Dattebayo, everyone! My name is Uzumaki Naruto and I will be Hokag-

Sorry, but this isn't the world you are about to stay on. If you want adventures of Naruto Uzumaki, leave now. But if you like funky demons, music bands, mating, cool ninjustu, and awesome stories, then stay here...

Now back to the Intro...

Helllllllloooooooo Otaku! The name's Shukaku Ichibi.

Anyway, you have seen Gaara's past, present, and future. But that's not even the true story. Let me tell you what I've been through. No kistune-teme or demonhaters allowed! Have fun!!!

Kyuubi is here too. So he's gonna post here as well. T_T Why me? We run a biju club together. I hope you love both of us as we play and fight on the comic, club, and now, this world! My biju friends made their worlds as well...

Nekomata's Blogger
Hachi's Relm
Raijuu's World
Suki and Shane's World
Once Upon a Time...(Taki's World)
Storm's World
Chiyoko's Box
Yurikami's Dark Corner
Tobe's World
Dizzy's Blog

~Shukaku the Sand Spirit

Great News and Bad News

The bad news is that I died and somehow Teme cares...Now he really respects me-

Kyuubi:Hell no. I just thankful you saved my ne-chan.

Whatever. The great news is that ever since I went into the OC house, I've got fans.

Kyuubi:No way.

Yes way. In fact I made a list of my mates:

My Mates
1.)Jessica~Shared Mate with Gaara/my student
2.)Yurikami~Made by Naomi/First Biju to love me
3.)Valerie~AKA vdr-07/creator of Raijuu/one of my fans
4.)Ichigo~made by CK, the creator of Suki/first jinchuriki to love me
5.)Tora~Neka's friend/loves to travel and drink sake
6.)Tomoya(Mew Azuki)~made by Luna Chan/first Mew Mew/loved my band and my singing

Kyuubi:Impossible! You're dead, yet you have girls that love you.


Kyuubi:No...I have Suki. I will not envy you because you have more than me. I have more than you, yeet I am suffering.

That's it!*chokes Kyuubi*

Kyuubi:*punches me in the gut*

To be continued....


Life of a Funky Demon

All demons and Humans alike have pasts. Some have good pasts, while others are very horrible. This story however is different. It all starts a long time ago in the Sand Village Hospital. A brown haired godess named Karura walked with a baby in hand. The baby had blue eyes and purple hair. Just then, the baby cried loudly.

"Shh, it's okay Jessica," Karura cooed her fifth baby that she had just given birth to, "Mommy's going to bring you back. I promise." She ran out of the hospital and met her former teammate. The man in white clothing had blonde hair and black eyes. His name was Shukaku Ichibi.

"Karura-Chan, what's wrong?" asked Shukaku. Karura panted out her breath.

"The Third Kazekage is missing. Another person is going to steal his place! I want you at all costs to take care of Jessica, please!" Karura pleaded. She placed Jessica in Shukaku's arms, then ran back to the Hospital. Shukaku ran with Jessica in hand. He ran and ran until he bumped into a man who was holding magical potions.

"My potions! You idiot!!!" The man yelled at the clumsy preist before him. One particular potion spilled on Shukaku's whole body.

"Sorry What's-your-face, I don't have time for this!" Shukaku yelled back as he ran out of the village.

"I'm the fourth Kazekage, don't you forget that." The man said mumbling. Those were the last words Shukaku heard before he was running in the desert. To make matters worse, a giant sandstorm started to kick in. What the hell!? Shukaku thought. With his bare hands, he protected the crying Jessica. The sandstorm made contact and Shukaku blacked out.

When the sandstorm finally left, Shukaku opened his eyes to see the full, yellow moon shining above him. Jessica clapped as she saw Shukaku. Shukaku smiled as well and he looked at Jessica in his soft, warm claws....Claws!? Shukaku gasped at the sight of his massive claws. This isn't real....this isn't happening...maybe I should go see myself in the Oasis over there. Shukaku thought as he walked slowly to the palm trees and the lake.

Jessica smiled as Shukaku made a hammock for her to sleep on. Shukaku then looked at his horrible reflection on his body. He was still in his normal height, but he looked like a beige raccoon with blue veins on his skin and yellow eyes with black star pupils. Now it makes sense. The potion, the sand, the moon. That's what caused this monsterous transformation.

"Oh my god," Shukaku finally proclaimed after staring at himself for so long, "What the hell am I?" Suddenly he felt a growing sensation inside him. Quickly, he left the area as soon as possible. In a flash, Shukaku grew up to a one hundred foot tall tanuki. Also, he gained a LOT of weight because of this.

"So much for my 20th birthday..." Shukaku muttered to himself. Jessica, who watched the whole situation, smiled like the biggest idiot in Japan. Shukaku loved to see Jessica's warm face. He picked her with his huge tail.

"You still love me, do you Jessy-Chan?" Shukaku asked, "Now I'm crazy. I'm talking to a baby!" Jessica grabbed one of Shukaku's huge claws with hers. Shukaku looked at this with tears in his eyes. Although he is a monster, one person still liked him. He kissed Jess on the forehead, then put her gently on his head. Suddenly, both their stomachs growled.

"Gee, I'm hungry. I wonder what we could find on this land..." Shukaku said. He then saw the Sand Village ahead. If the village sees him like this, they'll attack for sure. Somehow, Sand started to slither secretly in the village and steal some food.

"I can control sand too? Awesome!" Shukaku yelled excitedly. The sand came back with a heavy load of food. Shukaku ate it all while Jess drank chocolate milk in delight. When all the food was gone, Shukaku was full and happy. He burped, causing an Air Bullet to float in the sky. Jess took a nap. Maybe being a demon wasn't so bad after all.

"Ah, this is the life!" Shukaku relaxed, "Eating, drinking, having a good time. Being a demon really pays off." But he was wrong...

"GET HIM!!!" Someone yelled. Ninja surrounded Shukaku with weapons and clones. Shukaku then saw a familiar face...the fourth Kazekage.

"You!" Shukaku pointed at the man, "You and your stupid potions transformed me!!!" The kazekage nodded and summoned his advisor, Yashamaru.

"Brother-In-Law," Kazekage ordered, "Put this tanuki in the teapot. As for the baby, send her with the poor, useless orphans." Yashamaru nodded, then grabbed Jessica out of Shukaku's claws. Jessica cried.

"No, no, no!" Jessica grunted one of her first words. Shukaku got very angry. He pushed all ninjas aside and plunged towards Yashamaru. Chiyo, the elder, made complicated handsigns.

"Teapot Sealing jutsu!" Chiyo yelled. Shukaku got forced into a large, but tight teapot. After one year, he finally got sealed inside a human boy. But that, my friends, is another story to tell.


Biju Swap Part 3

Wednesday (Gaara/Kyuubi)

Gaara was on a mission with Kankuro, and another sand ninja one which he didn't expect to last long. There were three missing Snow ninja and he and Kankuro were finding out just how tough snow ninja could be. Kankuro's chakra strings were frozen then reabsorbed into the snow ninjas. Adding to their chakra, Karasu had been crushed by an avalanche, and suddenly Gaara found himself encased in ice. He struggled madly, unable to free himself, Kankuro had been knocked unconscious now, and the other ninja was busy keeping off three of the snow ninja.

"Well, well, well," A young woman called out, her eyes and hair were silver. "Look who we have here!" Some of her comrades came over to inspect the man. "It's Sabaku no Gaara." Her comrades blanched,

"Be careful Gin." One warned cautiously, "This kid is dangerous."

"But look. We've got him in our clutches. We could make a name for ourselves just for killing him!"

"Alright, but finish him quick okay?" Said a pink-haired, gold-eyed kunoichi.

"Alright, alright! Geeze you take the fun outta everything ya know that?" The kunoichi called Gin shot back to the agitated girl. She began making hand signs, she was going to crush the whole party in a hell of an avalanche, and Gaara began screaming in his head. "Oh shit! Oh shit! I'm really gonna die this time!"

Kyuubi chuckled to himself,

"Do you really think so low of me boy?" He asked in mock indignation. Gaara suddenly felt a hot blazing fire awakening within him. It burned him, but the power rush was intense! Gaara couldn't hang on much longer, and he began snarling in a terrifying metallic voice. The six snow ninja backed away when they saw the red fiery chakra unfurl around the man, and lashed into nine swirling, writhing tails, the man's eyes turned red, and his pupils were black slits! His roars resounded in the desert, deafening and terrible! The ice around him exploded! Shattering like thin glass, and carving the slowest snow ninja, the smell of their blood filled his nostrils, and Gaara ran on all fours, his nine tails lashing around him like living whips. He had always thought that he was fast with Shukaku! But with Kyuubi behind the wheel, his speed was blinding, his power was less about brute strength, and earth-shattering power, and more about speed agility, and trickery, though it could not be said that Kyuubi lacked brute strength. His long fangs snapped on his victims, ripping them into shreds, he devoured them in the same fashion that a fox devours a mouse, but in a more terrifying manner. The threat gone, Gaara came to. There was blood splashed on his face, and he was panting hard, filled with both exhilaration, and the feeling of someone trying desperately to recall a vivid dream that fades with the morning light.

Wednesday (Naruto/Shukaku)

I think I did a very good job. Naruto was a nervous wreck by now, and his usual cheerful demeanor had been replaced by a nasty attitude, he had spent half of the morning throwing up until there was nothing left in his stomach. He looked like a drug addict and Sakura had asked him if he was drugs. He had bitten her head off of course, and the crazy look in his eye caused his precious Sakura to slink away, muttering darkly under her breath.

Kakashi hadn't been out of his house in a week, for fear of getting mobbed by lust-struck villagers, and Ino and Shikamaru had avoided Naruto like the plague, still unsure of what had happened to them. Naruto was training hard trying to work off the excess energy, he often trained himself to exhaustion, chowed down on more sweets and ran frantic laps around the village half of the day. Naruto felt awful! He was sick, jittery, and exhausted, there were bags under his eyes, and his throat burned from constantly throwing up. If he never saw another piece of candy or drank a soda after he got his beloved Kyuubi back, it would be too soon!

A desperate me had taken refuge the only way I could, sleeping without my ears, I would remove my ears and finally found blessed silence! I never thought I would miss his brat! I couldn't wait to get rid of this brat, and if I never had to digest caffeine and candy again in all of eternity, it would be too soon!

Just as night was falling, Rock Lee saw his friend running and decided to join him, "Ohh Naruto! You look awful! Is something wrong?" Naruto was about to tell Lee, he had to tell someone, but then he saw a flash in the trees, and Kabuto gave him a cheery wave and Naruto felt like he was going to black out, his body became numb, and he could feel me stirring inside of him. Naruto pressed his lips together and shook his head at Lee.

"It's a private bet to see whoever-err-can stay awake for a solid week." He explained, glowering hatefully at Kabuto, who smirked at him. He could feel my disappointment and anger as I retreated.

"Really?" Said Lee, "That is an interesting bet, and a good way to tough it out for long missions! I shall do this with you! Just tell me the stakes and we'll see who can last the longest!!" There was a moment of silence, as Naruto's brain whirred frantically, trying to figure out what to say to Lee.

"Uhh, the loser has to-uhh be the winner's slave for two weeks." Lee grinned,

"Then count me in!" He said jubilantly. Naruto let out a gusty breath almost too tired to respond--almost!

"Sorry Lee," he said apologetically, "but the bet's already started, two days ago in fact." Lee looked crestfallen. Naruto hated to disappoint his friends, and he said "It's okay Lee after I beat the pants off him we'll have our bet next believe it!" Lee cheered up considerably, and the two ran on, Lee shockingly doing most of the chattering, and Naruto beginning to regret having Lee there, his constant chatter and boundless energy was driving Naruto crazy. He was beginning to feel an uncontrollable rage consume him, and I, sick and shaky though I was, took my chance. I began by rattling the cages, and Naruto couldn't contain the Gaara-like snarl that rose from his throat. Lee stopped and snapped his head here and there looking for the red-headed boy who had beaten him at the chunin exams. Lee had not registered that the familiar sound that still haunted his nightmares had come from Naruto.

"Naruto?" He asked in a hushed whisper, "Did you hear-" But Naruto was gone.

Wednesday (Orochimaru and Kabuto)

"Ahh." Murmured Orochimaru to Kabuto, "Things are really getting interesting now. I loved the way Kyuubi's bloodlust took over Gaara, and see how hard Naruto fights for control with Shukaku. Although I don't believe he'll win this fight. Both villages could be destroyed, and I don't even have to lift a finger." Kabuto chuckled, "Shall I make Naruto black out completely?" Orochimaru sighed contemplatively. "Nooo, that would spoil all the fun. I'd like to see this played out fully before it comes to that." "Hn." Kabuto huffed, but didn't argue.

Wednesday Night (Gaara/Kyuubi)

Gaara surveyed the scene of death around him, Kankuro moaned and struggled to regain consciousness, the other sand ninja was staring at him, wide-eyed and confused. He had never seen Gaara in his half-possessed form, but he had seen illustrations of tanuki and knew that they did not have nine lashing tails. Gaara walked over to the man, never in his life had he felt so drained of power, and he felt so empowered at the same time. Kyuubi whispered that this man was a threat, and Gaara raised the enemy nin's sword and killed him without a second thought. He hoisted his brother over his shoulder, and ran for the village.

"Unhh, Gaara what happened?" Gaara snorted, "The enemy is dead, and so is our teammate. They ran him through with a sword." Kankuro grunted then passed out again. After dropping his unconscious brother unceremoniously on the bed, Gaara walked into his room, locked the door and fell fast asleep.

Wednesday Night (Naruto/Shukaku)

Naruto was struggling as he ran home, he was drawing out long rattling breaths, and his vision changed off and on as he and I battled for control. He ducked into a dark alley way, and curled up in a ball. His hands clasped over his hears, trying futilely to shut the tanuki's voice out. I crooned psychotically,

"Give in to it boy, the bloodlust...yes...that's right. Fall asleep and I'll destroy your soul. Hahahahahahahaha!" He could see the tanuki in his mind's eye leering at him, and panting with excitement.

"Shut up lard ass!" Naruto whispered fiercely.

"Kill them all, destroy them, their blood is soo sweet, so delicious. I can feel you salivating...kill them all...kill yourself...fall asleep! You won't have to suffer anymore! I'll kill you!"

"No! No! Shut up you stupid tanuki! Or I'll kill you!" I sneered,

"I'd love to see you try. Pathetic weakling! I'll crush you like a bug!" I had just made a serious error. Naruto screamed, and shoved me down back to where I belonged, but now that I had made my move, Naruto and all he held dear was in danger of becoming extinct!

Wednesday Night (Orochimaru and Kabuto)

"Oh damn!" Said Orochimaru, "The beast almost had him, but like the boy he never bothers to watch his mouth. I sometimes wonder if both boys had been given the wrong Biju? What do you think Kabuto?" Kabuto frowned, "Well, the Biju are more like their current hosts,. Kyuubi is swift, calculating, and deadly like Gaara. Shukaku doesn't have Kyuubi's brains, and goes crashing through everything without thinking, like Naruto. For all that, they balance their hosts out, giving Gaara a deadlier strength pound for pound, and adding a cunning side to Naruto." "Hmm. An interesting observation." Orochimaru nodded his hand on his chin.

To be continued...


Biju Swap Part 2


Kyuubi was nearly bored to tears. He would never have admitted it to a single soul, but he missed Naruto's pranks, and trickery. But-wait a minute! He was a Kitsune after all! This boy's mind had been used to that big lug barraging him all the time with his verbal mind games, in some ways, the boy was easier to manipulate, in other ways his will was like iron. He was positive that Gaara would be defenseless to his illusions. He grinned, now was he was finally going to have some fun!

Kankuro walked silently into the room to see Gaara in a deep, dead sleep! He yelled at the top of his lungs for Gaara to wake up! Gaara woke up! He heard the sound of crashing waves, and his skin got goose bumps from the salty sea air. There was a puppet that looked exactly like Kankuro, being manipulated by his dead father. Gaara snarled in warning, and the puppet-Kankuro stopped.
Kankuro stopped, he had heard Gaara make some frightening noises, but he had never heard that one before. It sounded like an amplified, metallic, rabid dog whose snarling reverberated around the room. Did Gaara's body finally just give out and fall asleep? Kankuro wondered. Did Shukaku finally take over at last? Gaara's demonic snarling got louder and louder. His eyes turned a deep scarlet, with a black slit as a pupil, and fire erupted around him, in a malicious canine-like grin. His mouth was wide, and looked like it could swallow ten people whole without even chewing.

Gaara screamed in anguish...

"You sick bastard! Look what you condemned me too for the rest of my life!" Gaara gathered the sand from the beach, it destroyed Kankuro the puppet and sped towards his father, half of it holding him down, and the other half already rising up like some gruesome monster wave, ready to pile drive into him, and destroy the man who had made him a monster. The sand killed him instantly, and as Gaara stared down, he realized that this man was not his father, but his friend Naruto!

"No! What have I done?" The sky went a horrid shade of electric green, and hail began to rain on him, as he screamed in agony, his body began melting because of the acidic hail, and his lungs began to disintegrate as the putrid green sky filled his nostrils with his death. Gaara woke up drenched in a cold sweat. Kankuro had stood stock-still in the doorway, listening to the demonic, dog-like snarls that Gaara had been emitting in his sleep.

Gaara had to get out of the house! As he walked along the streets of Suna, a plan began to form in his mind, suggested by the Kyuubi, who grinned. Gaara went into the shadows and began forming hand signs he had never made before.

"Sexy jutsu!" Gaara said, and transformed into a stunning, slender, redhead girl. Clouds barely covered his ample bosom, or his shaved crotch and Gaara caught sight of Baki.

"Mmm, hello their strong and handsome." Baki blinked when he saw the young red-head, with the little mouse voice latch onto his arm. Baki couldn't believe what he was seeing! It was like he had stepped into an alternate universe to see a female Gaara standing there with his-no-her leg draped over his shoulder. Baki got a hard-on at that perfect little body, just barely concealed by circling clouds. He shook his head, shoved Gaara away from him and ran screaming into the sunset! Sure he had lost his mind, and disgusted and ashamed that he would pop a boner over any of his students. Sexy-no-jutsu-Gaara went into a fit of tittering giggles. Then Kyuubi let Gaara out.

"Wasn't that fun?" He asked with a grin.

"If you ever do that to me again! I will stab my own heart out and take you down with me!" Kyuubi's only response was his demonic laughter sounding almost merrily (well as merrily as a Biju could sound) in Gaara's head.

Naruto had run to the grocery store to stock up on soda, chocolate, coffee, and caffeine pills as a last resort. Anything to keep him awake! His heart was racing, feeling like it was gonna thump itself right out of his chest. He couldn't stop moving, and he was gasping for breath, I felt like I was being jostled very roughly inside the boy. Shaking, and clanging and making my head pound, making my migraine worse! If that was even possible! A hawk flew into his open window, with a scroll attached to it. It was from Gaara, asking him to write back ASAP to explain Kyuubi to him, and offer advice on how to keep her from possessing him completely.

Naruto was jittery, but forced himself to sit down, and wrote as rapidly as possible, not giving a damn about spelling mistakes. As soon as he the hawk headed back towards Suna. Naruto got up and ran for the bathroom, and puked up the six caffeine pills he had just popped. Naruto felt like shit, and decided to go to the training grounds to work off excess energy. Because he felt so bad, he didn't notice the lunch sack on the ground and stepped on it. Ino began shrieking at him. Naruto growled angrily, and his eyes turned yellow, with circling stars surrounding the pupils. He slammed her into Shikamaru and Choji, who had just entered the training grounds with a sand whip.

"Stop screaming at me, or I'll kill you!" He snarled angrily, then shook his head, and his eyes turned sky blue again, "Hey you guys I'm sorry!"

With that he stalked from the grounds. I glared, it would have gone much better then it did if it wasn't raining, and bogging down the scant supply of sand there was. Naruto ran back to his apartment, he was shaking really hard! He knew he had to watch his temper or else I might get hold of him for good!

Tuesday (Orochimaru and Kabuto)

"Hmmm. Now that's interesting." Observed Kabuto as Orochimaru was coming back to see what his test subjects were doing. "It seems like they're taking in each other's personalities, in their own unique way." "Really?" Asked Orochimaru thoughtfully, "That is interesting. Tell me Kabuto, what did I miss?"

Tuesday Night (Gaara/Kyuubi)

Gaara was sitting out in the moonlight, trying to will himself to relax enough so he could sleep.

"You could always try tiring yourself out boy." Kyuubi suggested slyly. His low voice a mischievous rumble in Gaara's head.

"Will it get you to shut up?" Gaara grumbled murderously.

"Perhaps." Said Kyuubi. "Look down there, I see a statue of your father." Gaara smiled twistedly, he needed little urging from Kyuubi, as he leapt down, towards the statue. He whipped out his sand, and began wringing it out like a wet wash cloth. Blood drizzled down from the sand, splattering the statue. Then he used his sand to lop off the statue's head, as he used his blood-soaked sand to carve and paint the words, 'worthless waste of flesh' at the base, finally at Kyuubi's urging, he unzipped his pants, and pissed on the statue giving it a mock salute, while blushing hotly. Even Kyuubi had to admit that it was the finest bit of vandalism he had seen in a long time, and that was saying a lot, coming from a 900+ year-old kitsune. After all was said and done, he and Kyuubi sat down for a while, the blood splattered on the decapitated head of the last Kazekage looked black in the moonlight. Gaara began to laugh, it was an odd, twisted, sadistic sort of laugh, the kind of laugh that paralyzed people in fright. He sat there for hours, before finally falling asleep in the light of the full moon.

Tuesday Night (Naruto/Shukaku)

Naruto was still jittery from all the crap his body had been forced to take. It made me sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Naruto was sort of bouncing and jiggling up and down, and my migraine was getting unbearable! This kid better not go anywhere near a beach! Or even a sandbox! I thought angrily. Cause if he does I'm gonna beat him within an inch of his life! No wonder he and his container didn't recognize him on sight. Kyuubi must have been in a miraculous coma that whole time...out of necessity!

Naruto caught sight of Jiraiya just then, he frowned and walked over to him. I decided to have a look-see for himself. There were five beautiful women, skinny-dipping in the moonlight. I began whistling. Jiraiya sighed, he was expecting Naruto to start lecturing him, or worse purposely blow his cover. What he did not expect was for Naruto to start wolf-whistling and cat-calling in a voice that was not his own!

"Hey babies! Wanna bring those hot young bodies over here? It's been centuries since I've gotten any action! Weeeehaaaa!!" Jiraiya froze, not only had his cover been broken but there something wrong with that seal!

"Wait here Naruto!" He growled in his ear, and in a puff of smoke he disappeared. Naruto looked down and saw a leather-bound book. He picked it up, and walked over to the ramen shop, not seeing Tsunade and Shizune in the corner.

"Hmm, I've never read one of pervy sage's books before. Maybe this'll help keep me up for the night." Shizune had heard him, and had walked over to confiscate the book.
"Oh Naruto you're too young to read that smut-"

"Auugghhh! Ewww! Gross! Gross!" Naruto yelped cutting her off. "Pervy sage is having a menage a tois with-" With that, Shizune grabbed the book, and was about to toss it in the bin, when two names caught her eye.(I who had been reading the book with great interest sighed angrily)

"Lady Tsunade, you need to have a look at this!"

Jiraiya was headed for the ramen shop in search of Naruto, when he heard two ear-splitting shrieks from inside. Fearing the worst he ran to the ramen shop, to see a very angry Shizune, and Tsunade with a book that looked horribly familiar. Jiraiya gulped, it was his own private Icha Icha book that would never see the light of day, due to imminent death by Tsunade, and quite possibly Shizune. (Which was kind of a pity, because it was the best he'd ever written.) The two outraged women glared daggers at him, and even TonTon was giving him an offended and indignant look on behalf of her mistresses. Tsunade cracked her knuckles menacingly, and Jiraiya, who was nobody's fool ran for his life.

Naruto ran after him, and sent out shadow clones. Ignoring my protests that was getting jostled around, in Kyuubi's elaborate, dank, yet elegant over-sized cage. Jiraiya gulped as he realized that Tsunade and Tonton were gaining on him, he was sure he was done for, and it was all because of that little brat Naruto! Ohhh! If he survived-but before he could finish that thought, two sets of hands reached out from the bushes, and jerked him in.

"C'mon pervy sage." Whispered the two Narutos, "I'll get you outta here!" With that Jiraiya ran with the Naruto shadow clones. Shizune caught up with them, and swung at Jiraiya, but the clones disappeared.

"I've got you now!" Growled Tsunade. "Damn! They were Substitution Jutsus!" Naruto and Jiraiya ran for half the night. But this time, Naruto was not having fun! Granny Tsunade was scarier then Kakashi-sensei!

"He's gone this way Lady Tsunade!" Called Shizune.

"Uh-oh! Said the clones, and tried to run the other way, but they were tackled by Tsunade. One clone disappeared as Jiraiya and Naruto took a serious beating.
"If you ever put us in your books again Jiraiya I'll kill you!" Tsunade snarled really going to town on Jiraiya, "How dare you try to help him Naruto!"

Finally she dusted off her hands, and walked away with Tonton.

"You're lucky boys!" She called back to them, "I went easy on you!" Naruto groaned.

"EASY!! Who does she think she's kidding?" Jiraiya didn't even answer him. It had been a long time since he'd been on the receiving end of Tsunade's fists.

Tuesday Night (Orochimaru and Kabuto)

Orochimaru was laughing at the sight of his former teammate getting thrashed.

"It's interesting to note, that the lack of sleep caused Naruto to lash out, and bring out Shukaku."

"But Shukaku still doesn't have as much effectm over the boy as I'd like. We'll have to try and do something about that." Orochimaru groused. Kabuto scratched his head,

"But Kyuubi and Gaara are beginning to work together, that would be a real sight to see the two of them start transform as one."

"Ohh yes." Agreed Orochimaru, "I'm looking forward to that myself. Imagine Suna's surprise if Gaara attacks, and they see Kyuubi instead of Shukaku." The two men laughed at that.

To be continued...


Biju Swap Part 1

Aww man! I'm still angry and hungry, I'm gonna write a story how Naruto and Gaara switched Biju...

Naruto and Gaara woke up side-by-side butt-naked, to see Orochimaru and Kabuto hovering over them. They both shot murderous glares at their captors. But that was about all they could do, because both of them were numb, they couldn't feel anything at all.

"Ahh," Said Orochimaru smiling, "Our guests are finally awake." His arms hung limply at his sides, blackened, and dead. He grinned thoughtfully, his voice was as soft, and deceptive as a snake crawling through the grass. "Oh, how rude of me, I'm sure you are curious to know why you are here. Well the truth of it is, I'm bored and I wanted something interesting to do. So you two have been brought here to entertain me." He was walking around the small medical room, "Kabuto and I have been developing a new jutsu, and I needed two demon hosts to test it out on. We are going to make you switch Biju with each other, for a week. You will both be closely monitored of course. I am curious to see how you will both do. Before we begin boys, I want to let you know you know that if you spoil my fun, I will have to kill you the same way we brought you here, it took a lot of Kabuto's skill to keep you both alive. You were both out for nearly two weeks, hovering between life and death."

Kabuto looked over them both, and added "If you don't meet us back here at the end of the week, the demons will tear out of you in order to get back to it's original host, and without me you'll both die! So be sure to meet us at the river, before 3:00 Monday afternoon." "Shall we Kabuto?" Asked Orochimaru congenially, as though this was a casual social gathering of close friends, instead of one of his twisted experiments. Kabuto grinned, and began to gather chakra, he made a set of rapid hand signs, and then slammed both of his hands into Naruto and Gaara's bare stomachs. A line of visible chakra cords connected them together, and they watched as Nine-Tails and Shukaku were ripped clawing and snarling from the other's body, and was sent spinning into the chakra cord and then into the other boy's body. Kabuto then loosened the seals, and seven symbols were locked onto the boys stomachs. Naruto and Gaara felt sick to their stomachs. Kabuto rolled them over to wretch in bed pans. "Well, this is going to be such fun." Said Orochimaru brightly, unable to contain his glee at how successful this new jutsu was. "Tomorrow is Monday and you'll both be set free at your villages. Remember we'll be watching." He said smiling at them. "Well done Kabuto, we'll start off this evening."

Monday (Naruto/Shukaku)

Naruto came to in the woods by the river. He was not happy, his body felt sore inside and out. He stood up slowly on shaky legs, trying to get his bearings.

I, Shukaku, on the other hand, had already had a good look in Naruto's psyche. I was absolutely delighted, taking over the boy's mind would be so easy it was...well pathetic really! I rubbed my massive claws, and was ready to start taking over when I felt the boy start to move towards the village. I decided he would bide his time. It would be even better to take over the boy at the village. I would succeed where Teme had failed! This boy Naruto was unlike Gaara, who was incredibly intelligent, and sensitive. Naruto was definitely not the sharpest weapon in the armory! I felt the boy's stomach rumble, and knew he was headed to his favorite ramen place.

"Hey Ichiraku!" The fifteen-year-old called, slapping money on the table, "Give me three bowls of your best ramen!" There was laughter as Naruto began talking to some of his friends.
I who had been poised to strike, clamped my claws over my ears! I tried again and again to strike, but the boy's preoccupation with talking, eating, and thinking of ramen, training, and becoming Hokage blocked my voice out. I was developing a serious migraine! For the first time ever, I felt sorry for someone. I had no idea how on earth Kyuubi was able to put up with this loud-mouthed, obnoxious, brat! Putting up with this kid would drive anyone to drink! I thought to myself, grimacing as the boy's loud, raspy, grating voice chattered on. "Ohhhh maaaan!" I groaned, "Doesn't this kid ever shut up?!"

Gaara slept like the dead for half of the day, when Temari and Baki found him. They were instantly alarmed. Temari called to him cautiously, Gaara cracked one eye open. He couldn't believe it! He was still Gaara!

"What the-?" He muttered in confusion. Oh that's right! He had forgotten that he was now a temporary vessel of Kyuubi. He was incredibly nervous, as he had no idea how Kyuubi acted. Naruto had never really told him in detail. Gaara suddenly wished he could ask him! There was an idea! Gaara shoved Temari and Baki away, and staggered into Suna, where he locked himself in his room, and began righting a letter to Naruto.

Kyuubi woke up, things were suspiciously quiet out there. Kyuubi often slept because staying awake with Naruto normally gave him a pounding headache. True, he often gave Naruto advice, and talked to the boy occasionally. When he could get a word in, which was seldom. But still-

"Ahh now I recall. Those idiot humans forced me to switch bodies with another Jinchuuriki." Gaara blinked at the voice inside his head. So this was Kyuubi. He could see in his mind's eye fangs sharper, longer, more terrifying then mine. But-also breathtakingly handsome(A/N:No perverts, Gaara's not gay).

"So little kit, you are Gaara of the Sand? The child who has been forced to bear that baka Shukaku all your lowly life?" Kyuubi laughed. Gaara went deathly still.

"You are weak."

"What did you say?" Growled Gaara. Temari was listening outside, she realized that her brother was speaking to the demon inside of him, little did she know that this was not his demon. Now was not a good time to talk to him.

Monday Orochimaru and Kabuto

Orochimaru and Kabuto were monitoring the two boys at the same time. They had placed tiny chakra enhanced-surveillance cameras on both of them. Orochimaru was disappointed and interested in Naruto. "He just carries on like he always does." Observed Kabuto, who was completely surprised, he had believed that Shukaku would cause Naruto some serious problems, perhaps causing the undisciplined and scatter-brained boy to snap. He had no idea that Naruto's scatterbrained ways, and constant chatter was what effectively blocked Shukaku from taking over his body completely. Gaara was also acting a lot like himself. Orochimaru frowned, perhaps this hadn't been such a good idea after all. But he would wait and see what they did, and after all it wasn't like he wouldn't get his show in the end, he was going to make sure that these boys couldn't find them, and watch as the demons wrenched themselves out of their bodies.That at least would be something!

Monday Night (Naruto/Shukaku)

Naruto was used to getting more sleep then Gaara was, so he was more likely to fall asleep. He had to do something to keep himself awake, and then he realized what it was! He leapt out into the night, and came across Sakura and some of her friends.

"Sakura, I need you guys to wait here for a half-hour." He said,

"Why, Naruto?" It's getting late." Asked Sakura superciliously.

"Pleeeeassseee?!" He begged his heartthrob. Sakura let out an exasperated sigh.

"Alright Naruto, but if you aren't here in exactly half an hour I'll beat you to a pulp!"

"I'll be here believe it!" Naruto affirmed with a serious expression. Naruto surveyed the house and snuck in quietly. He heard a noise, and started, but no one came. He tiptoed into the bedroom, and saw a large dresser with five drawers, immediately he began rummaging through and found...Kakashi-sensei's masks! He ransacked them all, and made sure there wasn't one to be had. He struggled to suppress a giggle, and then started sneaking back out, he checked his watch, he had fifteen minutes to show up! But then he spotted it! Kakashi-sensei's mask! Kakashi was busy washing his face! Naruto began to sweat! The plan wouldn't work if he didn't grab that last mask! So he sent out his clone to sneak up on his teacher, and before Kakashi had realized what was going on his head was shoved under the bubbles in the sink!
When Kakashi came up spluttering and choking, he realized his mask was gone! He sighed warily, he would have to put on a new mask before finding the thief! He was sure it was his squad pulling this little stunt. He walked into his room, opened his drawer, and--what the hell!? They were all gone! Now he was mad! He heard Naruto's raucous laughter floating away!

"Naaa-ruuu-toooo!!" He screamed and began chasing the wayward chunin. Naruto ran faster then he, or possibly anyone, except for Lee had ever run in his life! He could see Kakashi-sensei start to get closer. Naruto turned on the steam!

"Where is he? He's late!" Grumbled Sakura eyeing her watch disgustedly. Sakura, Tenten, and Ino started to step out of the Ramen Bar when Naruto rushed past them. She heard girls screaming hysterically.

"Kakashiiiii!" All three girls craned their necks, and saw Kakashi-sensei chasing after Naruto without his mask on! Sakura, Ino, and Tenten all felt like they had been punched in the gut!

"He-he's-he's-gorgeous!" Ino breathed, wide-eyed and staring.

"Kakashi!" They shrieked! Kakashi looked back, Sakura and her friends were staring at him with love-struck faces. They started chasing him!

"Oh shit!" He growled, and continued his pursuit of Naruto and his masks! All around the village the news was spreading, and soon every girl, and a lot of guys were coming out to catch the long-awaited, elusive glimpse of Kakashi's face. Women were cheering Naruto on, and Kakashi couldn't help but blush, as panties, bras, and phone numbers were raining down on him. Perhaps I should take my mask off more often, He thought to himself. His hand reached out and grasped the blonde teenager, and it poofed revealing itself to be a shadow-clone.

"Grrrr! Naruto!" He had the brat now! But he was suddenly knocked back into the wall! He rubbed the back of his head, and much to his dismay, he could hear Sakura, Ino, and Tenten gaining on him. He glared at the retreating blonde's back, and took off after him again.

Sasuke had been sleeping, but it was really hard to get back to sleep after he heard the excited squeals, catcalls, wolf-whistles, and jeers outside. He rubbed his eyes and stepped outside. Naruto rushed passed him cackling like the lunatic that he was, clutching a bag for dear life. Someone else was coming too. It was Kakashi in the distance, screaming and cursing, and generally throwing a Naruto-ish style temper tantrum, and there was something else, something different about him. It took Sasuke several minutes to realize that Kakashi was not wearing his mask! Sasuke blinked, rubbed his eyes again, and stared as Kakashi leaped over him before he could get a good look.

"Kakashiiiii!" Before Sasuke could turn around he suddenly found himself spread-eagled in the dirt. He raised his head as he saw Sakura, Ino, and Tenten charging full-throttle after Kakashi. He felt a stab of jealousy. He couldn't believe he had just gotten run over by two of his biggest fans! To hell with that! He couldn't believe he had gotten run over period!
Kakashi turned on the speed and waiting chasing after Naruto, he almost had him when Ino, Tenten, and Sakura nearly slid into a wall, and pounced on him! All four clones vanished, and Kakashi grinned to himself, after all he was a jounin! But then the real Sakura, Tenten, and Ino came after him. They pounced on him.

"Hey! Back off Ino-pig he's mine!" Sakura squealed.

"What are you talking about billboard brow I saw him first!" Ino shot back angrily.

"Damn! This is a substitution jutsu!" Tenten groaned. Ino and Sakura let go of each other, and stared at the log.

"He won't get away from us next time!" Ino and Sakura swore in unison. The sun was finally coming up, and Kakashi had trailed Naruto all the way back to his house. He glowered as he saw Naruto slip back into the window. The shadow-clone poofed as soon Kakashi grabbed it, and he went inside. There were all of his masks, tossed hastily onto the bed. But it was too late, the damage had been done. The whole village had stayed up to see Kakashi Hatake's face, and cheer Naruto on. Kakashi amd Naruto had made spectacles of theselves. He groaned and eased himself onto the bed, his only consolation was that he didn't have any missions today. He was gonna take the day off, and lay low for a while.

Monday Night (Gaara and Kyuubi)

Kyuubi laughed. Gaara went deathly still.

"You are weak."

"What did you say?" Growled Gaara.

"I said you are weak." He repeated herself. "Your sand protects you, Shukaku strengthens you, but you will not strengthen yourself physically!" He sneered."Even my kit works hard to strengthen himself physiclly!" To be honest, the only reason Kyuubi was going out of his way to taunt Gaara was because the boy's deafening silences were beginning to drive him crazy. They had been a pleasant change at first, after having to deal with Naruto for as long as he had. But he had become so used to his constant chatter, his harebrained schemes, and his endless pranks, that the silence he had longed for was fast becoming a curse instead of the blessing he always believed it would be. Plus he had enjoyed Naruto's childish pranks, and trickery. They had amused him if nothing else, reminding him forcibly of a young kitsune cub, causing trouble the way only kitsune could. This boy had never done anything like that in his life. He was a real stick-in-the-mud!

"Shut the hell up!" Gaara tried hard to suppress Kyuubi, and was surprised to find out how much easier it was then trying to suppress Shukaku.
Gaara sat on the rooftop, his eyelids were drooping, and out of long-standing habit, he was struggling to keep them open. "But why? Naruto get's sleep, I might as well take advantage of it while I can." Gaara worried about his friend though, how would that idiot manage to stay awake when his body was used to it?" Gaara trudged wearily into his room, locked the door, and lay on the bed. The next thing he knew he had slipped off into that elusive oblivion, that had evaded him for fifteen years.

Monday Night Orochimaru and Kabuto

Kabuto had watched Gaara fall asleep exhaustedly after arguing with Kyuubi, but he couldn't help but stare in fascination at Kakashi's face. He never thought he'd see it, not that he had ever made it a top priority, but he had been as curious as every other member of the Hidden Leaf. He roared with laughter at Naruto's antics, and even Orochimaru smiled in amusement.

"What a fascinating way to stay awake." Orochimaru observed, "Perhaps we underestimated the boy."

To be continued...

~Mad Drunk Shukaku