsters in 20 years will wear the tshirts.
Stranger: retroooo
You: Then there will be a sudden revival. A remake will be made.
You: The remake will turn out to not be as good as the original
You: It's really just the original but more sparkly
Stranger: It will be critically acclaimed during the first 3 weeks.
You: And can you believe they took out bread-crust kid!
Stranger: :( and watermelon seed will be implanted
Stranger: chicken grizzle
Stranger: assholes.
You: But there will be those who will pass on the glory of the original for their children. "Once children, this is what we were capable of."
Stranger: They will look at everything in a new appreciative light.
You: Glorious
Stranger: It will bring the world to its true protential.
Stranger: Why does it have to be so damn hot today?
You: The sun is a jerk
Stranger: Build me an air conditioning unit.
You: You build me an air conditioning unit
You: I don't need it
Stranger: No.
Stranger: I need to go out to dinner now.
You: But I'll sell it to you when you're done
Stranger: Perfect.
You: Beware shrimp tails
Stranger: It must be discounted.
Stranger: I will not be.
You: Well it's your risk
Stranger: It is my destiny.
You: And no discounts
Stranger: Alot of discounts.
You: (Oh gosh that killed me)
Stranger: ahhhhhhhhhh i gotta leave.
You: No discounts
You: And no refunds!