After watching a music video by 30 Seconds From Mars, I've discovered that I'm starting to want to feel physical affection. I don't mean necessarily sex, sex, but some physical affection from a man. I don't know what I could do for him, but I'd try. The actual sex part would come during marriage for me of course, but I don't know... even though my Christian convictions have made me feel like maybe all that kind of thing was wrong, I'm starting to change my mind some. I mean, yeah, I wouldn't want to go to Hell, but as of late, I can't help but wonder what some of this is like. The strange thing is that I've never actually wanted anyone in that way. For me, it's usually just emotional and maybe like a kiss, hug, holding his hand, that kind of thing. Although, I don't know... I'm kind of...well...behind everyone else it seems.