Mystery Naruto Theatre 3000: Chapter 415

Oh, crap. Sasuke's bleeding Shenanigan eye is staring straight at me like it's about to pop out. I can already tell how much I'm going to enjoy tearing this chapter asunder. So anyway, Sasuke literally stares at the Demon Ox until it catches on fire. Apparently Itachi didn't manage to give him anything new with that eye transplant. The Ox goes into a conveniently-placed ocean to try to extinguish the flames while Sasuke does the same, but with blood and his eye. Also, Sasuke can now fire lasers out of his fingertips. Go die, Sasuke.

The good news, however, is that Karin is now on fire with that inextinguishable stuff that Sasuke used. Maybe she'll burn to death and we'll be rid of her finally! Unfortunately, Sasuke cares about her for some reason. Apparently he missed all the attempted sexual assault, sweaty shirt stealing and that creepy biting thing. He puts out the flames and has Juugo go get her. Juugo does this by ripping off the neighboring Jump title's resident rubber pirate. Kishi, your manga is a cancer rivaling that of the Movie movies.

Sasuke finishes putting out the flames and retrieves the black guy. He's black, you know. Kishi likes to remind us of that a lot, doesn't he? Anyway, those Jounin from the last chapter are still standing on the cliffs watching Hawkatsuki OHKO their resident demon instead of assaulting them while they're weakened and battered. They decide to tell the Raikage that his brother has been battered like a chicken wing and dragged off to be exorcised and left to die. I hope he's not a shoot the messenger kind of guy.

Thankfully, we cut back to the slightly more tolerable main character. Apparently, he's mastered the oil. Now he must try it without frog narcotics. Fukusaku awards Naruto for coming this far with a special gift: Jiraya's first smut fanfiction. It's called "The Legend of the Gutsy Ninja." Because Kishi's creativity pool drained back in the Zabuza arc. Chapter end.

End