Name: Nikki
Age: 27
DOB: Nov. 24 1986
Height: 5ft roughly - What? I'm short
Believe in Love at First Sight: No.
Relationship Status: Single / Don't care
Here lately, I've come to discover, it doesn't matter whether I get married or not. It doesn't even matter if I stay single. Thing is, I may or may not be ready for it. What's important is being content with what you have.
I have a lot of favorite anime, but a few of them include: Code Geass, Trigun, Fullmetal Alchemist and Fairy Tail.
Favorite music: rock / hard rock / heavy metal, pop - I like things that people have said doesn't fit me.
My all time favorite band is the old Guns N' Roses. The new one sucked. End of story.
- Created By shortcrazygirl
Why Didn't You Fight For It?
So, okay I probably didn't do too well on my job interview today, but I turn to another question. This question I've been pondering for a while now, and I have to ask it now. If I was so important to you, why didn't you fight for it? In other words, why didn't you try to keep things going? You didn't even try to hang on to me. I don't get it. I couldn't have been that important to you, or you would've tried to hang on. I don't know... maybe I'm to blame because maybe I'm the one who didn't fight for it. I didn't beg you to stay. I more or less said, if that's what you want. See, but I thought that's what I should do. I should respect your wishes and just let go. That's what most people do, right? This sounds so dumb to want someone to fight to keep you, and I'm sure I've talked about it before, but I do. I want someone to try to fix whatever problem exits and want to hang on to me. I still can't get what you said to me out of my head. It plays over and over again. You said it wasn't me, but why do I feel like I went wrong somewhere? Couldn't you have told me? You know, I'm not even sure why I'm even writing this because most of the time, my heart is wrong anyway, and I feel the wrong way about someone. Meaning, I feel like they might like me, but they don't. The one time I did finally gain feelings for someone in return, and I knew he felt the same way, I let it slip through my fingers. Why? I failed as a girlfriend. I couldn't be the kind of woman that a girlfriend should be, and I'm still not. The next time I get the idea someone might like me, I'm going to let him do the talking. I don't want to guess wrong and wind up disappointed yet again. I hope whatever guy falls in love with me next, and I fall in love with in return will fight to keep it going.
Good job? Yeah... Not Happening
So, I'm pretty sure I just blew my phone interview. Gah... I'm never going to get a good job at this rate. I can not interview to save my life. I'm going to be stuck at this dead end job with no insurance the rest of my life. I am such an idiot. The only way I'm getting out of this job is if someone just gives me a better job, and I don't have to interview for it. That's not going to happen. All they're going to do is laugh and write down how they should just throw out my application because she gives horrible answers and isn't worth looking at.
Gone Away
It's so sad when you get on facebook one day and you read one of your favorite department managers and former CSMs lost her husband. It's also sad when you get on the next day and you find out a girl you used to go to church with lost her husband. She's fairly young like close to my age. To top that off, my best friend's mother-in-law might not make it. She's in the hospital. I'm pretty sure since this is going on, I'll cancel my plans with her tomorrow and make it up another day. She needs to be with her husband and his mom. I hope for the best. I hope her mother-in-law pulls through. She was such a nice lady when I met her, but unfortunately, all I can do is ask God to help them. I have no control over the situation. Sorry if I offend anyone reading this, but I believe God is the master of the universe, and he knows exactly what he's doing even if we don't understand. It's another reminder you need to hang on to those you care about because you aren't promised tomorrow. Such sad times.
I Want to Feel Wanted
So yeah, it says I don't care whether I'm in a relationship, and for a while, that statement had been true. I was learning to be content, and it didn't matter to me whether I found someone or not. Here recently though, those feelings have changed. I was thinking about a few guys. One of them I just was with online, and it wasn't too long before he said he just wanted to be friends. It lasted maybe a month. Then, there was the guy I went out with once, and I ended it right after that because I was put off by him. Then, there was the guy that took me on two dates, and it ended after that. He again said we were better off as friends. I went on the most memorable date ever, but it was over before it even got started. I went to the ballet with him. Oh, and then there's the last guy. This guy was a creep and only wanted to use me for his own pleasure. I ended it with him after I realized what a jerk he was. That didn't last long either. I went on maybe three dates with him. The thing is, I've come to realize, I've never actually been in a relationship. I can't help but feel a slight twinge of jealousy when I see my friends in happy relationships or getting married. The truth of it is, I want to feel wanted. I want to feel like I'm someone's everything. Maybe I'm just a boring girl or something, and that's why guys just see me as a friend, but I'm tired of always being on the back burner or at the bottom of the list. For once, it would be nice to have someone want me. I want to feel loved. I know my friends and family love me, but that's not the same. I want it to last beyond a few phone calls or messages online. I want it to last more than just a few dates. I don't care if it's just once. I'd like to be in a serious relationship at least once.
Lol Stole Quiz Again
1: Picture of yourself:
Me in December: [URL=http://s1138.photobucket.com/user/AnyaAlstreimGeass/media/Nikki-Me_zpseb310074.jpg.html]
2: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?
Monogamous. It's not a "relationship" if it's open.
3: Have you ever been dumped?
Yeah, but they never give me a chance.
4: What do you most like about making out?
idk
5: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?
Yeah, but it wasn't sex.
6: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?
The other.
7: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?
Never actually thought about that.
8: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?
Jose or "Joey"
9: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?
Nope.
10: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?
Nope.
11: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?
lol When I got told I was a good kisser once. But yeah... that was the only time I was told that. I don't know really.
12: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?
Hmm, that depends on the guy.
13: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?
Yes, but I was convinced this guy was too young for me when he told me, so I just saw him as a friend. However, my feelings changed, and I developed feelings for him, so I asked him to be my boyfriend. I would say I asked him out, but it was long distance, so we couldn't actually date. One other guy here more recently, but almost a year ago told me he has liked me since college, but I barely knew him really in college. I mean, I thought he was a nice guy, but that's about it. We were friends, but we weren't close friends. We went on one date, but it ended after that because I was put off by him.
14: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?
A few friends.
15: Do you miss your last sweetie?
I didn't have one. The last guy I dated was a jerk, so no.
16: Last time you slow danced with someone?
Valentine's Day and a few days later. I took a couple of dancing lessons.
17: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?
Like online? Well, not really, no. XD I didn't know you could. Well, unless you just Skype, but even then, shouldn't you at least try to meet together just once? Although, every time I try to make plans to meet the guy, he can't just meet me half-way, or he says he's going to meet me, and he never does.
18: How can I win your heart?
Just be yourself. Be patient, kind, understanding and listen to me. Don't just ask me to do things you want to do. Or better yet, don't force me to do something you want because it gives you pleasure. I'm not there for you to use me. Also, give me a chance. I mean, maybe I don't have much experience, but I try, and I want to learn to be a good girlfriend, but how can I do that if you decide not too long after you agree to be my boyfriend or after a few dates, you just want to be friends? It hurts when I see all these other people "in relationships", and technically, I haven't even had one relationship. Don't make promises you can't keep. Act like you want to keep me. I should be your everything, and somehow, I've never felt like I'm someone's everything. I don't feel like men want to keep me. I don't know if this means I'm boring or what this means, but I have never felt wanted.
19: What is your astrological sign?
Sagittarius
20: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
Trying to sleep.
21: Do you cook?
No.
22: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?
Well, I'm still friends with some people I've liked, so does that count? lol
23: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?
Yes.
24: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?
I date one guy at a time, or I try to. Dating is different though. I think if you're just going out with someone, and you're not serious, you're free to date others. However, if you're actually in a relationship, you should just be with him or her because you're really doing them a disservice if you go off with other people. This is where defining boundaries comes into play. Usually though, I date one guy at a time.
25: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?
I don't really pay too much attention to physical traits.
26: Name four things that you wish you had:
A better job
My own life
Friends who lived closer to me
Health / Dental insurance
27: Are you a player?
No.
28: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?
No.
29: Are you a tease?
No.
30: Ever meet anyone you met on theO?
Nope.
31: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?
Hmm not really. More like I've been infatuated, but since I've never been given a chance, I haven't been able to actually fall in love.
32: Anybody on theO that you’d go on a date with?
IDK
33: Hugs or Kisses?
Hugs I guess. Not sure on kisses just yet.
34: Are you too shy to ask someone out?
Yeah. I've only been brave about it once, but lol I rehearsed what I was going to ask before I asked. I even asked a friend for his advice.
35: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Their smile?
36: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?
Sure?
37: . If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?
Maybe, but I'd ask him how he felt about her first. If he expressed that he loved her, but liked me, I'd tell him, he should be with her.
38: Do you flirt a lot?
No.
39: Your last kiss?
Almost a year ago.
40: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2011?
No.
41: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?
No.
42: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
No idea.
43: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?
No clue.
44: Does someone like you currently?
No idea.
45: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?
Not sure.
46: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
Serious.
47: Ever made out with just a friend?
? lol I've kissed a friend in his car. Does that count?
48: Are you happier single or in a relationship?
Not sure really.
