Hey everyone...it was a normal day for me up until a little over an hour ago. I kind of feel like I should vent but at the same time I don't want to...mixed feelings, I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now.

But um...to put it simply...
I got a phone call from my dad. And he said that my grandma on my mom's side passed away.

My mom is taking it REALLY terribly because this is the first time we've had a death in our family and nobody knew what it was gonna be like. I didn't know what it was going to be like...even though I've dealt with the deaths of several friends in the past. It's different from a family member...
but right now it all feels kinda surreal to me. I'm not feeling anything extreme yet..just mild sadness that I'm trying to ward off. Mostly because this is the WORST time ever to have this kind of news because I've got 7 exams(2 of which are tomorrow) and this is really disrupting everything.

But it kind of worries me that I'm not really sad right now because it probably means it's going to hit me hard later. Really hard.
I just...I don't want to be sad because now I've really got a reason to do well on my exams. I know if I do well, then my grandma will certainly be proud of me for working hard, and even though she's not on this earth anymore, she's still watching me, I'm sure.

My mom is hesitating about leaving to Korea tomorrow morning so she can be in time for the funeral on Saturday...she just doesn't want to leave me and my sis alone and forget about work because she's just a worried mom that cares a lot. But I actually kind of hope she goes so she can think about herself for once and at least go to her own mom's funeral. I know I'd want to if I were her.

So anyway, I don't really know how I'm taking this...or where this post is really going but, thanks all of you for being my friends and listening to me. I love you all so much and don't ever forget that<3