Recently I have been feeling emotionally and mentally...I don't know the word to put...I want to say unstable but...it's not that word...bleh whatever!!
But I just don't smile as much as I use to. I went shopping a few days ago and I thought that it would cheer me up because I like to go shopping and just look at clothes in general. My mom bought me a pair of pants and I was so happy when I got them...but 30secs later I was sad again and didn't want the pants anymore.
Recently I have become unmotivated...with everything, especially school. I feel sad at the most random of times, I start thinking about my past and all of the stuff that I regret. All I really want to do is lie in bed all day and just stay curled up in the blankets. My eating habits have changed as well. I use to be able to basically eat like a grown man..but now I get hungry, but when I get the food I hardly want to eat. So that is causing me to lose a lot of weight..and I was never even 100lbs to begin with, I was probably only 95lbs because I have a really high metabolism. Plus I have a personal fitness class now,,,so working out and not eating is a bad mix. I'm usually big on hugging too, but I don't want anyone touching me and when people touch me I get upset.
Not to mention I have been getting A LOT of head aches...lots and lots of head aches. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me, but I know I don't feel like myself.
For the past few days now I've been feeling as if I wish I could disappear. (NOT DIE) But to take a trip to somewhere far away where I can relax and feel a bit care free. I guess I kind of want to do something like...Digimon? Go to a digital world for a bit and return to my world where time hasn't really past, or maybe even do something like InuYasha ~ how Kagome jumps down the well and goes to a different time period. Or heck!! My friend said something like in Narnia where I leave for a some years, only to come back and it's only been a couple of hours X3
You should have seen me when I was walking home on Friday. It was snowing. The snowflakes were so big, and yet they fell so slowly. I even took the time to stop and look up at the sky as the flakes fell gently to the earth and I felt like I just wanted to faint. At that moment I felt so insignificant and that I could just fall onto the soft, white pile of snow that blocked my path. (because no one shovels their snow here >.>)
So it all brings it back to...I don't know what's wrong with me. My friend says I could be stressed...some say depressed, one says I should seek counselling. Then that one option that your perverted friends say...they say I just need to get laid :/
So yeah...sorry to just throw this at you guys who read this all but I didn't know what else to post because I've been so...emotional and mentally... waked.
