EDIT: If you haven't read the post below yet, it would mean a great deal to me if you did. And if not, well that's alright, no one is forcing you to read up on what's on my mind and going on in my life xDI wanted to thank you guys SO SO much that commented for your support...you have no idea how grateful I am to hear your thoughts on my decision. I know I upset some of you because you won't be seeing my art for quite a while, but I promise you it'll be worth it because I've promised to myself to work hard to make the experience worthwhile!
Special thanks to Truly-chan who wrote like a 2-hour long response haha but it made me think even more about my choice and I've decided that I will make about me and only me. In other words, be true to myself for once and worry about nothing else. You are my dearest friends, and I know you'll be around and by my side with me and I would do the same for you all! I promise you guys will see some wonderful new art and lots of it when I get back. School started for me yesterday, so my hiatus has now officially begun. I love you all so much<333 and don't worry I'll always be here for you! My art will be back before you know it ^^
Hello there everyone!! Goodness it has been a busy past few days! I have just returned from taking my Senior Photos, and my goodness was it an experience! I thought it would be incredibly awkward but I was actually having somewhat of a good time ^^ The photographers really helped in making the atmosphere much more comfortable haha<3 Oh and I even got to see some of my close friends there which also made the experience so much more fun!
On that note though, I am still in disbelief about being a senior in high school! I still even have my sister's senior photos haha. I really hope the photos turned out well but more importantly I've got work to do and a new year to look forward to! ^^ I'm actually kind of excited to start school and see all of my friends again on Monday!
I went to Freshman Orientation yesterday to recruit some new golf players for the team and it actually went pretty okay ^^ Only 2 players but considering that it's golf, well I think that's pretty good! haha<3 And we are a strong team so I am sure we will be alright! *nods* It was interesting to see all of the freshman come in though...it makes me not want to grow up but at the same time I also want to see what kind of surprises life has in store for me!(Oh and with my new iPhone 3G S with texting!<333)
Also, today at driving practice(yes...I go everyday xD), I was terribly ridiculous and lacking common sense and I felt absolutely horrible. I almost got me and my mom into an accident! T__T I know you are always supposed to stop at red but since you are able to take right turns on red when there are no cars coming then I thought I could just make the turn...but there WERE cars coming and I was confused because I thought I had the right of way but that was not the case >.< *only has 2.5 weeks of driving practice*
I even said sorry but she and my dad got mad at me for saying sorry because they thought that I was apologizing for not being perfect, but actually I was apologizing for almost getting my mom into an accident! *sigh* And of course I am misinterpreted again... well in any case it was an experience to learn from and now I know for sure that I must be even MORE careful than I was then whenever I drive in the future.
Now here's the important part I wanted to tell you all about.
I haven't posted art since...June, I believe? That picture of Itou was my last pic for a long while and since then believe it or not I haven't drawn any full-fledged color pictures at all. Only sketches for a gaia temp shop I'm doing and I'm currently in the progress on drawing one full-color illustration for an auction prize..which I haven't started on yet because of my parents constantly over my shoulder saying "you're spending too long on something that isn't your priority"...(hence why I'm only limited to sketches T__T)
I've come up with a schedule that allows me to draw for an hour a day or so however...
it requires that I take up my plan.
I'm not sure how many of you will like this because the few that I've told so far didn't like one aspect of it and that's the fact that...
well, you won't be seeing my art for a long time.
I've decided that I'm going to take a longggg hiatus.
I've been thinking about this for about 3 months actually, since exams started in May and all of that terrible stuff was happening with the deaths of both of my grandmothers and while I was in Korea.
That was when I really started to see how fast my friends were improving.
And I'm not going to lie, I really really really got jealous, and in a way I still kind of am...sooo many of you have improved your skills so much, whether it be art, e-card or wallpaper making, or even your writing! It's like everyone is improving so much at what they are doing...and I feel like I am going absolutely no where. Mostly because I focus too much on the WORTH of my art it seems..for instance.
On Gaiaonline people can commission you gaia gold to get art, yes? Well some people's art, as you know, is worth far more than others..and it just so happens that it's become that way with me and my friends and well..rather than being put down by it, it's pushed me more to want to become better. Without having any attachments put on my art besides my love for it and maybe you guys's love for it too.
I'm going to be going away from here, deviantart, and gaiaonline for a long time so I can improve my art. I have never once been told by someone other than my friends that they have admired me/my art and have been inspired by me...not even by my parents. I want to hear that from someone..since my friends seem to get it so often. And I not only want recognition from others but also self-recognition..because I'm not satisfied with my progress either.
And I know it's not even my fault really because of the heinous amount of homework and such that I have to put up with, but what they always say to make time if you want something that badly. And despite my parents always telling me how unimportant art is compared to my studies, I want them to recognize me and I want someone to recognize me besides you all who are my friends. I'm SO grateful for all of the people that stick behind me and support my work<333 you guys are honestly the ones that keep me drawing, my friends! But I need to be able to be proud of myself..and even if it means just getting one random comment from someone I don't know telling me that I am one of their favorite artist's ever, that would honestly mean the world to me and let me know that I have progressed in my art. I want to be able to see my progress with my own eyes, and that's what this hiatus is for.
Not because of school work. Not because I don't care for you all. Because I want to. I want to get better. My favorite artist on this site..you don't know who you are and you will probably never see or know this but I desperately want to be on your level or better someday and I will work hard to make that happen!
My friends...who are all creators of art, e-cards...wallpapers, whatever it is that you do! You are ALL my favorite artists, and don't forget that ever! If I see any of you give up, I swear I will do all I can in my power to see your work again! *nods* I want to be on that same plane as the rest of you! Improving so much...I am just so impressed with you guys, you won't believe how much all of you inspire me everyday with your works.
Now this doesn't mean that I'm not going to post on my World or anything and stop commenting! LOL. I will be keeping up with everything on here, I promise. The only thing that I will not be keeping up with is my art-posting/selling on sites. I am going to cut off art trades and challenges except maybe one or two during this improvement period.
When I feel that I am good enough, I will come back to posting on here. It'll be hard to do that...but I swear that I want to get better and show you all what I am able to do with dedication and lots of practice. I want to come back and have you all completely blown away...and for myself to be able to see a noticeable difference...that would mean more than the world to me.
So aside from like..1-2 artworks I have yet to post on here, there won't be anything more for a long while. After discussing it and thinking it over, I've come to that conclusion and I know some of you will be like what on earth at me for this, but I need to get away from this idea of "worth" being attached to my art aside from my love for it. I should do it because I love it and because it is something I want to get better at, not because I care about how much someone will "pay" me for it or whether I'll get X amount of votes/comments on it or not(although views are more important to me, hugs/faves are still a sign of worth that I ought to get away from for a while). I don't think I've felt that true love for my art really in like..4 years or something =/ I've lost it..and I've only been able to feel it maybe once or twice since. Look at my portfolio..you will see that practically everything in it isn't even for me. Even pictures of my characters were often requests from friends that were eager to see the designs or for Gaia auctions etc. And don't get me wrong, I love drawing gifts because it makes the other person SO happy<333 but I realize that in doing that I also keep myself from being FULLY happy. This was really my fault in wanting to do all of these things, but now is the time to fix it.
I hope none of you are upset with me. And if you are, I'll understand since many of you guys keep saying I should post more because you love my work, but I hope you understand my view on this and why I'm deciding to do this. Lol I even expect to lose some more subscribers during the wait. I promise I won't be away forever, but more importantly I PROMISE to get better! Not just as a promise to myself, but as a promise to you all! So you will have to a while longer to see my art again >.<
I will be on here almost everyday to check up on you guys, don't worry. ^^ And I'll be posting too..letting you know how everything is going. But I know I can't stay far from this place for too long because I love it too much here. My MSN is [email protected] by the way, if you ever would like to chat me and have a talk! I'm on there very often, so if you want to keep in touch the best, that's the easiest way to do it! Or PM me here, that works too ^^
I love you guys SO SO much...and I hope you guys are doing well! Please take care of yourselves and don't forget that I'm always here for you!
