i konw that i havent been on in awhile, but i've been really busy with the end of year exams. it took us months to prepare for them! >< but anywho, that's not why i'm writing now. i'm not sure who's gonna be reading this but this day is gonna suck really bad. we're at some kind of event that my father was invited to, and this morning we slept in. Me and my little brother were trying hard to get ready (and i'm a girl, so you know how hard it is for us to get ready 2 seconds after we wake up...) and apparently we were taking to long, and my parents left us here..... >< i don't know why i'm feeling so angry, and it's not that i'm feeling angry, i started crying as well... yeah it kinda sucks for a sixteen going on seventeen year old girl to go crying over things like that, and i hate my self for it because i know i'm better than that, but i've had alot of bad things happening to me (like this falling out with two of my best friends; one i'm losing because he's a guy who likes me {hint hint kinda like} and i don't like him that way and just wanna stay friends. the other i'm losing because she's lettign her veiws on religious crap come between us. i know that religion is important (i'm a stupid catholic for pete's sake), but she's become relly judgementat of other religions (she's baptist. go figure). so i'm in the process of feeling really bad because it feels like no one cares about me anymore, though i KNOW that's not true.) the reason i think that i'm most effected by it is because i have issues with abandonment. not through real life experiances, but through dreams. i always have this one dream that has me waking up screaming and crying in the middle of the night... it's a dream where i'm on drownign n the lake and everyone i know is sitting there on the shore watching me. just watching me. when i try to get them to help me, they turn their backs, and i wake up just as i die. freaky huh? well because of that, i have BIG problems with people leaving me on my own without telling me. it just has that sufficating feel, you know? aw well.... i'm hopin that later in life that i get over this.... for now though, i have to go get ready for when my parents come home. >< wish me luck.

JUNIORS ALL THE WAY!!!!!
~Lexi-chan