Sawyer episodes normally bring the goods, so I'm hoping tonight's won't be any different. Let's get started!
-- Oh, hey, Sawyer and Jin still exist. Fancy that.
-- Sawyer's trying to recruit more people to Evil Locke's side. Blah.
-- YEAH, GO HI YOURSELF, KATE wait what
-- Fangirl bait lol
-- lol Where have we seen this before? :p
-- Haha, I wonder if Locke's dad married a much younger woman? :O
-- HOLY CRAP THIS IS AWESOME
-- MILES/SAWYER BUDDY COP SHOW YES YES YES YES YES
-- "Time for baby to get some milk!"
-- SHOOT KATE SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT HER
-- "They're all dead, dumbass."
-- "By the way, by 'black smoke', I mean me."
-- "As long as you don't piss me off. Otherwise, I'll black smoke you."
-- Lookin' for Mr. Cooper. lolz
-- Sawyer's planning some Ana Lucia-style vengeance.
-- "A date with me! In this fan fiction some fans are writing, anyway."
-- Miles is a Lakers fan? I knew I liked that guy!
-- Yeah, that's some sound reasoning. "I just want to get off the island, so I killed everyone. Fun!"
-- Their canoe gets its own jungle drums.
-- Man, Charlotte looks pretty hot. Sawyer should be glad Miles hooked him up.
-- "No, seriously, do you have a whip?"
-- "OK, time to think up the biggest lie in history."
-- And Sawyer's shirt flies off his body.
-- Oh, hey! Those are books Sawyer read on the island! Ha ha ha!
-- Why is Charlotte spying on Sawyer like a creeper?
-- "I'm not recommending you to any of my Geology-minded friends."
-- "Had some good times here ... hangin' in the cage ... drinking water ... eating pellets ..."
-- YEAH KILL HER KILL HER KILL HER
-- JUST WATCH SAYID, COME ON
-- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EVIL LOCKE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
-- I THINK IT'S TOTALLY APPROPRIATE, ACTUALLY
-- Oh, goody, the sound of flies munching on corpses.
-- "J/K NOT DEAD LOL"
-- Must be pretty fun on this side of the island.
-- "I'M FROM DRIVE SHAFT"
-- "That's it -- our buddy cop show is off!"
-- "There goes my bonus."
-- Recruitin' time, yaaaaaaaaaay!
-- Kate's in The Box from Recess.
-- Don't apologize to her.
-- Ugh. Why do you have to keep Kate safe? This sucks.
-- Haha, what a surprise, this was all faked.
-- "I'm gonna send you to a different island, where there's a lot more torture."
-- I blame Kate for Aaron having a crazy mother.
-- A lot of people sure fit into that submarine.
-- Hey, watching Little House on the Prarie. Way to spend a lonely night.
-- "Well, you can't drink sunflowers, so I guess I'll just keep the beer ..."
-- "I'm glad you know of me!"
-- "Wait, you're listening to that douche? LOL"
-- "... And that is?"
-- Please, let this be fake contriteness!
-- Hug ... and then knife in the back!
-- Booooooooooooooooooooo
-- "You gonna man up and not bitch out to them?"
-- Sawyer has to be working something.
-- "... So we're NOT going to the Lakers game right now?"
-- "Actually, I want to help you. I never use this gun!"
-- ... Holy crap. That was scary.
-- SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT HER
-- "I found your mom's plane."
-- Ugh. Sawyer, why must you make my stomach knot with disgust?
-- Worst. Plan. Ever.
Not a bad episode, although I'm sad that the Sawyer/Miles Buddy Cop Hour did not lead to better things. I mean, Sawyer goes out with chicks and tries to kill the real Sawyer like every weekend. We needed to see them on drug busts and breaking up prostitution rings and whatnot, all the while exchanging witty banter. And if Sawyer could imitate David Caruso along the way, then all the better.
Do I even need to complain about all the potential times Kate could have been killed? Well, it doesn't matter, because I'm doing it anyway. So many wasted opportunities. And Evil Locke has shot way up my most hated characters list for breaking up that fight between Crazy Claire and Kate. What the hell, man? Is Kate really going to be of any use to you? If anything, she'll make Sawyer's penis do all the thinking and get him to betray you. What an idiot. At least Sayid did the sensible thing and decided not to interfere in that little spat at all.
I do wonder what Sawyer's real motive is. He does seem to be truthful when he talks about putting Widmore and Evil Locke up against each other; however, I don't think he is planning to take Kate along with him at all -- or maybe I just hope that's not what he is planning on doing. Kate absolutely cannot survive this series. She doesn't deserve it at all. What the hell has she done in six seasons aside from be retarded and take up space? Nothing, that's what. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck her.
Next week is a Richard Alpert episode. Should go down like gangbusters. Looking forward to it!
