I rejoice in what I have and I know that fresh new experiences are always ahead. I greet the new with open arms. I trust life to be wonderful. – Louise Hay
"You can be the worlds greatest hero, or its most mild mannered citizen, the only person who can write your story, is you!" - Jonathan Kent to Clark Kent
Links!
Where Else to Find ME | Anime/Maga List | Non-Anime TV Shows | The Men in My Harem
Ok, here is my Christmas Wishlist for LightFykki's Secret Santa!
My top five favorite anime shows and my favorite character from each:
What would be really great, though, was if someone could write me a story about the show Supernatural or Firefly. Dean and Castiel are my favorite characters from Supernatural and Mal, Jayne, or Simon are my favorite characters from Firefly. However, I don't expect much because I know not too many have seen or heard of the shows.
Anyways, I'd really like it if I could be the OC paired up with anyone from the list. XD To describe me as the OC, I have long blonde hair, blue green eyes, am tall, athletically built
Genres
:D
Okay, I think that's all you'll need, Secret Santa! Have fun!
So, last night, my friends and I celebrated my 21st birthday (which is actually on Tuesday) and my friend's 21st. I didn't plan on drinking much at all, but I ended up drinking a little more than planned and I experienced what being drunk feels like. I didn't have a hangover today, but I've felt like crap all day, and I broke my phone last night. But, I can't complain, I did this to myself.
So, since a few of you have been messaging me about what I was talking about it my last post, I figure I might as well come out and just say it.
All my life, I have had this 'dream' that my cousin, who is 7 years older than me, had touched me inappropriately (among a few other things that I don't want to get into) when I was 7 or 8. Putting him at 14 or 15 years old. But, I could never really remember if it was some sick dream I had or if it was real. Because, come on, what family member would do that? Especially when he was that much older than me. I wanted to believe it wasn't true so much that my mind sort of granted it. I eventually forgot about it completely until a couple of summers ago when I started remembering bits and pieces randomly.
This past weekend, I went home for Halloween, and my mom and myself and my brother were talking about why my mom didn't like my cousin, and she started talking about how my cousin had molested me when I was younger. So, I basically found out it was true.
And, to be honest, it didn't really bother me. It's been almost 12 years. I don't see him hardly anymore. We don't get along with that family very well. Well, I get along with his younger sister well enough. But, we don't talk or get together for holidays anymore. So, I was sort of horrified by what I had learned, but I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I didn't need to get mad about it, nothing would change what had happened. I was sure he regretted it and has matured since then. I even started laughing when my mom started telling the story. (It's what I do when I don't know what emotion to feel >.>)
But, once I got to thinking, I realized how old he was when it happened. About 15. That's pretty old. Why would he think to do that to someone so much younger than him? And, I wonder what he thinks when he looks at me now? A part of me never wants to see him again because, I'm afraid to look at him. Though, I'm sure he doesn't think of me at all in that way. It's just weird now.
Then, I have to wonder if his sister, who is 8 years younger than him, the one I get along with, knows anything about this. We've never talked about it. But, it makes me wonder if this situation is why their mom never seemed to really like me. With so many people knowing about it that I didn't know know about it, I feel a little uneasy, and I don't really know how to feel when I see them again.
It's just very unsettling. I'm not worried about what happened. I can't do anything to change that anymore. I'm more worried about what they all think of me now. >.>
So, I have a lot of things to do tonight, but I will try to get stuff posted in all the rps! Hopefully! I'll try hard!
And, I want to apologize in advance if I'm out of it for awhile. Some rather unsettling/horrific news just came to light, and I haven't really processed it yet, but thank you in advance for understanding!
Have any of you ever experienced something so traumatic that your brain blocks the memory and years and years later something triggers you to remember it suddenly?
I just experienced this this weekend, and it's so unsettling. I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this...
