Orochimaru was strolling out of the palace’s vicinity as he hummed a little tune. Ai and Misa were out on a bridge as they saw Orochimaru coming their way. The two yelped, and quickly hid behind a wall; Orochimaru not noticing them as he passed by. As Orochimaru skipped to a beat of his own and out of earshot, the two storytellers peek their heads out. “Oh, no…” Misa whispered. “When the bad guy is that happy…it always, always means…”
Misa and Ai then quickly pulled out their guitars and they both exclaimed, “BAD GUY SONG!!”
As Orochimaru slams open his office door happily while doing some ballet movies, he begins to sing.
Orochimaru: I was born to cheat and lie;
I’m a mean rotten guy.
When you ask me why I’m nasty,
Here’s my reason why…
The villain laughs as he points to a picture of his mother on his desk. It looks oddly like Orochimaru in a drag though.
At that stork delivery mommy screamed,
‘Woe is me, suck a dork!
Hey Mr. Stork, behold my misery,
Orochimaru’s nasty, Orochimaru’s a blob,
Orochimaru’s a nasty, naughty slob!’
Now Orochimaru got into a seat behind his desk and pushes a button. This causes the chair to be lowered right into an underground passageway which also leads to his secret lair.
Can it sister, I’m the mister
Who will get the job!
Once Orochimaru leaves his chair, it springs up returning to his office as if nothing has happen. Next, the villain got into a cart and rides it through a series of roller coaster like tracks.
So I’m nasty, I’m no good;
I’ll be king, knock on wood!
I’ll impress ya though I’m just a common-lowly hood. Ha!
If you can’t be loved, be feared.
Don’t get shoved, sheep get sheared.
Be the king, pull the strings
Or else you might get smeared!
I’m so happy I could dance.
Seize my chance, I’ll advance.
Come and cheer me, love and fear me,
Orochimaru’s king of Japan! Ha! Ha!
Once the ride is over, Orochimaru got out of it and goes into a rope bucket that lowers himself into his secret lair, the other end of the rope are tied to two buckets of bricks. Hinata is waiting for him at the moment.
"Evening, my trusty lieutenant." Orochimaru said evilly. "Oh, and watch out for the bricks, okay?"
"Wh-what bricks?" Hinata asked puzzled as Orochimaru got out of the bucket. It shoots upwards causing the two buckets of bricks to go flying downwards. The girl looks up as she sees what is coming, "Oh." A slam is heard but Orochimaru pays no attention as he got in his chair evilly as he sings some more.
Come and cheer me, love and fear me,
Orochimaru’s king of Japan…!
Orochimaru laughs expecting more of the music to be playing. To his surprise, it seems stops. "Hey, who killed the music?!" Orochimaru demanded in annoyance.
"We did, you he-she!" Ai and Misa's voices yelled from somewhere. "The song is over anyway!"
"Some people are critics." Orochimaru grumbled angrily. He stomps to the Pit where Seimei, Kankuro and Tayuya have went back into. In there, Kankuro is making a mock painting of the villain, Seimei is looking at a magazine with girls smiling like a love sick fiend, while Tayuya is playing a game of jacks. "Ahem. If I may have your attention," Orochimaru called to the three shinobi who turn and yelps in concern. Kankuro erased his picture, Seimei hides his magazine in his trench coat, while Tayuya hides her jacks.
"Hey boss." The three shinobi said sheepishly.
"If you guys aren't busy, how about go rounding up some princesses?" Orochimaru asked gently.
"Uh...I think so. Uh...what are we doing again?" Kankuro asked confused.
"Stop thinking and do it, okay! The opera's tomorrow night!" The villains heard more opera singing when they looked at the poster again. Orochimaru looks confused wondering where the singing is coming from. He shrugs as he continued, "Make sure the job is done by then, got it?"
"So what are we supposed to be doing, Orochimaru?" Tayuya asked.
"That's a stupid question. Just grab her, find some tower no one would think to save a princess from, and keep her locked up forever. You got any more questions?"
"Yeah. Does Sasuke know you raided his wardrobe?" Seimei asked smirking as well as Kankuro and Tayuya.
"You will find the answer to that next Saturday if you idiots messed this up!" Orochimaru snapped in annoyance. Seimei just scoffed. "Don't mess with me! You messed with the bull, you get the horns! NOW GET GOING!!"
"Yes sir." The three shinobi said as they salute quickly. They all run out of the room though Tayuya slams into a wall by accident. Seimei came back, picks Tayuya up, and takes her out of the room.
--
The three ninjateers are now working on their duty as the princess's protectors. Their task is to escort Jessica and Sakura through a meadow in the carriage. Naruto was steering the vehicle holding the reigns while reading a book, 'Ninjateering for Dummies'.
"Yep. This book makes ninjateering do very good. I don't know what can go wrong on our first day." Naruto said proudly. Gaara and Sasuke are riding on the back keeping an eye out for villains.
"Well, this ninjateer stop has been great, right Sasuke old pal?" Gaara asked Sasuke.
"No problem, though I have a bad feeling something is about to happen." Sasuke said concerned.
"Come on. What's the worst that can happen, huh?"
Inside the carriage, Jessica and Sakura were eating pizza. They are liking the ride so far, but the girl can tell Jessica is enjoying more than just the ride. "Isn't this great, Sakura? It is so romantic that we are being protected by three dashing ninjateers...and that red-haired boy is just so handsome." Jessica said romantically.
"Yeah, he's cute, I know." Sakura said bored. "But remember, those three are only ninjateers. As in commoners, non-college bound. It could mean only one thing."
Jessica paused then she asked, "Forbidden love?"
"Precisely."
"Wow...how romantic. A forbidden love! I am so happy."
"Oh brother. Why do I even bother?" Sakura groaned as she goes back to eating. Unknown to everyone, there are three familiar figures lurking in the branch above smiling evilly. Seimei and his team get their weapons out, ready to strike. Well, okay, their presence is not unknown to everyone.
The three shinobi jump off the branch and landed on the carriage's head catching Gaara off guard making Gaara yelled, "Villains!"
Sasuke groans, "This is one time I HATE being right."
Naruto only hears what Sasuke said as he yelled, "Villains," His yelling scared the horses causing them to run like mad and dragging the carriage very VERY fast.
"Yikes!" Gaara yelled as he tried his best to hold on tightly. Sasuke groans as Kankuro smirked evilly at him. Sasuke screams like a girl as he dives into the carriage surprising the ladies, especially Sakura as Sasuke hides under her seat.
"Okay, villains!" Gaara snapped as he gets his katana out while confronting Seimei, "En guarde!"
"I hate French!" Seimei whined as he begins attacking Gaara. Seimei took out a pistol and fires rounds at Gaara. Seeing the on coming blast, Gaara quickly turned intangible in time to avoid the blast but unluckily he tripped over to the ground. Seimei smirks as he gets his sword out and disarms Gaara as he got back up.
"I mark you 'L' for loser!" Seimei sneered as he makes like Zorro and slashes at Naruto with his sword. Gaara's uniform fell apart putting him in Naruto's trademark self, a red haired boy with a blue headband, orange suit and orange pants.
"Wow! Wierd, but that was cool." Gaara said amazed.
As the carriage continues moving back, Jessica and Sakura begin pushing Sasuke out of the carriage and back into the fight, but the momma's boy is pushing against them. "You dork, get back out there and fight!" Sakura yelled in annoyance.
"Forget it! I don't wanna!" Sasuke whined like a momma's boy.
"You're a ninjateer, stupid. Do something!"
Back in the fight, Gaara got his musketeer uniform back on as he continues fighting Seimei. Tayuya jumped in the seat landing next to Naruto. "Hi there. Seen any bad guys around here?" Naruto asked Tayuya stupidly.
"Oh, I got a bad guy right here." Tayuya said madly as she gets out a camera. "Watch the birdie, hee hee hee hee." Naruto watches the camera stupidly. As Tayuya press a certain button, a boxing glove came out of the lens punching Naruto in the face and right out of the carriage.
"D'oh!" Naruto yelled grunting each time as he rolled down a hill hitting his head many times.
"Geez, and I thought Kankuro was stupid." Tayuya said in annoyance. Gaara was doing good against Seimei at first. Unfortunately, Seimei broke Gaara’s katana and punches his face very hard sending Gaara off the ride very fast.
"Adios, amigo!" Seimei said smirking evilly as Gaara is thrown off. Sasuke reluctantly climbed out of the carriage and got onto the top. To his surprise, he finds Seimei waiting for him. Seimei smirks evilly as he snarled at Sasuke's face making him yelled. Seimei clears his throat then said to Sasuke, "Boo!"
Sasuke screams as loud as he could. He gets a suitcase, packed himself into it, and throws himself off towards the direction his pals are send off to.
--
Naruto meanwhile kept rolling down the hill yelling "D'oh!" a few times until he landed in a mud pit. He got up with a groan but was knocked down by Gaara. Gaara got up and got hit in the face by the suitcase containing Sasuke.
Gaara was dazed for a bit groaning. Then he realized something as he yelled, "Princess Jessica!" Gaara runs out of the pit in hopes to get back to the carriage in time, but by the time he returned to the road, he sees the carriage disappearing with the girls still inside and the bad guys holding them captured.
"Oh man, no way past cool." Gaara groaned as he slides back into the pit causing mud to fall onto his face. "Any chance we can get the princess back, guys?"
"About a million to one." Shukaku stated.
"We're all doomed!" Kyuubi slapped his forehead.
"You're crazy! That is stupid!" Sasuke snapped frantically as he got out of the suitcase in defeat. "It's hopeless and we failed!"
"Hopeless? Failed?" Naruto asked worried. He then groans as he begins to cry.
"Calm down there, here." Sasuke said as he takes Naruto's cape and gives it to his friend. Naruto takes the cape and blows into it.
"Great. I'm dirty and covered in boogers."
Gaara looks at his friends and frowns. He exclaimed, "Hey, who said we are hopeless, huh?" Gaara wipes the mud off of himself as he continued, "Even though I doubt it, Orochimaru is counting on us."
"He is?" Naruto asked puzzled. Then he grins as he said, "Yeah! He is!"
"Don't forget, it's thanks to him that we're ninjateers."
"Yeah! We're ninjateers!" Sasuke said.
"We dream of it since we are kids, remember?" Naruto pointed out as he gets out of the pit. "Guys, how about it? Are we a team or what?"
"You kidding?!" Naruto laughed as he and Sasuke takes Gaara's hands allowing him to take them both out of the pit. "I is in!"
"So am I! No one gets the upper hand on this emo boy." Sasuke said eagerly.
"Come on! We got a princess to save!" Gaara yelled as he gets his katana (which is now fixed and good as new for no apparent reason) out ready for action. "No obstacle can stop us!"
"Yeah!" Naruto and Sasuke yelled, filled with confidence.
"No danger can get in our way!"
"You got it!" Naruto and Sasuke agreed getting their own katanas out getting excited.
"We will save Jessica or we will die trying!" Gaara laughed as he runs off with Naruto joining him. Of course, only one other friend did not join.
"Uh...die?" Sasuke asked looking scared. "I don't know about that..." Gaara and Naruto looks at their friend as they walk back. Naruto and Gaara needs to think of a way to get this momma's boy to help, but how?
"Well...there is Sakura, the lady in waiting, right?" Naruto pointed out with a smirk. "I mean...she will be impressed if you have a role in the rescue that has her in it, right?"
"Hmmm...die or not to die? That is the question." Sasuke said pondering. Naruto and Gaara smack their foreheads. Deciding not to wait, Naruto grabs the emo boy and drags him off as the three heroes head off to save the princess.
To be continued...
