I'm so lost in life what am I supposed to do. I screwed up in high school so now I have no scholarships no college will accept me because of my GPA. Idk what to do now I'm thinking about joining the military because they would pay for college and good income, but the thing is I'm scared that I will have to kill some one and I KNOW for a fact I could not do that. So what other option do I have, stay here and move in in with a friend Paige but for that I have to get a job and it is HELLA hard to get a job right now. There is also the fact that if I do that me and my GF are going to be split up and I just dont see it working, because as previously stated I'm a slacker loser thing that no good at any thing, and she is a straight A student who has been excepted in to a good college and who has scholarships. It just does seem right to her cause I know whats going to happen she going to find a guy there who is going to be this great guy and have a future and I'm just going to get left in the dust. It hurts really bad to think about it but I dont want to break up with her, I cant, and I know she doesn't want to but I dont see how its going to work sometimes I dont even understand why she still even want me all I am is a incompetent jack-ass. I hate how everything seems to have turned out when ever I make a big discussion it seem to back fire into my face leave not knowing what the hell to do next. I feel like I'm losings my mind I think HORRIBLE thoughts some times, I want a bad habit so I have a way to get all of these thoughts out but i cant smoke any more, I cant cut any more I cant drink any more i cant burn my felt anymore I can do drugs. I dont know how to get it all out and is messing with my head. I'm so lost in life idk what to do. IDK. Some one help please.