Thats all yesterday really was. At least to me. Its not that I dont celebrate Christmas, but with the current economic situation at my house, nobody could afford anything for anyone.
And Im not doing this to get any kind of sympathy, Im just putting my own feelings into words. I dont want or really need a bunch of "OH that sucks, Im sorry" or stuff like that.
I really do appreciate the support you guys give me in the hard times. I dont think this is one of them though. For some reason, Im not incredibly downtrodden about this whole thing. Christmas has never been a big holliday for me.
For a long time, all I got was gift cards and cash, I never asked for anything. Its not that there werent things I wanted, I just felt that if I wanted them, to get them myself. To feel proud that I was able to afford something nice for me (HDTV, Truck, Computer, Video Games, DVDs, Fishing Gear, camera, Canadian Vacation) I always felt better when I could afford to stuff like that without a handout, or a gift, or anything like that.
And since my mom passed away, the 25th of December may as well be the 25th of August, except fucking cold and snowy. I think over the top decorations are tacky and pretencious, I think extravagent gift giving is wasteful. So the 25th, I observe a semi-religious thing that the Christians stole from the Pagans, thank myself that I didnt get caught up in the over-commercialism of the season. Its not the point of the day anyway. And I thank god that I still at least have my idiot brother and dick head dad.
I leave you all with this. Dont take my ideas and opinions too seriously, Im a bastard to begin with, a cynic first and foremost, and a smartass to boot. I wish you and yours a very Merry belated Christmas, and a happy, alcohol filled, memory gapped New Year. Any may the next one be better to all of us.
Later
John
