Name: Nikki
Age: 27
DOB: Nov. 24 1986
Height: 5ft roughly - What? I'm short
Believe in Love at First Sight: No.
Relationship Status: Single / Don't care
Here lately, I've come to discover, it doesn't matter whether I get married or not. It doesn't even matter if I stay single. Thing is, I may or may not be ready for it. What's important is being content with what you have.
I have a lot of favorite anime, but a few of them include: Code Geass, Trigun, Fullmetal Alchemist and Fairy Tail.
Favorite music: rock / hard rock / heavy metal, pop - I like things that people have said doesn't fit me.
My all time favorite band is the old Guns N' Roses. The new one sucked. End of story.

Why Can't People Come See Me?

You know what? I'm tired of always having to go see anyone I want to see myself. I wish someone would make time to come here to see me. I mean, I've made an effort twice to see some people I want. Why do people keep coming up with excuses why they can't come down to see me? No, it may not be too cheap, but that's why you save up for when you think you might want to go. This is why long distance relationships never work. Both parties have to work together to meet up, and it shouldn't be one person going to see the other all the time. I'm not in a relationship, just saying. To make something work, it takes effort. I think it's time for someone to come see me. Why am I always the one who has to travel somewhere to see you? And the fun part is when you're 30 minutes away from town, and you're on time, but the people you want to meet with always have some excuse why they're late or can't make it. Planning... that's something I try to get people to do with me all the time, and it seems it's too hard for people to do. Yeah, people are busy. That's why we plan for what will work best for both parties. Also, if I'm willing to meet you half-way, why can't you meet me half-way? I'd really appreciate it if people were willing to work with me sometimes. I mean, I have a crazy schedule, but there has to be some time you can fit for spending time with me. I make time in my schedule to spend with people when they want to. I was even willing to take time off from work to go spend time with some people. Every time I ask someone, it's always, "No, I can't make it" "My schedule is too full" or "I don't have any money." I work in retail. You think I don't have the same problems? So far, nobody has been willing to even meet me half-way. The other annoying thing I run across is when I'm trying to get people to plan things with me, and they don't even want to do anything. Both times I traveled to meet people, I did all the planning, and I was coming to visit.

The Real Me

I wonder if the me the world sees is the real me, or if I'm really a bad person putting on a face, a wolf in sheep's clothing. What / who am I? Am I really the good person others see me as? There is a demon that lurks underneath, and maybe he's just rearing his ugly head, looking to devour me, but I have to wonder if it's really me.

Snow Patrol - Run lyrics

So, I really love this song. Ever since one of my friends shared it with me, I've been in love with it. As such, I think I'll post the lyrics to it. I know I've posted the video, but I kind of wanted to post this too. I think it's nice to hear and read.

"Run"

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want's to find an easy way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart, my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Thanks to Steve Thomson, Leah Depot, DiceG0ddess, PETERJEWITT for correcting these lyrics.

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A Little Rant

Something I have to vent off because I get tired of reading these things. Anytime there's some video I'm watching, in the comments there's always a comment about religion. Really? Why are we dragging religion into it? Why can't you comment on the subject of the video or post comments about what is being talked about? I'm sorry, but for instance, why is it anything related to magic like a TV show or whatever that even remotely has anything to do with magic suddenly has something to do with Wicca? It's a TV show / anime / movie or whatever. It has nothing to do with Wicca! Maybe there are some similarities to some things you practice or whatever, but just because it's about magic does not mean it has anything to do with Wicca! And this is not just coming from people that have no idea what Wicca is. This is also coming from people who practice it. It's Hollywood magic, and your magic has to do with nature. I mean maybe Harry Potter MIGHT have some themes present in Wicca, but it has nothing to do with Wicca. J.K. Rowling is not a Wiccan, and she didn't intend it to have any ties to the religion whatsoever. I would not have to comment on this except I was watching a commentary on a certain show, and they happen to be mystical warriors and use magic, and somehow this HAS to have something to do with Wicca. No. It's a TV show. End of story. It's the same with music videos. Just because a music video is by a Black Metal / Death Metal band or it's by a Christian band, it doesn't mean you have to start a fight about your religion or other religions or some B.S. like that. Enjoy it or don't. If you don't like it, then why are you there? I'm sorry, but I hate how people always have to bring up religion about everything including TV shows, music videos, movies, anime and I'm sure some video games. It's annoying. No, I am not trying to bash any religion, it's just this particular show I was watching a commentary on involved magic so there had to be a comment about tying it to Wicca.

"The final great ceremony in each human's life."

Well, okay the quote is about a funeral, but I'm talking about what comes before that, and that is once a person closes their eyes and takes their final breath. Now, I've thought about this quite a bit, but after watching "Black Butler", I have to question even more what it will be like to die. Now dying itself won't be too bad, I don't think. I don't know if it'll be painful or what, but I kind of know what it's like not be able to breathe, and that was the worst feeling in the world. I think one's life does flash before their eyes because I kind of think mine started to when I got chocked on my food that time. I couldn't breathe... If it hadn't have been for the percussion instructor in our band, I might not be here right now, and my tombstone would've read November 24, 1986-August _____, 2009. I would've been 23. But the focus here is what exactly happens once a person takes their last breath and their heart ceases to function and brain activity shuts down? Nobody will really know until death and that is the scariest part. I am paranoid of falling into my eternal sleep and waking up in Hell. Although, lol "Black Butler" pretty much said Hell was not bad. I doubt that, but I'm religious, so... Anyways, if one burns over and over in agonizing fire in Hell, I'd hate to wake up and realize I'm there. Of course, I'd want to see people I know in Heaven too. I'm hoping I won't be alone, and someone will guide me either to Heaven or Hell. Although, if I get guided to Hell, I'm pretty sure I'd cry. I don't want to die alone either. I do hope when I die, I'm with some people I know. However I die, whether in a hospital, at home or by murder somehow, I want to have someone beside me. Dying alone sounds scary. Maybe if someone holds my hand, it won't be so bad. What happens when a soul departs this world is what scares me. I know I shouldn't be scared because I should just believe I am saved by God's grace, but I don't know... That said, I would never give my soul over to a demon just to be devoured by him / her. Alois is different. His brother made a contract with a demon, so him wanting a demon to devour him isn't as bad. I could understand why. Back to the subject, really I ought to focus on my life here, and yet, I find myself wondering about death.