Gruge + Puppet = ...Insanity, and Slight Trauma

So, you might have clicked this just for curiosity... well, I hope I don't make you too bored, but I am claiming to be insane, so it shouldn't be that hard.

Yesterday I had one of the most traumatizing nightmares of my life. It's right up there with the 'Glowing Green Skeletons Take over the World' and 'Killing Elmo'. Now, I have to admit that the one about Elmo was more like a fantasy, but it was still pretty damn scary. I hate that little bast@rd.

So, the dream began with... wait, don't remember that part. Oh, yes, I was lying in bed of a place I don't know, most probably in a hotel room with my newest lay right next to me, and by some strange force, I decide I want to flip the mattress over.

"UIBIGVNERUBH!" is my first reaction as I gaze into those wide, black eyes and stress over the split ends of water drenched hair. Yes, everyone's seen The Grudge, I presume? Maybe The Ring? Either way, it's still a psychotic chick with tourettes and a limb deficiency... or is that the rigor mortis? Don't know for sure, but in that sort of movie making magic only Hollywood can make, a scene change happens and I'm in my kitchen.

I love food. If you ask me what I love most in the world, I will unabashedly tell you that. If I have my daily exercise you will see me at my fridge munching on a week old five dollar footlong.

Nightmare kicks in again and the damn puppet thing springs out of the deep fryer, except instead of being a real deep frying it's some sort of shelf thing you see in gas stations. It's commin' right at me! Oh, noez! I don't know what to do about that long hair, and those stiff limbs that will give me splinters...!

Conveniently, there's some water boiling on the stove right next to me, kiddy-corner the fridge.

Salvation! I grab her b!tch ass and shove her face first into it. There, won't be seeing her...

I think.

By then I wake up and bolt out of my room, into the kitchen, and grab that footlong...

...as well as burn that damn puppet-clown hanging above my fireplace.