Once again, its been far too long since I decided to put thoughts here in the old blog.

I really feel that all the times I say I'm trying my damndest to work on myself, its all bullshit. I'm lying to me, about almost everything. I'm deluding myself with a lifetime's worth of bad habits.

I'm not good at being too social. It seems every time I try, I feel like I fail. I really suck at keeping in touch with the people who mean the most to me. All it would take is a simple call, or a text, a message on Facebook, or email. But I never get to it. I can't help but think that when I do reach out, I'm wasting the other person's time. Its not the case, I know that. But it is quite difficult to convince an introverted, depressed, and socially awkward mind otherwise.

Every time I hear any kind of compliment, I just think someone is trying to blow smoke up my ass.

I'm done with the ranting. Sorry for the depressing intrusion into what I assume are splendid weekends.

I think I'll go and take a walk through my new 20 acre tract of land.