(My response for this week's writing prompt.)
"A Letter You'll Never Send"
Dearest Meryl,
I wish I knew what's come between us these past many days. We were once so close and I just feel like we've been drifting apart.
Our letters have been taking a little longer each time to write, a little longer each time to mail off. I know we haven't had the easiest time together and the little time we did never ended especially well for us. Still, I do understand that a lot of this is my own fault, my own health conditions and I accept that... but why can't you at least try to look past that at least a little?
I've given up so much for you. My own family has almost disowned me because I refuse to give you up. My own father has threatened me with fates worse than death because I wouldn't give you up. My own father! But I don't care... none of that matters to me anymore. As long as you're with me, we can get through all of this.
Don't think I'm giving all of this up easily, either. I'm the eldest son of my family, as you'll remember. The family business is an important one and has gone back many generations; my father expected me to take up the business just as he had taken up the business from his own father. I had a lot to live up to. And believe me, this business has been in my blood all these years. It's what I knew, what I've learned, what I've eaten, drank and breathed for the past twenty years. This was all the life I knew.
Was, anyway. Until I met you.
Meryl, I know things are a little complicated between us. But we used to be so good together! You'll remember how much I never liked talking about myself or what I liked before, right? Well I started opening up to you. I trusted you with so many secrets, things I could never tell another living soul... I thought that that meant something special...
...look, I know I killed your brother. I don't expect you to forgive me for that any time soon. It's not even that I wanted to... yes, he was against our being together, he thought I was dangerous - and I know, I can be if I have to be - but honestly, that had nothing to do with it. See, this is the kind of stuff I have to put up with for the family business, and I'm sorry that you had to see what you did.
If it's any consolation, I know your brother Vincent didn't suffer much. I made sure of that.
Please, just answer me back so we can talk this over. I don't want to lose you over something like this. Not like this. And yes, I know you don't like the suits and the greasy hair, so when we do meet I'll put all of that away. Just please, let me talk with you over dinner for a bit. Please, that's all I ask.
With all my love,
-Johnny Cirillo
