this day is gonna suck.....

i konw that i havent been on in awhile, but i've been really busy with the end of year exams. it took us months to prepare for them! >< but anywho, that's not why i'm writing now. i'm not sure who's gonna be reading this but this day is gonna suck really bad. we're at some kind of event that my father was invited to, and this morning we slept in. Me and my little brother were trying hard to get ready (and i'm a girl, so you know how hard it is for us to get ready 2 seconds after we wake up...) and apparently we were taking to long, and my parents left us here..... >< i don't know why i'm feeling so angry, and it's not that i'm feeling angry, i started crying as well... yeah it kinda sucks for a sixteen going on seventeen year old girl to go crying over things like that, and i hate my self for it because i know i'm better than that, but i've had alot of bad things happening to me (like this falling out with two of my best friends; one i'm losing because he's a guy who likes me {hint hint kinda like} and i don't like him that way and just wanna stay friends. the other i'm losing because she's lettign her veiws on religious crap come between us. i know that religion is important (i'm a stupid catholic for pete's sake), but she's become relly judgementat of other religions (she's baptist. go figure). so i'm in the process of feeling really bad because it feels like no one cares about me anymore, though i KNOW that's not true.) the reason i think that i'm most effected by it is because i have issues with abandonment. not through real life experiances, but through dreams. i always have this one dream that has me waking up screaming and crying in the middle of the night... it's a dream where i'm on drownign n the lake and everyone i know is sitting there on the shore watching me. just watching me. when i try to get them to help me, they turn their backs, and i wake up just as i die. freaky huh? well because of that, i have BIG problems with people leaving me on my own without telling me. it just has that sufficating feel, you know? aw well.... i'm hopin that later in life that i get over this.... for now though, i have to go get ready for when my parents come home. >< wish me luck.

JUNIORS ALL THE WAY!!!!!
~Lexi-chan

Tourtured Souls (poem)

Tortured Soul

I’m lying, bleeding, on the ground
Watching the feathers as my wings are torn out
How many times must I go through this?
On my stomach, staring into this abyss?
My heart’s almost given it’s last
Crying, bleeding from my piteous past

Come for me, sweet angel from above
Come rescue me, lovely little dove
I send my silent scream to the Lord
We are nothing but tortured souls in this world

Strong hands lift me up
To my lips is pressed a cup
Who is this who cleans off my face?
Stitching my wings back into place?
They push the air back into my air starved lungs
Cool water rushes over my tongue

Come for me, beautiful light from the sun
Rescue me, my savior to come
We choke on these beautiful lies we are sold
We are nothing but tortured souls in this world

about fan fiction

for those of you who have stuck with my story about my oc, sazaki, i am stuck right now. i have a writer's block, and not only that, but i have a creativity block for drawing. >< this is so not my day... i'm hopingit will get better over the next week, because i'm taking a break from writing ch. 4, because i need one....... and i need to rest from the 9 week's exams. @o@ talk about a mind blower... i made a 78 on my biology exam, which pulled my grade down to a low C, which is not cool. >< my parents are all over me about it, which i think is one of the main reasons i'm having all those stupid blocks.... oh well. i'm restarting the fan fic to ch. 1 for those of you who haven't read it. if you don't like it(oc fan fics), tough. you don't have to read it. i'm going to be kinda anti social right now because i don't feel very good right now, so sorry to all my friends if my behavior today (which contradicts my normal behavior) offends you.... i'm signing out for now.
peace to all my buds out there (don't know why i said that... just felt like it ^^)

ummm..... how exactly do you work this....? @.@

hey eveyone.... boy... this stuf is confusing. aw well, i guess we'll get used to it. ^^ if anyone's there, how do you coment on this thing?