I rejoice in what I have and I know that fresh new experiences are always ahead. I greet the new with open arms. I trust life to be wonderful. – Louise Hay
"You can be the worlds greatest hero, or its most mild mannered citizen, the only person who can write your story, is you!" - Jonathan Kent to Clark Kent
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Where Else to Find ME | Anime/Maga List | Non-Anime TV Shows | The Men in My Harem
So, I spent every moment this weekend that I wasn't at work and watched Korean Dramas. Because that's what cool kids do, right? I lied, yesterday for an hour and a half I did homework. But, I finished Secret Garden and Heartstrings. If you haven't seen them, go now. Secret Garden is my favorite. It's so cute!
Have any of you seen either of them?
I want Heartstrings soundtrack right now! Agh! I already got Secret Garden's. Ya, I was that obsessed. :)
I don't consider myself a girly girl in the least, but I do like to look cute. The problem? I hate doing my own hair. My mom is a beautician, so whenever I needed my hair done, she did it.
I know how to do everything, but I'm not very good yet. The other day, I wanted to curl my hair, because my hair looks super cute curled, and it took me like 30 minutes to do it! I'm so used to being done in 10 minutes. I don't think I could curl my hair every morning.
The things women do to make themselves 'pretty' I will never understand. I don't usually wear make-up, and if I do, it's just eyeliner and mascara. That's it, and I don't make it real heavy like everyone else seems to do.
A few months ago, I started wearing eyeliner every day, and one day I didn't wear it, I noticed I thought I didn't look good without it on. It was like I was depending on this little pencil to make myself look good. So, I quit using it until I didn't feel that way every time I looked in the mirror. SO, that's why I don't wear make-up.
People look beautiful enough without it.
I just watched 1 Litre of Tears, a Japanese drama. Here is the summary for it: 15-year-old Ikeuchi Aya was an ordinary girl, the daughter of a family who works at a tofu shop, and a soon-to-be high schooler. However, lately, strange things have been happening to Aya. She has been falling down often and has been walking funny. Her mother, Shioka, takes Aya to see the doctor, and he tells Shioka that Aya has spinocerebellar degeneration - a terrible disease where the brain gradually deteriorates to the point where the victim cannot walk, speak, write, or eat. However it does not affect the mind. How will Aya react when told about her disease? And how will Aya live from now on?
It was the saddest freaking drama I have ever seen! The real kicker is that it is based on a real story. Aya was told to keep a diary, so she did and it eventually got published and millions of people have bought the publication, and it continues to give people hope.
It is such a sad, but still very inspiring drama that I would recommend to everyone.
Tell me a truth about you and your best friend:
I have more than one best friend. We are all crazy and awesome. We aren't fake. We do our own thing and don't give a shit about what other people say about us.
Tell me a truth about your job:
I work at Walmart and at a Golf Course. I love the golf course job because I drive a beverage cart all day and work on my tan. :)
I despise working at Walmart, though after 6 months, I'm starting to make friends there.
Tell me a truth about your dream:
To be honest, my only real dream in life is to have a family. I want to meet 'the one' and have kids. I just really want kids. And, if i happen to have a kickass job that pays the bills and the things my kids deserve, then so be it.
Tell me a truth about your lover/bf-gf:
Don't have one.
Tell me a truth about a crush (if you couldn't fill out the one above):
I don't really have a crush on anyone at the moment. Other than JJ Redick of course. And Jensen Ackles. And Nathan Fillian. And Sean Maher...
Tell me a truth about your family:
They mean the world to me. I never really realized how much until I went to college and the whole Cancer ordeal took place. When you come face to face with the possibility that someone you love might die, you tend to take on a brand new perspective.
Truth about yourself:
My main thing is acceptance. Prejudices anger and upset me. Just because someone is different does not give anyone the right to bully and/or abuse someone else. We are all human being with the same feelings. We all express those feelings a little bit differently, but that's what makes us special.
Truth about a sibling:
I'll do both siblings.
The 17 year old- I care about him very much. I would do anything for him, and I hope he knows that. We used to fight a lot as kids, but I think that just comes with being each others' only company growing up. We were with each other 24/7, so it makes sense that we were at each others' throats. It just makes me sad that for whatever reason, he won't confide in me the way I do with him.
The 10 year old- Love this kid so much! We talk on the phone every once in awhile, but it's not enough for me. I practically raised him when he was really little. I was there for his first words, his first steps, you name it. Makes me sad being this far away and missing out on all his awesome stories and adventures.
Truth about the worst movie you ever said you saw:
Seen a bunch of terrible movies in my day. Most of them, I thought would be bad, but I caved when friends wanted to watch them.
Truth about the life you live now:
I love my life. Sure, it has its low moments, but whose doesn't? That's just life, and each new experience makes me into a better person. I take all these experiences and learn from them. I try to be the best that I can be, and if people don't like me for that, then they weren't worth my time from the beginning.
Truth about the life you lived before:
In High school, I was so worried about living up to everyone's expectations of me and exceeding them. I was so innocent and young and naive to the real world. I let my classmates walk all over me. Now, I want to live up to my own expectations and do the best that I can with everything that I do. I try to stick up for myself more.
Your real age: 20 almost 21 :)
Your real Name: Demons and Angels.
One thing you hate about yourself: My inability to say no.
One thing you love about yourself: My optimism. :D
I'm really bored today, so I decided to write up a post here in this world. Though, I always feel weird talking about myself. I mean, I'm afraid to come across needy or self absorbed or something like that. So, I haven't really talked about my life on a day to day basis before.
But, I decided to try it out and see how it goes.
I don't have to work at all today, and I didn't yesterday, so my whole weekend has been free. Sounds great, you might think. But, I live alone, so I'm kind of lonely. I need things to do. I get bored VERY easily. I can't do too much of one thing without wishing I was doing something else. The internet is awesome and all, but there is a reason I have 6 tabs always open. And, because I work two jobs, I don't usually want to do anything when I don't have to do anything because I want to relax. So, laziness sets in, which is my own problem. I'll eventually get to the grocery list, the cleaning, the drawing, the writing, and the reading that I could do.
I never get mail or email from friends, as we only ever talk via text or facebook. But, everyone is out of town or busy this weekend, so I'm not sure what to do with myself.
So, I did the one thing that I love. Played basketball. If you've read any of my posts before or know me at all, you know that basketball is my one true passion, which I am no longer supposed to play. But, I did it anyway. I mean, I wasn't playing with anyone, and I knew if I was careful, I wouldn't get hurt. I grabbed the water, my MP3 player, my ball, and before I knew it, I was shooting hoops.
I had forgotten how much I loved the feel of the basketball in my hands, the sound of the ball going through the net. I only played for about 35 minutes because my knee was starting to tire and hurt. I was smart. I know my limits. But, damn do I miss it.
It makes me so upset that my career was cut short. I missed out on half of my junior year and all of my senior year. Right before I couldn't play anymore, I was butting heads with my coach, and I was finally playing minutes because he was looking passed the fact that I didn't have the name and I didn't suck up to him, and he saw that I had talent. I was playing better than the starters, and I was making my way to the top.
Where would I be if none of that had happened? I probably wouldn't have gotten to go to a big school to play in college, but I'm sure I could have played somewhere. If not, intramurals would have been a huge part of my life. I would have went out for rugby, and I know I would have been good.
I went to one practice before my family and friends talked me out of it, and I loved the adrenaline rush that I got playing. I miss the adrenaline. None of my friends here in college really like sports. One of my friends plays sports, but that's with his other friends, and we've talked about playing together, but something always comes up and we can't.
I talk to my dad every now and again, and he tells me stories of all the leagues and tournaments he used to play in. He used to have something going on almost every day of the week. So many of his friends he met through these things. He played up through his mid forties.
I will never know what that feels like, and I find it so unfair that I am unable to experience this. Why did I have to get the short straw? Was it because I didn't practice enough? WAs I not strong enough?
I would play in a heartbeat if it wasn't for my insurance. My dad was trying to get us moved to a different, less expensive insurance company, but they denied me because I'm a liability. And, my family can't afford another surgery. Otherwise, I'd be out there playing regardless of the risks. I don't care about getting another surgery. I do care that my parents can't afford it.
Wow.... Sorry, I did not intend to go on this huge rant. I was only going to talk about how much I missed the game, not how I am feeling right now.
