I rejoice in what I have and I know that fresh new experiences are always ahead. I greet the new with open arms. I trust life to be wonderful. – Louise Hay
"You can be the worlds greatest hero, or its most mild mannered citizen, the only person who can write your story, is you!" - Jonathan Kent to Clark Kent
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Where Else to Find ME | Anime/Maga List | Non-Anime TV Shows | The Men in My Harem
It's been awhile since I've been on theO for an extended period of time. Been kind of crazy! But, I'm here now, and I'm gonna post in all my worlds and rps either today or tomorrow. :)
So, here's what's new with me if anyone cares.
1. Joe and I are still together. Been interesting. He's still on the fence. And by that, I mean, he's not sure he can open himself up to someone again. He's done it and been burned on more than one occasion. He has depression, anxiety, is bored with his life, and can't wait to move away from here (he's going to do it as soon as he can.) The hard part of the moving thing is that he doesn't want me to come with, and he doesn't want to do long distance. So, what does that leave us? Nothing.
So, I'm hoping he'll get his shit figured out. I don't want to wait around forever for him to make up his mind. I love him a lot, but I don't want to be in a relationship that is going nowhere when I can be out there finding the one that does want to go the distance. So, I'm not really sure what to do right now. I'm backing off a little. I haven't been texting him first, nor have I been planning everything and inviting myself over. I want him to take initiative a bit. And for the most part he has, so that's a good sign. Sigh. I don't really know right now. Advice is welcome.
2. My cousin is getting married November 3, so like two weeks. I had to go home last weekend to get fitted into the dress. The dress she had showed me months ago with this all black, silky dress that had pockets and was actually very pretty. what I tried on was not that. It was brown and orange. Probably one of the ugliest dresses I've ever worn. To top it off, I have to wear cowboy boots. But, not even real cowboy boots. These are orange and brown, too. It's terrible. I'd rather run down the aisle naked than wear this horrid outfit. But, I have to wear it and put on a smile.
I'm not even sure why she asked me to be in the wedding. I mean, we haven't really talked for years. Only on holidays. And, usually the whole time, her mom is teasing me about not having a boyfriend or whatever. And, her brother is the one that molested me when I was 7 (Him being 15). We used to be close as kids, and in elementary school. In school, she'd get picked on, and I'd be the one sticking up for her. But, once High School hit, we drifted. I'm thinking I was a last resort, someone to fill a spot since she has no friends. But, oh well.
3. Also, for my cousin, I had to go to her bachelorette party. We went to dinner and then to a bar. The dinner was great. There was only three of us there because the maid of honor and the other one freaked out because they couldn't bring their boyfriends, so they weren't even ever going to show, but they got their shit together and came to the bar, where they proceeded to get my cousin drunk. And, I mean drunk. You know how in the movies, the drunks are falling all over everything, throwing up, can't walk, all up in your face, etc. Ya, she was worse than that. At the end of the night, she couldn't walk. She had to be carried out of the place. She was so bad, we got kicked out. And this bar is so hard to get kicked out of. To top it off, all my old classmates walked in as she was making a racket. I have never been so embarrassed. This wedding is going to be a disaster. I don't like the maid of honor and that other girl because they just left my cousin there. They got her so drunk and then just left us to take care of her. I don't like her family, and I'm going to know no one else. Joe can't go with me, and none of my other guy friends can go either. So, I'll be alone. I just can't wait for this to be done.
4. The golf course job is done for me, so I have Sundays off, now! I'm so excited. Not sure what I'm going to do with my time!
5. I'm going to be getting a bigger bed soon. Like a standard or a queen. I can't decide. I'm pumped! No more rolling into the walls!
6. I'm in a country genre kick. It's interesting. Been listening to it nonstop for the past two days. They tell some of the best stories, though.
7. Gonna have a much needed girls night in tonight. I'm excited.
So, that's about it. Get me caught up with what's been going on with you guys!
Why is the grass is greener on the other side? You want to be as skinny as Sue, as athletic as Sam, as tall as Moe, as fast as Joe, as smart as Boe, as pretty as Rue, as funny as Erin.
It's just naturally easier to see the admirable qualities in those around us, in the people we care about. It's harder to see those same admirable qualities in ourselves because we know first hand our faults. But, we don't always see the faults in others.
I'll be the first to admit that there are so many things I'd love to change about myself. My weight, my intelligence, my humor, my teeth, my height. I'd want to stop procrastinating, maybe work a bit harder, take up more hobbies, try to be funnier, be a better cook, stop tripping over my own two feet. I could keep going.
But, you know what, I have so many friends that love me despite these faults, maybe even because of my faults, and it's because of my friends that I have learned to love myself.
I do believe that the first step in accepting yourself is to love yourself. Sometimes, it takes someone else to show you the way. A compliment can go a long way.
I grew up being called overweight and heavy, which I was. But, I had the lowest self esteem. I was a size 12 in high school. I thought that was huge compared to my classmates, who wore single digit jeans. When I got to college, my roommate made the comment that she thought my build was what an average person was. From that moment, I believed her. I realized I wasn't fat. I wasn't skinny. I was me. I was okay. I began to accept myself, to accept my body. I owe her a lot.
So, I do believe we should tell the people we care about when there is something about them we like. It could just change their life. My roommate sure changed mine.
I am happy being me. You should be happy being you. No one else can do it better.
Why are the top 8 ecards not quality cards?
The newly added cards are so much better quality. They have textures, vectors, and all that with amazing font that just flows with the card. Not to hate on anyone, but a picture with some words just thrown on it is not quality.
This may be mean, but it's my opinion, and I'm in a pissy mood.
I have very vivid dreams. Having said that, I've dreamed of my own parents trying to kill me, my friends dying in front of my eyes, random strangers trying to kill me, etc. And I always really liked the dreams when I woke up thinking it was all in good fun.
Well, I awoke from a terrifying dream last night.
I was with Joe, and we were hanging out a lot. I kissed him goodbye and went home. But, when I got home, he started texting me. He was saying he was going to go out and that he wanted me to come. He'd be at my place shortly to pick me up. Suddenly, Joe appeared in front of me. I was confused how he had gotten there so fast. But, I was so happy to see him that I didn't think twice about it. He leaned in and kissed me, and we made out for awhile.
Suddenly, a car horn sounded and when I looked, it was Joe in his car ready to pick me up. I ran over without making a second look at the guy I was kissing. I get into the truck, and he's got the most hurt look on his face. "How could you cheat on me?" My mouth dropped open. I hadn't cheated, I had been kissing him. I turned to look out the window at the guy I had been with, and he was standing with his back to us.
"I'm so sorry, I thought he was you!" I cried out, knowing how stupid it sounded, but it was the truth. "I'd never cheat on you ever. Not on purpose!"I promised him. He looked like he was going to run away, and I wanted so badly to reassure him. "I know what it's like to be cheated on. I want you and only you. I thought he was you."
"I'd never wear that," Joe had replied angrily. What was so weird though, is in the dream, I thought he would. the other guy was wearing these bright yellow and black horizontal stripes on khakis. "You should have known better."
"It won't happen again!" I assured him, and I think he forgave me a little and we went on our way.
Well, throughout the whole dream, I kept hanging out with Joe, but I could never figure out if I was hanging out with the REAL Joe of if it was just his double. I was losing my mind and going crazy. I started thinking I was hallucinating and that I'd never be able to figure out real from fake.
That was the worst part of the dream, not knowing what was real and what wasn't. I woke up shortly after to get a drink of water, and I had to text Joe and ask if he was mad at me. I just had the worst feeling in my heart.
I just participated in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure! It's a breast cancer awareness walk, and a coworker at the bank mentioned something to me last night. I've always wanted to participate in things like this because I know so many people who have been affected by cancer, but all the races I knew about were back home, and I can't do them.
So, I was really pumped about this one. I walked with two girls from work, and we never stopped. We finished in an hour and thirty five seconds. I feel so accomplished right now!
