I usually don't go for email forwards and all that cause they annoy the hell out of me, but this one my father-in-law sent was pretty amusing, so I thought I’d share the fun-ness of it.
Oh, and Happy (early) Memorial Day to my fellow Americans out there!! Stay safe and have fun tomorrow eh?
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Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you ' ll have to pee.
Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act
Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won ' t work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance.. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss (or wife) will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don ' t make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
