LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST
Can you tell I am excited for the new season/the final season? It won't answer every question ("Can we just pretend Walt never existed??"), but it will answer all the important questions, and that's what matters. Hopefully we get a heaping helping of epic along the way -- Lost deserves to end with the best season yet.
Anyway, as always, here are my random thoughts/crappy jokes for the first episode! I'd time code these, but, well, you know.
-- Longest explosion ever.
-- Cindy's really happy even though she hasn't been in the past two seasons.
-- There are definitely going to be no problems in this flight.
-- JACK'S A VAMPIRE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
-- WTF MINDSCREW
-- Also, is it bad that I'm kinda gay for Desmond now? No? OK, good.
-- "You want another race, motherfucker?"
-- Whoa, that zoom was kinda crazy.
-- Never before has the title card been more appropriate.
-- I think the bomb blew them up into another dimension.
-- They couldn't switch Kate for Juliet just once when replaying this? Once? For me?
-- Damn, she held on.
-- Maybe if Kate can't hear, she won't speak. I can only hope.
-- Argh, she can hear again. Damn it all.
-- Ghostbuster~~~
-- "We're back ... to the future."
-- "You mean I'm NOT on a plane with Desmond?! SON OF A BITCH"
-- LOL Owned.
-- That is some hilarious climbing.
-- Good work, douchebutt.
-- Sawyer: "I had a JOB and everything, asshole!!"
-- "lol sup hottie"
-- Haha, this is just what the hell.
-- Oh yeah, Jin knows English.
-- "That's a great idea! Let's nuke the wound!"
-- Dude, she's in pieces, she can't hear you.
-- No, don't shoot him, Hurley!!
-- Hi, ghost!Jacob!
-- Also, Sayid better not die, damn it.
-- "That's gross. Tell those old people to stop."
-- It's Boone's annual cameo! Hi!
-- Boone would eat those words later.
-- Ben is having an existential crisis.
-- Ben is just a messenger boy now. Boo, evil!Locke!
-- "GO TO YOUR ROOM, BEN!!!!!!!"
-- Sawyer makes some weird noises.
-- I love Jacob already!
-- ... Do I want Juliet dead now? Hm.
-- "This man is a moderately famous bassist!"
-- My sister: "They brought back Charlie to kill him again immediately? That sucks."
-- "GIMME BACK MY DRUGS"
-- "Sorry ... I already signed to be on another series ..."
-- "Listen to my crazy premonitions for once!!"
-- Jack just got outleadered by Hurley. This is a new low for him.
-- I think Ben's sleeping on the couch tonight.
-- They were depending on a fat check from Jacob to pay off their gambling debts.
-- ... Well, that's not good.
-- Damn, Smokey is a genius.
-- ... Well, that just threw a big fat load of crazy into things.
-- A big fat load of crazy that makes sense. Also, my brother and sister just made fun of me for barely realizing this. :(
-- And Sawyer lifts Juliet up, and she's a torso.
-- Jack: "Fuck, I'm boned."
-- This is the life they'll never have. Thanks, guys!
-- "Get out the night sticks. We have some beatings to hand out."
-- Saywer looks over at Jack for a moment, bumps his knee into the seat. "YOU DID THIS TO ME"
-- Sayid's having a nice, blood loss-induced nap.
-- "We were delivered a different corpse."
-- My sister: "You have to go back, Jack."
-- "We really should have thought this plan through."
-- So, who had "1:10" written down for how much time it would take Kate to get lost for the first time this season?
-- Locke is the head of the Taliban!!
-- "Not my prize spring!!"
-- "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SPRINGS! WEE WOO!"
-- This guy is the worst cop ever.
-- Cue Xellos: "That ... is a secret."
-- Sawyer is making this very uncomfortable.
-- "Just get off my ass, Boss."
-- "Whoa, she was freaky!"
-- Where's Sawyer to nickname this guy Genghis?
-- "THESE ARE NOT THE NAMES AT ALL"
-- Life sucks for some of the Losties in this alternate dimension.
-- Genghis is just glad someone actually has a real injury when he's starting up the spring this time. Usually someone is like, "Man, I sprained my ankle ... can you kick up the spring for me??"
-- Hey, look, a Jesus who is actually BROWN for once!
-- Can we drown Kate next?
-- "It's a success! ... Wait, I was just talking about the muffins I have in the oven. Your friend is dead."
-- Kate just got lost in the airport.
-- Someone's going to fire arrow Frogurt to jump the cab line.
-- "Here are the children. Eat them."
-- "America sucks!!!!!!!!!!!"
-- That's their "Jacob is dead!" rocket.
-- "That douche was always confused."
-- "Where's your home?" "Mars." "... Oh."
-- "They lost my coffin, man."
-- "Was your father in the carry-on?"
-- "... Well, shit."
-- Ben: "I TOLD YOU!!! I TOLD ALL OF YOU!!!!"
-- DON'T KILL RICHARD ALPERT!!!!!!!!!!
-- "Oh, GOD, what did I drink last night??"
After the initial mindscrew, I guessed pretty early that the alternate scenes where the Losties in another dimension. I'm sure the Losties from another dimension are quite pleased to go back to their mostly shitty lives. I know Sawyer is all "ZETSUBOUSHITA" over Juliet biting it (I am, too, believe me), but I'm not really looking forward to Sawyer growing into himself again. My siblings and I were ragging on his "YOU DID THIS, JACK" face the whole time. He looked like a Southern Geico caveman.
EDIT: Also, Lindelof and Cuse have confirmed that the alternate timeline stuff will continue through the season. They have also noted that they don't refer to it as an "alternate" timeline, because that implies one of the timelines is real, and the other is not. Interesting.
Anyway, I'm glad Sayid is alive, although knowing this show and Jacob's shifty, mysterious ways, Sayid is probably possessed by Jacob or something. Jacob seems cool and all, but I wouldn't want some old guy taking over my body. Oh well. Sayid needs to survive as long as possible, so whatever. Guess he'll have to bear having a roommate for the time being. Hope the rent isn't too much.
Interesting that Evil Locke is the smoke monster. It makes a lot of sense, of course (corpse Christian, anyone?), but it's also weird since Ben, a representative of the Others, seemed to have some control over him. But I guess Evil Locke was just pretending all along like a douche. And maybe the random corpse possession is just because he's an asshole. Dick.
