RP Based Fic - ONESHOT - Dagur and Rae have a tiff. (As always.)
Based an a Facebook roleplay with Facebook's Dagur the Deranged (Dagur Oswaldsson) and posted with permission.
Enjoy!
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Hiccup had been walking by with one of his random friends when Dagur was out and about walking with Rae. He let out an unexpected 'Hate ya Dagur, always!' which caught Dagur off guard for a moment. It was not like Hiccup to be so forward. He stopped, grinned and turned to respond as Hiccup walked away. "Oh, but I'm so likeable when you get to know me."
Rae snorted as she watched Dagur turn back round to face her. "Hah! Sure. As likeable as yak breath."
"I suggest you take that back, or I'll do something I'll regret."
Rae scoffed. "You? Regret something? Haha, not likely."
"Hmm, you DO have a point. Hehehe. OK, I suggest you take that back before I just do something." Dagur made mock strangling gestures towards her which made her grin even more.
"Nah. I think I'll just keep my statement where it is. Out in the open. On the table, for everyone to giggle at."
Dagur gritted his teeth. "How would you like to be NAILED to that table!?"
"Woah, woah, woah. Dagur, please! We haven't even agreed heimanfylgja! This is all so sudden!" Rae grinned sarcastically and shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
Dagur clutched his belly and let out a belting fake laugh. "OH HA HA HA, OH HO HO HO, you're SO funny! Hilarious!" His face dropped into a frown again. "Yeah, but still. Nailed to the table."
She rolled her eyes over his dramatic display and shot him a blank look. "I'd actually like to keep my body from being full of holes, thank you."
"Well then, I'd recommend not insulting me further." He flipped his sword out from its sheath and tossed it back and fourth in his hands to make his point clearer.
"Ugh, fine. Whatever. Just stop playing with your sword..." Rae paused for a moment and cracked another smirk. "You'll go blind."
"Aughh! Right! That's it!" Dagur tossed his sword to one side and leaped for her in a rage.
Rae had not expected that at all and was caught totally off guard. She ended up in a horrible, crumpled heap under him, unsure of how on earth she got into such a situation. "HEY! Get off!"
Dagur landed on her harshly and took hold of her wrists in his hands pinning her down. "Aha! Now who has the upper hand!? Haha. Get it? I have your hands and I'm.. Winning... Haha."
Rae squirmed in an attempt to free herself. "Oh, harr-harr. So very funny. G-Get off already!" She tried to thrash her legs, but his weight made it almost impossible to move.
Dagur shook his head and grinned smugly, enjoying having the upper hand. "No, I don't think I will. You're quite comfy." He let out a dark laugh. "In fact... I think I'll keep you alive. Yes! I'll keep you and use you as a seat!" He bounced up and down and pretended to get comfortable. "Ooooh, soft!"
Rae winced over the movement. It felt as if he was squishing the breath out of her. His knee plates were digging into her sides more and more with each movement. "I... I am not a seat, you idiot!"
"Silence seat! I didn't say you could speak! Anyway..." He bounced around again. "Seats can't talk, can they?"
She let out another grunt as more air was forced from her lungs. "Ngggh! No, they can't!"
"Sorry, what was that?" He took hold of her wrists in one hand and cupped the other hand to where his ear was under his helmet and moved it so it was inches away from her face. "I thought I heard a seat speak to me. Am I going mad?"
Rae narrowed her eyes and let out a low rumble. He was so lucky he was wearing a helmet, or she would have bitten his ear off.
Dagur straightened up and grinned down his nose at her smugly. "That's what I thought. Maybe they should rename you Rae the Recliner. HAHA!" He laughed so hard over his own joke that he released his grip on her hands.
Rae took that opportunity to use all of her remaining strength to punch him in the gut as hard as she could. "I said get off, already! Ugh!"
"URRRGH!" Dagur doubled over as the wind was knocked out of his metaphorical sails. He collapsed to one side and groaned like a yak in heat.
"Now that serves you right!" She shoved him off of her legs and shuffled free of him before kicking him with a foot. "Wussboy."
"I... hurk... Am... NOT... HUFF... A wussboy!" He clutched his stomach as he oriented himself again. "You'll... YOU'LL be sorry, wench."
"Sure. You keep saying that, but I always end up getting free of your grasp and you never ever get your so-called revenge." Rae sat there and sneered at him, adjusting her armour that had been messed up a little from the scuffle.
Dagur narrowed his eyes and jutted out his chin. "One day... You'll see. You'll not get free. I'll have you in my grasp and you'll be sorry."
Rae let out a snorting laugh. "What? You're going to marry me? Ahahaaha! Yeah! I can see why anyone would be sorry! HAHA!"
Dagur just stared at her with an unimpressed face and let out another false laugh. "Oh ho ho ho ohhhh, you're so funny. Ohhhh, you're so smart. Ho ho ho ho."
Rae didn't respond with words, she just kept grinning at him and punched his upper arm roughly.
He yawned in response to the abuse. "I'm sorry, what was that? I thought I felt a gnat fly into my arm."
She reeled back her arm and punched him again, this time harder. The sound was almost sickening to hear and she was sure it'd leave a bruise. Dagur flinched and grasped hold of his arm in pain. "Yeeowch!" He rubbed at it and shot her a glare. "Oho, so you want another round, huh?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I hurt your little arm?" Rae chuckled and shuffled closer. "Only if it's a fair fight. I'm not having you pull out your sword."
"I'm sure I don't know WHAT you mean..." He moved his hand that had been slowly reaching for his sword down to his side. "You paint me in such a bad light. I can be fair!"
"You? Fair? That'll be the day." She folded her arms and laughed. "Thor will appear riding a bright pink Nightfury, tossing flowers casually at everyone."
He pouted mockingly. "Oh, I'm crushed. You've cut me to the bone, Rae. You're so harsh. Ouch." Then his signature grin manifested on his face once more. "OK, you got me. I'm a dirty cheat. What can I say?"
Rae raised a brow and shook her head knowingly. "You're an idiot."
Dagur reached out and took hold of her clothing in his hand, yanked her forwards and pressed his nose into hers angrily. "Takes one to know one."
Rae raised her hands defensively. "Oooh, wow. What a lame quip that was. That's not like you." She shoved him on his chest playfully. "Normally it's something like..." She cleared her throat and tried to mimic his voice. "'Rae, I will tear your head off and piss down your neck!' Or... 'RAE I'll use your skin as a loincloth!' Or... 'RAE, I'LL CRUSH THE GREEDY MILK FROM YOUR BONES WITH MY TEETH!'"
He couldn't help but let out a chuckle over that. She did him pretty well, even if it was a mockery. He narrowed his eyes and yanked her even closer, their noses squashing into each other so hard it hurt. "There's still time, wench."
"There you go again with the wench thing... Does it hurt that this 'wench' has beaten you several times?"
He hissed a laugh in her face. "You only beat me because I let you."
Rae rolled her eyes again. "Uh huh. Sure you did."
Dagur smiled widely and shrugged. "Now... What was that about heimanfylgja?"
"DAGUR!"
