Shitty, I know. And don't even ask about it. I have no idea. I just went with it. I hope it isn't too shitty.
You know it's love when the person makes you see yourself how they see you. And you believe them.
Joe has always told me he thought I was cute, hot, sexy, and all that. A part of me thinks I'm unattractive and no one could possibly feel that way about me.
But today, I was driving to a friend's place, and one of my favorite songs called Sunny and 75 by Joe Nichols. And I was thinking about how that artist is Joe and I's name together. Joe and Nicole. Joe Nichols. It's silly, I know, and it made me giggle and laugh to myself. I'm sure cars driving by thought I was insane and probably was ecstatic from murdering someone but nuance.
So, here I am smiling and laughing to myself, and I felt cute. Pretty even. I didn't see myself in a mirror or anything. I just had this peaceful wave wash over me, and my eyes opened and I realized that's how Joe sees me. I was seeing myself the way Joe sees me.
Not really sure what triggered it to allow me to understand today of all days, but it happened, and I'm so very glad it did.
Just thought I'd share my little tidbit of the day
It just keeps getting worse. and Worse and worse.
The amount of ignorance I just ran into on theO chat was overwhelming. I haven't been in a room with that much ignorance surrounding me since high school. There was one in particular that just talked to start shit. Come on, how old are we? 12? Can we please act our own ages?
I'm starting to get a little pissed off about it, and I might start showing off how angry I am in a minute if this keeps up.
Someone should seriously start talking to me and talking me down. They're still going....
I went home this weekend because my mom is in a play. She was the lead role. I think she did really well. The whole cast and crew did. I hate plays and musicals. The acting is over done or under done, and I can't stand either of those things. But I enjoyed this because I knew a lot of the people in the play. So it was fun to see them do these roles.
I spent most of the weekend with my youngest brother. He's my best friend, and he just follows me everywhere, wants to do everything with me. A lot of people would consider that annoying, but not me. I love being with him. We always end up having the best talks.
For instance, on our way home from supper, it was just us two driving, and he was telling me his CCD (kind of like youth group) class had someone come in and give them the sex talk. He loves talking about sex and learning new things about it. And I don't mind talking to him about it. I figure the more educated he is about it, the better. So when he asks me questions, I'm not afraid to answer truthfully.
He now knows that I have had sex outside of marriage, and I was trying to teach him that a person who has had sex with 100 people is not a bad person. That's that person's choice and not something we have the right to judge them on. People would call them a slut, but that's not a nice term. If the person is being safe and smart, what's the harm. You might not like it, and that's fine. Don't do it. But don't judge them for it.
We talked about what happens if someone gets pregnant at 16. Is the right thing to do to get married? No. I get why people want to. But I don't necessarily think it's a solution. Let's pretend I got pregnant before marriage. I would not want the father of my baby to marry simply because he felt he had to. We'd fight and life would be hell for everyone in the house. I'd rather him be involved in the baby's life, but I'd be able to still find true love with someone else so that I could find someone who could help me raise my baby in a loving and caring environment.
We talked about homosexuality, religion, abortion, and a bunch of other topics. I helped him understand my point of view, but I still gave him others' opinions. I don't want him to change his vies to mirror my own simply because he doesn't know any other side to it. I want him to see things from every angle and then to make a decision.
Ignorance is not bliss. I don't believe it ever is. In any situation. Educating yourself to learn and understand something you haven't grasped is the best possible solution. How can you have an opinion on something you don't fully understand or know about? You can't. You don't know every side, all the aspects. Simple as that.