Kyon walked to his desk, keeping his head hung low to hide his burning cheeks. Because Haruhi had taken his one and only school uniform, he had been forced to go to classes wearing his pajamas.
He had tried to explain it to his teacher, but as soon as the word “Haruhi” came out of Kyon’s mouth, Okabe just waved Kyon away, nodding.
Kyon sighed, annoyed, as he noticed that that idiot Taniguchi making his way towards him.
“Hey, Kyon, weren’t content with just the maid’s outfit, huh? Well, I suppose the clothes you wear too bed aren’t too bad of a sight either.”
Trying to ignore the latter half of Taniguchi’s comment- and, well, the former as well, Kyon began to reply with some sarcastic remark, before what Taniguchi had said hit him.
“How… how did you know I wore a maid costume?” Kyon growled.
“Oh, so you really did! Man, I thought for sure that was ‘shopped. Why were you wearing that in the first place? I didn’t know you were a crossdresser! Wait until everyone hears about this- I’ve got to go tell-“
Kyon cut the bumbling boy off. “Taniguchi. How did you know about that?”
“You haven’t noticed the hundreds of pictures of you posted all around the school? Pff, how could you not? That’s what everyone,” Taniguchi gestured around at their classmates, “-especially the girls- has been talking about.”
But when Taniguchi turned back around, Kyon wasn’t there.
Kyon was already halfway to the Literary Club Room, one word repeating through his mind, causing his blood pressure to rise and his nostrils to flare.
Suzumiya.
~o~o~o~
Kyon burst through the door, in a fashion not unlike the source of his anger herself.
“Haruhi, what the hell is wrong with you?”
Haruhi looked up from her monitor, grinning like the cheshire cat.
“You know, Kyon, normally people get dressed in the morning. It’s important to properly present yourself!”
“Haruhi, you know damn well why I’m not dressed.”
“Oh, do I now?” She feigned confusion.
“Tell me right now why there are pictures of me in a maid’s outfit plastered on the walls of every building, or… or I’ll…”
“Or you’ll what, Kyon?” Haruhi giggled. She was enjoying this.
What would I do? Anything that would give me complete satisfaction of revenge would not only fatally injure Haruhi, but also most likely fatally injure the world.
Kyon’s thoughts were halted when he heard the door quietly open.
“A-am I interrupting so-something…?”
Apparently even Asahina can feel my anger towards Haruhi radiating into the room.
Or maybe I’m just easy to read.
Kyon turned around to attempt to fake a smile at Mikuru, but as soon as he saw her soft, baby-like skin and the adorable and concerned look in her eyes, he felt the intensity of his rage cool down.
“Kyon, why are…”
“Oh, don’t worry, Ms. Asahina. I was just asking Haruhi a question.”
“N-no, I meant… your clothes…”
“Oh. That. That’s what I was asking Haruhi about.”
“O-oh, I see…” Mikuru didn’t really understand, but she decided not to pursue the subject any further and went to take her customary maid outfit off of the hanger.
Haruhi, who had been sitting unnaturally silently, stood up and shouted at Mikuru.
“You won’t be needing that today! I’ve decided that for a change, we’ll be having Kyon serve us tea!”
Even though Mikuru stood right in front of him and made an adorable little gasping noise, Kyon’s anger returned in a millisecond.
“No way, Haruhi. You didn’t answer my questions, and I do NOT want more pictures of me posted everywhere.”
“Oh, calm down Kyon. I don’t even have my camera with! And it’s not fair that Mikuru gets to be the center of attention all the time!”
I don’t see anyone objecting to Ms. Asahina being the “center of attention”. Well, other than Asahina herself. But sometimes you’ve got to take one for the team, Ms. Asahina!
That might sound hypocritical, but I never agreed to join said “team” anyway, so….
“Then… why don’t you do it? I mean, if you want change you’re supposed to start with yourself.” Kyon tried.
I would have suggested Nagato do it, but I already owe her enough, considering she saved my life.
And there's no way I'm about to even put the idea of Koizumi dressing as a maid in her head.
“Kyon, as the SOS Brigade LEADER, I have to lead. Others follow. If I start dressing in a maid’s costume, I will be following what the rest of you are doing, not LEADING. Jeez, why didn’t you figure that out for yourself?”
Maybe because your logic isn’t very logical.
Although Kyon didn’t think Haruhi’s logic made much sense, he found it difficult to argue with her. But before he could even really try to think up an argument, Haruhi butt in.
“Okay, Kyon! Judging by your appearance, you’re incapable of dressing yourself. So, allow me to help you!”
Mikuru “eeped” and covered her face as she ran to the door. It would be rude to watch Haruhi do to Kyon what Haruhi had done to herself so many times. But it wasn’t like she’d be able to stand there watching without blushing madly anyway.
While Haruhi was attempting to wrestle Kyon to the ground to get a hold on him, Yuki gently set her book down and, facing ahead expressionlessly, quietly walked to the door.
When did she get here?! She must have slipped in while I was distracted by Haruhi’s infuriating taunting.
“Kyon, stop struggling! Do you have any idea how hard it is to get your shirt over your head when you keep wiggling around?!”
~o~o~o~
“Good afternoon, Ms. Asahina, Ms. Nagato.”
“KYOOON! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!”
“Er, might I ask what is going in on there?” Koizumi asked as he heard loud crashing coming from inside the clubroom.
“Ms. Suzumiya is dressing K-Kyon u-up.”
“Ah, I see.” Was all he replied.
“JUST GIVE IN ALREADY!”
“Damn it, Haruhi! I can dress myself!”
More crashing.
“OW! Haruhi, my arm doesn’t bend that way!”
“Then MAKE it bend that way!”
“D-do you think Kyon will be alright?” Mikuru asked nervously.
“I’m sure he’ll be fine, Ms. Asahina. Ms. Suzumiya is rough, but she’s not a bully.”
“Alllriight, everyone! Kyon’s alll ready~!” Haruhi merrily shouted from the clubroom.
Nagato, being the only brave enough one in the bunch, opened the door without much thought.
Asahina gasped and turned red.
Koizumi smiled and raised his eyebrows.
Nagato kept her poker face, yet there was a hint of interest in her eyes.
Kyon was dressed from head to toe in the maid outfit reserved normally for only Mikuru. He kept his head down to try and hide some of his shame.
“So, what do you guys think? It suits him well, doesn’t it? Oh, and I forgot the best part! Everyone, sit down so Kyon can serve us tea~”
The SOS Brigade sat down in their usual spots, other than Mikuru, who sat at Kyon’s spot.
“…haven’t I had enough embarrassment for one day?…” Kyon grumbled, as he poured tea in each of the members’ cups without bothering to keep his head up.
“T-thanks, Kyon.” Asahina whispered, trying to save Kyon some embarrassment by not looking at him.
“Thank you very much, Kyon.” Koizumi grinned.
Nagato accepted her tea with a nod.
“What about me, Kyon?! Hurry your butt up; at this rate you’ll be a worse maid than Mikuru! Then you’ll really have something to be embarrassed about!”
This comment made Mikuru look down, a bit teary-eyed.
Ms. Asahina, don’t worry, you’ll always be the best –and cutest- maid ever. Even if you are a little clumsy; that’s what makes you charming.
“KYON! What the heck!” Haruhi made spitting noises. “This is the worst tea I’ve ever tasted! I can barely even tell it’s tea; it tastes like hot water!”
“If you don’t like it, don’t drink it. It’s your fault I’m even serving you.”
Why can’t I just get this over with? It’s only increasing my already high-level of anger at Haruhi.
I need to get revenge in a way that won’t make Haruhi mad enough to destroy anything…
And that’s when Kyon had an idea. What does Haruhi hate the most about life? Being normal, of course.
“Great, Kyon, now I have to go and make MYSELF some tea. All this extra work would have been avoided if you had just been able to do it right!”
While Haruhi was distracted with making herself tea, Kyon snuck over to where his clothes where lying on the ground. Rummaging through his pockets, he finally grabbed a hold of his phone.
“Oh, Haruhi, could you come here?” Kyon asked as he walked toward her, knowing it would cause the girl to turn around.
And just as she did turn around, he lightly kissed her on the lips.
And just as he kissed her on the lips, he quickly snapped a picture of them on his phone.
And right after he snapped a picture with his phone, he heard a loud SLAP! before he felt a numbing pain in his right cheek.
“Just what the hell do you think you’re doing, Kyon?! You can’t just sneak up on people like that, and then… do what you did!” Haruhi yelled.
“I think I was getting blackmail, Haruhi. If I post THIS around the school, people will start talking about how ‘Haruhi Suzumiya is in a normal, teenage relationship.”
Kyon really hoped his blackmailing would work; because if he DID have to post the pictures around the school, it would not only embarrass Haruhi, but himself. Even more so.
Kyon continued. “So, Haruhi, I want you to remove all of those pictures around the school and promise to never post anything like it again. Otherwise, THIS picture will replace THOSE pictures.” Kyon smiled smugly, giving Haruhi a taste of her own medicine.
“I… I promise.” Haruhi shook with anger, her voice low. She growled at him, “I also promise that I will personally see to it that every limb on your body is ripped apart one by one by my bare hands if you don’t start running. I will give you ten seconds to get away.”
Kyon didn’t expect this.
“Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven…”
SLAM!
Kyon ran as fast and as far away as he could. In his maid’s costume.
Haruhi stopped shaking and looked up at the door. She softly pressed her fingers to her lips, feeling where Kyon’s had been a couple of seconds ago.
Breaking her out of her thoughts, Koizumi spoke up.
“Ms. Suzumiya, if I may ask now that Kyon’s gone, as I didn’t want to anger him anymore while he was here, do you have any idea why he came to school in his pajamas? I’m afraid I’ve thought about it and can’t seem to come up with an answer…”
“I stole his uniform.” Haruhi replied, still dazed.
“I apologize if this comes across as rude, but might I ask why you stole them?”
“I… I don’t know.”
==========================================================================
A/N:
I don’t know. That’s all I can say. ._.
I’m not even sure that kissing Haruhi would be considered revenge, or if she’d get that worked up about it, but whatever. I don’t know why there was even that little bit of HaruKyon, because I really don’t like it.
Constructive criticism is appreciated! <3
