EDIT: I also decided that with this post, a theme change was in order. =P What do you guys think?
EDIT 2: Please note, I don't want to seem selfish in saying what I did in my post. However, I just really want to get that feeling of complete, pure enjoyment back that I seem to have lost lately. I do love drawing for others, but I feel like I've been steeping myself into shallow wants lately, and I just want to get out of that by taking some time for myself.
Also, my card was accepted! >.< But I don't think it's totally shown up in the system yet because the date is totally off LOL.
Hello everyone~ I'm not even 100% sure if my card is gonna get accepted LOL but I submitted one for the challenge because Kelsey inspired me with some of her beautiful submissions. <3 I'm very excited to see if it gets accepted or not! It was accepted! >.<
On the other hand...well, I had a really serious talk with my dad yesterday about my art and my whole situation with not having enough time for it, and I've kinda come to the realization that...well.
I've kinda lost something very important.
And I really need to get it back.
So after I finish these things on my to-do list(which is probably 2 more things?), I am completely changing my thought process on how to go about art.
I really hate to admit it, but my thoughts have been so shallow in the back of my mind somewhere. I always tell myself that I'm drawing for myself and myself only even when it's an art trade with someone else, but I can never shake the fact that deep down I also draw now because I want that feedback and huge popular response someday that some of my favorite artists get .
And after telling my dad all of these things, he was really shocked, because now he understands why I stress so much when I don't have time for art. It's probably for the wrong reasons.
As soon as it turns into a competition for shooting to be popular like someone else, you've lost something REALLY important. And I've really gotta stop caring about things like that, because when it turns into a competition, it's not just a hobby I love anymore. Comparing yourself to others takes away that aspect.
Yes, I do want to improve for myself and myself only. That I can say with confidence. But I know there's a HUGE part of me that also wants me to get better so I could have a taste of that immense popularity, and I have to eliminate that thought process because it's affecting me and my art.
I will admit that I'm kinda stuck in the wrong place right now because I've lost this really important aspect: just loving my art for the sake of loving it and nothing else.
My dad says the best solution would be to just cut off all connections to the online world to stop this from happening anymore, but I have friends on here that I care about, and I do want to share my work with them. However, I want to appreciate the comments/faves/whatever I get, rather than take them for granted in the back of my mind and work mostly for them and the possibility of becoming popular.
I love drawing for others, but it's not good for me if it comes at my own expense. So I just have to balance out my time spent drawing for others and myself more.
I know many of you have told me this time and time again: focus on your own art and don't overwork yourself. I've listened to you all say it to me countless times, but I don't think I ever truly grasped the meaning of your words. I always would say that it was for myself, but really I think I care too much about other people to worry about what I'm doing for myself alone. However, after some thinking and the talk with my dad, I understand it now, I really do.
So. It's 2012. It's time for a whole new aragorn1014.
It's time for me to focus on myself and get my true love for art back.
So get ready everyone, things are about to be different.
