Changed my mind about the story.

The only thing I like about it is the one paragraph that makes up the expostion. The rest of it is too fast paced, assuming the reader knows the situation I'm talking about. THEN there's too much idle description and not nearly enough actions; no one gets adequate screen time; I can see the action but I sure as hell can't write what I'm seeing; it is NOT suited to be a "halloween story" at ALL; my narration is passive and boring; and finally, it would have ended on a terrible and melancholy note because in reality Kiki's powers are sad if you think about them in the context of situations similar to this story.

So no. I'm not going to post or finish it as is. I drew a halloween costume and that was all I was out to accomplish this season. Good luck to those who DID complete a story for the contest.